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BECKAFANO's Photo BECKAFANO SparkPoints: (26,104)
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10/30/11 9:38 P

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BLCKROSE, I totally get it. I've been there and I just want you to know your not the only one. If you need to talk or change your mind please feel free to contact me.

Never mistake failure as final

Deciding what you want your life to be like is not hard. Deciding what you are willing to do and give up to get it, is the hard part.

I will do what I need to do in order to do what I want to do.

What you do and say is a reflection of who you are, so decide who you want to be and do it.

Rebecka


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TIFFANYKING5's Photo TIFFANYKING5 Posts: 94
10/29/11 7:49 A

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BLCKROSE great job in all of your efforts!! I can tell that you have a lot to be proud of for how far you've come. I will be praying for you to keep going, even when it's hard. It's comforting to know that we're not alone, even when we may mess up at times. :)

Have a very blessed day!

~ Tiffany

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CD8048102 Posts: 119
10/28/11 4:31 P

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Greetings,

I do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because I have had a long hard battle with needing accountability from others and not receiving it. It caused a great deal of destruction in my life and tore me apart emotionally to extreme extents. I have finally made it to a place where I am functioning well with holding myself accountable and deferring the bulk of my accountability to God. I feel like I need to be much stronger in this new found skill before I step back through that door again. The last thing I need at this point in my success is to slide backwards on that topicÖIíve come too far.~

~blckrose~

ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (181,498)
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10/20/11 10:47 P

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NADINEL
Thank you for being so honest, I too am behind in my reading and answering the questions. I would love to have you as a buddy for encouraging healthy eating and weight loss. I thought I was doing so good, but this week has been a real downhill battle for me, eating what I know is unhealthy. But tonight I was able to only eat half my meal and bring it home, but after eating some appetizer mushrooms, and too much bread. RAvyna.

Ravyna
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NADINEL's Photo NADINEL Posts: 11,825
10/20/11 2:25 P

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I have just started to catch up on my reading of M2C. I am now finishing chapter 6.
I have not given up. I will save these questions and answer them as I read through the chapters. I will be a few days or weeks later than the schedule.

I do/do not want to invite a friend on my journey to healthy eating because _______

a. I do not want to invite a friend that I see in flesh and blood form (work, church, family)
I have read the answers of several of these ladies and I agree with most of them. I don't want them to see me as a failure, I don't want to impact the friendship in any negative way. There is no way I am asking a family member (sister, mom). They "encourage" with critiquing/criticizing what I eat, how much I eat, and how little I move. My relationships with them are strained at best since they have these opinions of me already. No way, no way am I asking them.
b. I DO want to invite a SparkFriend to help me. Most of you understand how hard it is on this journey to health and it's non-confrontational and encouraging most all the time.
Any takers?

ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,136
10/10/11 12:24 A

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emoticon emoticon Trying to make up some reading...
I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because ____

I Do not want to invite a friend....because I don't want to be the 'accountable' partner for someone else...see Rebecka's comments. ""I would never tell ANYONE how I feel, because I'm never met with the right balance of 'things' either people try to comfort me and other try to give me opinions, lectures and 'help.' I know when they try to comfort me, they are lying because i KNOW at least some of what I'm feeling is true and I shouldn't ignore my responsibility. However, when others give me opinions and such, instead of feeling cared about I feel they are trying to shoe how important they are and I don't want to be used. I also feel dismissed, judged and put aside.""

The fear that being Accountable would end a friendship.

Edited by: ASOBFALLS at: 10/10/2011 (00:28)
Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
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TIFFANYKING5's Photo TIFFANYKING5 Posts: 94
9/29/11 10:30 P

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Hello everyone, I did two blog posts today for this chapter because I had so many notes from when I read it and learned so much! The first one is on regretting our eating choices and the second one is on accountability. :) Enjoy! And thank you to those of you who read!! :)

thisfleetinglife-hope.blogspot.com/2
01
1/09/made-to-crave-study-i-shouldnt-R>have.html


thisfleetinglife-hope.blogspot.com/2
01
1/09/made-to-crave-study-accountabilR>ity.html


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BECKAFANO's Photo BECKAFANO SparkPoints: (26,104)
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9/29/11 2:25 P

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We got our treadmill on sale and with free shipping some time in the spring (I think) from a company called ProForm. I would suggest keeping an eye on their web-site and also keep an eye on sites like Craigs List - there are a lot of people who buy things like that at the beginning of the year as a new years resolution and then decide to get rid of it because it's in the way and they don't use it.

I was also wondering if since so many of us have trouble finding reliable accountability partners, maybe we could find a way to do that for each other. I know we all 'hang' out at certain threads together, but what about a thread specifically designated to specific accountability issues. Or to take an even braver step, how about (those of us that can and want to) swapping phone numbers, e-mail addresses and such and start contacting each other a couple times a week at specific times, with a specific list of questions and/or items to check up on.

Never mistake failure as final

Deciding what you want your life to be like is not hard. Deciding what you are willing to do and give up to get it, is the hard part.

I will do what I need to do in order to do what I want to do.

What you do and say is a reflection of who you are, so decide who you want to be and do it.

Rebecka


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ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (181,498)
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9/28/11 11:04 P

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Julie, thanks for sharing. With those problems of vertigo and passing out you shouldn't be on a treadmill without anyone else there either. Maybe your husband would consent if you could find one on one of those free sites I forget the name, freespace.com or something? One of my other friends on SP got an eliptical machine because someone just wanted to get rid of it. Also maybe your husband would go walking with you? With my PT I just started, I was told that I need to do my strengthening exercises EVERY DAY. ugh. I still have two of them to do before I go to bed.
God will provide the way for you to get the exercise you need.

Ravyna
Central time zone - North Texas
Sparkversary 6/15/2011

2019 Spring 5% Challenge ~ Cloverleaf
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JLVS2BAKE Posts: 5,150
9/28/11 10:49 P

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I hear ya,
I wish I could find someone local to be accountable to. but there are pros and cons to both online and local Christian friend. I don't have a good schedule or health that accomodates working out with someone here, not that it has to be done at the same time as my friend, but have found in the past that that helped the most. Am trying to talk hubby into a treadmill for me but he says we cannot afford it. I'm leaving that in God's hands. I would go for a walk outside but have passing out spells and chronic vertigo and they dont want me wandering off wherever since if there was a problem, they would not know where to loook for me.
online, I am scared that I wont push myself as much since I never actually see the person face to face, it;s easy to cheat or let myself slide. those are just my feelings. Julie


A NEW YEAR --- A NEW ME!


Sooner or later, we will all slow down, stumble or fall as we go on our journey to a healthy life, we are only failures when we refuse to get back up and keep on going forward. No matter how many times we may stumble and fall, get back up and keep on going!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Lets get moving!!! Givethanks!!!


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ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (181,498)
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9/28/11 10:14 P

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Complete this sentence: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because ______________________________________.

If I had a friend that I trusted, who lived near me, I would want them to be in this with me. I don't have someone like that in person, however, I have met a number of people on Spark People who are on this journey with me. I am still new to this whole idea of learning to live healthily, and have shared it with a few people I know in Person, but not many. I have shared my statuses on Facebook, and have been encouraged by friends there to keep at my weight loss, but I don't know if they see it as dieting, or as a healthy lifestyle. I want to live a healthy lifestyle, not diet.

3. My biggest obstacle in making accountability a reality is having someone to do it with. Someone who is as the same commitment level as I am, who has come to the same conclusions that I have, someone who is at the same stage that I am at.

4. Having an accountable partner in the area of healthy living would be the same for me as in my walk for/with Christ. I find that even hard. I find Christians to be unusually difficult to be accountable, even though the Bible calls us to be so. Christ wants us to be honest about our sin, our faults, and our lives. Too often we are not. It should follow that we could also be accountable about our eating and exercise.


Ravyna
Central time zone - North Texas
Sparkversary 6/15/2011

2019 Spring 5% Challenge ~ Cloverleaf
2019 summer 5% Challenge ~ Cloverleaf
2019 fall 5% challenge ~ Shooting Star


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BECKAFANO's Photo BECKAFANO SparkPoints: (26,104)
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9/26/11 9:02 P

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I wonder how many bad choices and severe consequences could have been averted if that three-word statement had been applied. - I agree that most of my problems stem from doing things automatically, without thinking first. "The six Pillars of Self-esteem" call it living consciously. I have identified it as a problem, but have yet found a way to correct/change it. I agree that accountability from someone else would help, but there lies the problem - finding someone reliable.

You see, when we determine to get healthy, we will have to give up certain things and change our habits. - This is also why prayer is so important. Prayer can put God on our side as well as friends, to get us through these situations.

The thing that strikes me about this story is how much Esau gave up for just a few moments of physical satisfaction. - That is the true heart of it. We are giving up WHO we are when we let go of our commitments. We make commitments to things we believe in and reinforce that by acting our/carrying out that belief and commitment. Giving in is giving up on who we are - like Esau did.

Question 1 - I mostly feel envious and discouraged. I fake it and encourage them, but inside all I can do is go through all the list of things I have failed at and all the discipline and control I lack. I would never tell ANYONE how I feel, because I'm never met with the right balance of 'things' either people try to comfort me and other try to give me opinions, lectures and 'help.' I know when they try to comfort me, they are lying because i KNOW at least some of what I'm feeling is true and I shouldn't ignore my responsibility. However, when others give me opinions and such, instead of feeling cared about I feel they are trying to shoe how important they are and I don't want to be used. I also feel dismissed, judged and put aside.

Question #2 I do/ do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because - I'm afraid of what it does to a relationship. I'm afraid of others seeing the extend of "badness" in me that I see. I'm afraid of conflict. I am afraid of confrontation. I'm a pushover and i can trust that on bad days I will give myself a break. I'm afraid the problem is me and I will always fail and I will always push people away if they really see that part of me.

Edited by: BECKAFANO at: 9/26/2011 (21:35)
Never mistake failure as final

Deciding what you want your life to be like is not hard. Deciding what you are willing to do and give up to get it, is the hard part.

I will do what I need to do in order to do what I want to do.

What you do and say is a reflection of who you are, so decide who you want to be and do it.

Rebecka


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TIFFANYKING5's Photo TIFFANYKING5 Posts: 94
9/25/11 10:53 A

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I do want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because I have always thought it would help me actually keep eating better. The only problem has been that when I have done this with a friend it did not last, after a while she would be too busy or I would be too busy and we would just stop doing it all together or say we should. I just think it didn't work out well with the friend I was accountable to. She also had been pregnant a lot and I haven't ever yet so we weren't on the same page. I also forget that I can be honest with people and have them pray for me even if we can't be accountable to each other. Lysa reminded me of this when I read through this chapter again. :) The only fear I have when I think about being accountable to someone else is HAVING to do it, I would be stuck and if I did slip up and tried to hide it or not mention it I would feel guilty or if I had to tell them I ate something bad I would feel bad about it. I guess this is why an accountability partner is supposed to work? It just hasn't worked that way for me yet. I try to not hide things and to be honest, but it still runs through my brain as a fear in this process. :/

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ANITAHASGOALS SparkPoints: (0)
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9/24/11 8:03 P

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I do want to invite a friend to join me because I need to be held accountable, and I don't want to do it by myself. I'm tired of the excuses that I make for myself, and with someone with me, it will make it a little harder for me to make those excuses.

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1's Photo LITTLEGUYSMOM1 Posts: 13,054
9/24/11 5:54 P

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it will really motivate me to not let my accountability partner down. It's easy to make excuses to myself, but if I am held accountable for my choices those excuses just don't hold up to the light of day.

Tina
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Be still and know that I am God...
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SERENEMOM71 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/24/11 5:51 P

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it is easier to work a program of healthy eating if you are accountable to another person (besides God) and more fun, too.

I can do ALL things through Christ whom strengthens me.


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JLVS2BAKE Posts: 5,150
9/24/11 1:08 P

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because they will see what a failure I am. They will see how sick I really am and how unhealthy I am and how Little I really and How little I can do anymore and I am only 40. how much I really want to give up;



A NEW YEAR --- A NEW ME!


Sooner or later, we will all slow down, stumble or fall as we go on our journey to a healthy life, we are only failures when we refuse to get back up and keep on going forward. No matter how many times we may stumble and fall, get back up and keep on going!

YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Lets get moving!!! Givethanks!!!


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CD10154483 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/24/11 12:50 P

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I am still suffering with diet mentality, and I am afraid of anxiety and failure if I have to report to someone.

LITTLEGUYSMOM1's Photo LITTLEGUYSMOM1 Posts: 13,054
9/24/11 8:53 A

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Complete this sentence: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because ______________________________________.

Tina
Team Co-Leader Christian Women with Depression (CWWD)

5% Challenge - Starfish team
North Carolina - Eastern Time Zone

Be still and know that I am God...
Psalm 46:10a


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