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BECKAFANO's Photo BECKAFANO SparkPoints: (26,104)
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11/15/11 12:45 P

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Questions

1. I do believe many things would be better because our wold is so focused on appearance. I believe it would minimize the obsticals I face from the outside world, making it easier to deal with internal things. But overall, my biggest issue with my weight is KNOWING that it comes between my and The Lord in so many ways. I know from experience that my weight won't make my life easier, but it is an obedience issue between The Lord and I.

2. I associate all activities with food. Even daily activities. As simple as waking up; with depression, it's hard to get up and it deserves a reward. That's breakfast. Getting through the first half of my work day; my job is stressful and has many ups and downs, so I use lunch as a reward and I use dinner as a way to unwind from the day. But then there are special occasions, like; holidays, birthdays, church functions, family get-togethers, scrapbook weekends, I even think of times alone as 'precious' and worth 'celebrating' with food. Food is (or has been) the anchor of my life - not just through the hard times or even day to day, but moment to moment.

3. I use to think being married would improve my life. And, oh y, has that not turned out like I planned; owning a house, having kids, owning pets, etc.

4. In my life there are many; brother, sister, in-laws, co-workers, bosses, clients, etc. I know I'm incomplete. No doubt about it.

5. As I was reading I was thinking about acts of kindness. I didn't even think of myself. I've known for a long time I've needed to be nicer to myself, but I never thought of being nicer to myself because of my incompleteness. I do it for others when I can, but never for myself. I'll have to work on that.

Never mistake failure as final

Deciding what you want your life to be like is not hard. Deciding what you are willing to do and give up to get it, is the hard part.

I will do what I need to do in order to do what I want to do.

What you do and say is a reflection of who you are, so decide who you want to be and do it.

Rebecka


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BECKAFANO's Photo BECKAFANO SparkPoints: (26,104)
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11/14/11 1:00 P

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'This is the curse of the skinny jeans. My body size is not tied to my happy. If my happy was missing when I was larger, it will still be missing when I get smaller. - Again this is key (funny how major key points have to be repeated and sometimes we still don't get it.) Our thoughts have to change if we truly want this to be a lifestyle change. As a man THINKS in his HEART so is he. It starts with our thoughts, them permeates our hearts and emotions and that leads to action. Our circumstances don't permeate out heart unless that's what we are focused on. If we are God focused, He will permeate and fill our hearts.

Tying my happy to the wrong things is partially what caused my weight gain in the first place. There were too many experiences I enjoyed primarily because of the food that was attached to them. - I agree, too many tags in my life are tied to food. Even every day things, like basic meals. I look forward to the next meal and because I feel like I've waited so long I want all I can get before its over and taken away from me. Then I'm either stuffed and depressed or I start looking forward to the next meal already.

It may have brought moments of temporary thrills, but waiting for her at home were those journals filled with prayers asking God to help her. Even on the day she wore those skinny jeans - I think of my weight and my issues with food as the BIG issue, but honestly I'm not always 100% sure it is. Sometimes its actually just that I've become comfortable with those issues and it occupies my mind and time so I don't have to deal with the other issues.

Oh, the prayers I have prayed over and over and over for God to help me, stabilize me, and tie my happy only to Him. It's called learning to remain. - Learning to remain. It sounds so perfect and illusive at the same time.

Isaiah 55:8 - It illustrates things that are necessary that i can not do with my best efforts. Yet God can do with His simple words. These things are necessary. He cares so much that He caused us to be dependent on things only He can provide so there would be a system to draw us close to Him.

John 15:9-12 - It is interesting that our joy is complete as a result of our obedience to His guidance. Not because we've lost weight or reached some kind of goal, but because we've been obedient. And it's important to notice that our joy is complete when we are obedient to HIM, not a diet or starvation or our own self will, but Him and only Him.

Incomplete people are difficult, demanding, and always in pursuit of that next thing that will surely fill them. - I need to start seeing difficult people as 'incomplete.' It makes it easier to not take things personal, not get defensive and to not feel anger or hate toward them ...well not as much.

Incomplete people are desperate for others to notice their diet progress, but quickly realize compliments don't assure connection or intimacy. They are not more liked or accepted or welcomed in. - It makes me realize we are all difficult in our own way and to a degree. And in some respects we will always be that way, but we do not have to center our lives around our brokenness. We can center it around the One who brings peace in the midst of a storm and comfort in the midst of chaos.

I reached the conclusion that incomplete people are a trigger that make me want to eat. They are complicated and sensitive and messy in their reactions. - I am 100% there. Incomplete people bring out the absolute worst in me and in split seconds. Maybe, what it really is, is that the incompleteness in others brings out or rubs against or shins a light on the incompleteness in us. And no one wants to see their own incompleteness. Because we know how hard we've worked and how far we've come and see flaws after all that work is like a slap in the face. Or maybe, it's something else completely.

What if I could be courageous enough to act and react like a complete person - a Jesus girl who has His joy in her, sustaining her, and directing her? - In our weakness His strength is made perfect. Our incompleteness is what makes it possible for Jesus to dwell in us, if we were complete and perfect, there would be no room for Him. The same is true for others incompleteness. It gives us an opportunity to share how God has filled our incomplete parts with Himself, but in order to do that we have to be constantly focused on the Jesus within us and not the incompleteness within us. Because no matter how great our incompleteness is, He is greater.

So instead of filling my afternoons with thoughts of frustration toward others or tempting thoughts about food, I am filling my afternoons with His thoughts of love toward others. - This is where our thoughts should be no matter what time of day it is and no matter what circumstances have surrounded our day, week or month. I recently read a devotional that reminded me that Jesus is NEVER limited by circumstances, but we are often distracted and devastated by them. Lazarus had died, a circumstance we think of as final (as final as it gets) but Jesus was not distracted or deterred by that circumstance at all.

Edited by: BECKAFANO at: 11/14/2011 (21:44)
Never mistake failure as final

Deciding what you want your life to be like is not hard. Deciding what you are willing to do and give up to get it, is the hard part.

I will do what I need to do in order to do what I want to do.

What you do and say is a reflection of who you are, so decide who you want to be and do it.

Rebecka


 current weight: 277.6 
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ASOBFALLS's Photo ASOBFALLS Posts: 19,136
11/10/11 7:52 P

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I certainly am able to be full of joy when I am not my ideal weight, and when I am not a perfect house wife, and when I am not a perfect employee, when I am not a perfect friend.....because I am an incomplete person in myself. I am complete in Christ, when I allow that to happen.
emoticon Nothing can separate me from the Love of God. I am complete in His Love.

Joyce, a Daughter of the King, that is, a Princess!
leader Christian Women with Depression
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SUNSHINE192DAY's Photo SUNSHINE192DAY SparkPoints: (80,502)
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11/4/11 9:18 A

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I've tied my happy to other people. Since we are all incomplete it never works out well and it triggers me to eat...a lot! I know it's possible to feel joy without my skinny jeans because I've had it happen before while I've been overweight!

Current Team Leader of Every Day is a Merry FITmas team

Current Urgent Prayer Request Forum leader in Keep Walking with Jesus

Former Co-Leader of Christian Women with Depression

Central Time Zone!

With God all things are possible! Remember that and you're set!

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world. ~C. S. Lewis



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CD8048102 Posts: 119
10/31/11 12:03 A

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Greetings,

I have tied my happy to a great many things over the years of my life, but the most detrimental to my welfare was tying it to a successful relationship. And every time a relationship fails I died a little more inside until there was just about no life at all left in me. Which is pretty much what landed me on this journey so thank God for my ignorance! So yes, I could be happy even if I never lost the weight. Because for me it was never about the weight. As a friend of mine put so perfectly in one of our conversations, “Do you know why I started eating like I did? Because I wanted to be ugly and fat so no one would want me.” At least that way I wouldn’t have to deal with the failed relationships right. The catch was there are so many men out there that adore big women so that did no good…lol. So big or small, as long as I have God to keep me safe and warm…I’m good.

~blckrose~

Edited by: CD8048102 at: 10/31/2011 (00:06)
TIFFANYKING5's Photo TIFFANYKING5 Posts: 94
10/29/11 1:18 P

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I tend to tie my happy to everything but God at times. I have tied it to food, people, material things. The result is usually that I continue to feel bad for myself or about the problem that I am facing. I keep thinking about it but don't give it over to God and put it to rest. I do think that it is possible for me to feel full of joy even when I am not where I want to be with my weight. Just seeing forward progress is helping me feel more joyful. And not just that but mainly I am seeing joy more when I am just trusting God more and allowing it not to be about my weight all of the time. God loves me even if I am overweight, but the fact that I am trying makes Him proud of me I think! :)

I am so glad I read this chapter this morning instead of weeks ago when I should have because it really spoke to me today!! Here is my blog post on this chapter :)

thisfleetinglife-hope.blogspot.com/2
01
1/10/made-to-crave-study-remain-in-hR>is-love.html


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ANYVAR54's Photo ANYVAR54 SparkPoints: (181,498)
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10/29/11 1:08 P

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I am so far behind in this study, but I read chapter 12 last night, so will answer this question now.
"We are taught to remain in God's love so that we won't tie our happy to anything but God" (pg 123). To what other things besides God have you tried to tie your happy? What was the result? Do you think it's possible for you to feel full of joy even if you're not where you want to be with your weight? Why or why not?

I have over the years tried to tie my happiness to other people and how they react to me, which was evident to me last week when I had a not so nice reaction from another Christian at church. I went and bought fried chicken on the way home and it DID NOT satisfy me. So that was both PEOPLE & FOOD. Neither was satisfying.
Yes I can be full of joy even if not where I am where I want to be with my weight. I am not where I want to be with my weight, but I am learning to live in my relationship with Christ and put Him first, my husband second, and not put food on the top of the list. I am learning to say NO to food, and I also learning to say YES to exercise, even when I don't want to or feel like it.
PRAISE the LORD for HE is ALWAYS FAITHFUL!!!!!!!!
Ravyna

Ravyna
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ANITAHASGOALS SparkPoints: (0)
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10/25/11 12:40 P

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I have put my happy in things other than God. I have
Put my happy in things like clothes, praise by others,
The result was never lasting.

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LITTLEGUYSMOM1's Photo LITTLEGUYSMOM1 Posts: 13,054
10/22/11 7:44 A

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"We are taught to remain in God's love so that we won't tie our happy to anything but God" (pg 123). To what other things besides God have you tried to tie your happy? What was the result? Do you think it's possible for you to feel full of joy even if you're not where you want to be with your weight? Why or why not?

Tina
Team Co-Leader Christian Women with Depression (CWWD)

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Be still and know that I am God...
Psalm 46:10a


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