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HMCCRAY1969's Photo HMCCRAY1969 Posts: 12
11/10/14 7:38 A

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So true. My kids hate it. Now I have grand kids and do the same for them. someday they will listen emoticon

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11/9/14 8:19 P

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Great stories and jokes....................made my evening

Lord, this battle is HARD! Strengthen me!


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
11/9/14 1:05 P

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It’s hard to live with a nurse because…

When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.
emoticon Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because he doesn’t want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday he’s had off in years.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 11/9/2014 (13:05)
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HMCCRAY1969's Photo HMCCRAY1969 Posts: 12
11/3/14 6:33 A

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GRANNIEC1's Photo GRANNIEC1 SparkPoints: (75,492)
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11/2/14 12:54 A

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LOL, love it!!

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BUMBLEBEE-RN's Photo BUMBLEBEE-RN SparkPoints: (18,492)
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11/1/14 10:42 P

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An elderly man went to his cardiologist for an appointment. A couple of days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous younger woman on his arm.

At his follow up appointment, the doctor remarked,"You seem to be getting along very well nowadays,aren't you?"

The man replied, "I'm just doing what you said, Doc. 'Get a hot momma & be cheerful'."

His doctor answered, "I didn't say that. I said you've got a HEART MURMUR. BE CAREFUL."

Lisa




~*~ Don't look back ~*~

You're not going that way


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
10/18/14 9:19 P

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A nurse caring for a man from Kentucky asked, “So how’s your breakfast this morning?”

“It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied.

The nurse asked to see the jelly and the man produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”
—Facebook group LPNs Are Nurses Too! emoticon

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
10/18/14 9:17 P

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A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. “I am Gina the Great,” stated the lady. “I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!” With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.

The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. “I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need.” With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.

The floor nurse went next. “I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts.” With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.

“Now, what is the last wish?” asked the lady.

The charge nurse said, “I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break.”
—Margaret Morgan Tucker

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
10/16/14 6:03 P

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HAZARDS of being a medical professional
During family dinners you are not allowed to discuss how your day went at work emoticon emoticon emoticon


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 11,090
10/12/14 11:57 A

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Brian’s stress level was at unsurpassed levels. His wife Maggie was in labor and Brian was sure it was time to head to the hospital. Breathing heavily, Brian grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?” The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?” “SHIRLEY!” Brian screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!”

“And is this her first child?” Questioned the doctor. “NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”


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BUMBLEBEE-RN's Photo BUMBLEBEE-RN SparkPoints: (18,492)
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10/11/14 8:08 P

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This is another story... instead of a joke.

A nurse friend was at the local public swimming pool. Her daughter wanted to go into the water. Since the water was a bit cold, my friend stood by the side of the pool to watch her daughter. A young boy walked over. He said hello. Then he preceded to look my friend over from head to toe. Finally, he says to her, "Are you a nurse?" My friend was surprised. She thought how in the world could he know I was a nurse. She was wearing a bathing suit. No medical or healthcare insignia on anything. No jewelry. No tattoos. Nothing to identify her as a nurse. emoticon

She smiled. She told him that she was a nurse. He replied, "I knew it. You have fat ankles. My mom's a nurse and she has fat ankles, too."



Lisa




~*~ Don't look back ~*~

You're not going that way


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SPASCAL's Photo SPASCAL Posts: 35
10/4/14 12:39 P

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Early in my nursing career I learned that I needed to be more selective about what I say to patients -
It was a rushed morning after a heavy night on a burns and plastics unit... I remember desperately needing to pee as I went from one washroom to another measuring specific gravities... (can anyone relate?). I answered a call light and when the patient handed me a full bedpan, I said "thank you!" smiled and rushed away with this "gift"....
emoticon

Edited by: SPASCAL at: 10/4/2014 (12:45)
"Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it!" (Goethe)

"Ask yourself what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive!(Howard Thurman)


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6/8/14 3:26 P

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Every year my sister buys be a daily calendar for Christmas, usually a nursing calendar. One of the days paraphrased something like this:

A body washed up on shore and the police were perplexed as to who it would be until the medical examiner indicated it was a nurse. The police asked how it was determined it was a nurse & the examiner said the stomach was empty, the bladder was full & the a$$ was chewed out...gotta be a nurse.

"You've been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens." author unknown


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SHOAPIE's Photo SHOAPIE Posts: 31,982
5/11/14 9:23 A

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ARMATTHAEI's Photo ARMATTHAEI Posts: 2,055
5/10/14 10:24 P

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We all know a few jokes that only another nurse would get. Each of us probably have some funny stories to tell also. Please feel free to post a good laugh for us here. We all know how healing humor can be.

Edited by: ARMATTHAEI at: 5/10/2014 (22:26)
Blessings,
Amanda, RN

Team Leader of Night Shift Nurses
Team Leader of Nurses Everywhere


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