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SPROUTLET's Photo SPROUTLET Posts: 280
10/7/12 1:40 P

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Hello everyone and thank you for sharing your advice, experience and knowledge.
I've been thinking about doing Dr Gould's course, having now worked through the online free book chapters and followed his blog. I recently did the Full-Filled (Renee Stephens) online course and learned an enormous amount about my binge eating. You need to buy the book before signing up to the online course, but the book also works as a stand-alone. I just haven't managed to transfer the learning into actual behaviour change yet, but I know it's a process which usually takes time and patience. So I go on, feeling hopeful and feeling grateful to have you all in this team/forum/message board/SparkPeople place!

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." [Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.]
CD13027320 Posts: 1,157
10/7/12 1:29 P

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Yep, being mindful is hard, I so agree. But like all addicts, food is a slippery slope, and we have to stay vigilant.

I totally know that feeling of seeing my "binge of choice" and feeling a release even before ripping open the box.

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10/7/12 1:25 P

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I know exactly what you mean by "the ritual".
A few months ago I wanted a specific binge food, it took me a few days to get it because it isn't sold everywhere.
I finally made an excuse to go to the grocery store to get it and when I finally saw it,just saw it, and knew I would be getting it, I physically felt my body let go of tension and relax.
It was really weird.
I don't really remember feeling like that before,but maybe it's because I was not being consciuos of my binging as much as I am now.
It was really a "ah ha" moment for me.
I was getting something out of it and I had not even ate it yet. emoticon
Being mindful is hard business.
emoticon

CD13027320 Posts: 1,157
10/7/12 1:12 P

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Happy to help, Christina!

I am trying not to look at my drinking some tea or doing some exercise as a "distraction" from bingeing, either. Calling it a distraction, for me, gives the binge way too much power. CHOOSING to have tea, or exercise, is becoming my new way to get to that happy place.
No distraction needed.

I did the Shrink Yourself online course a couple of years ago. At first I balked at the price, but when you think about how much you spend on binge food, you'll realize that the price for the course is a moot point. I learned a lot about myself from that course and they also have a message board that was incredibly helpful. Just my little unpaid commercial for Dr. Gould, LOL.

CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
10/7/12 11:29 A

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PS will check out the book...!

Edited by: CD12459382 at: 10/7/2012 (11:29)
CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
10/7/12 11:28 A

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SLENDERELLASUE; "What I am realizing is that it wasn't so much the actual food that got me to my happy place. It was the ritual of thinking about what I craved and what treat I deserved, going to get it, preparing it, finding a sneaky way to eat it.... there was a sense of peace and purpose in that for me that was exactly what I needed. It's a very addictive feeling, obviously. I used to have that same feeling when I smoked. In those three or so minutes, the world faded away a bit. It was my "time out" from everything. "

Oh! oh! That is VERY insightful for me! It makes me realize that the things I often do to 'soothe myself' when emotional or upset, can also be used to 'prevent a binge'. Sometimes (for me) it just comes down to 'doing something else'. My relatives always 'went for a walk' - but that never worked for me - too much time to continue thinking and brooding when I walk. But there are other things that I can think of. Part of this I knew, but you put that into words SO well! thank you!

CD13027320 Posts: 1,157
10/7/12 11:08 A

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I think that for a binge eater of many years, so much is habit. I never knew (or cared)
how I really felt, what was really going on. Any emotion would translate into, "I want candy"
or "I'm having a gallon of ice cream".

What I am realizing is that it wasn't so much the actual food that got me to my happy place. It was the ritual of thinking about what I craved and what treat I deserved, going to get it, preparing it, finding a sneaky way to eat it.... there was a sense of peace and purpose in that for me that was exactly what I needed. It's a very addictive feeling, obviously. I used to have that same feeling when I smoked. In those three or so minutes, the world faded away a bit. It was my "time out" from everything.

Now that I haven't binged for about a month I am seeing that I can get this peaceful feeling by choosing a particular cup of tea I would like, or choosing which bubble bath to use.
Do I miss the excess food? I do. But every day that I flex my "no" muscle, I feel that much stronger.

I encourage all of you to get Dr. Roger Gould's book Shrink Yourself. It is the best, most helpful book I have EVER read on the subject, and I am the queen of self help books, LOL.


SPROUTLET's Photo SPROUTLET Posts: 280
10/7/12 9:23 A

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Thank you for sharing and posting this. I think it's a very good analysis. Dr Gould's comments about emotional/binge eaters being more deeply affected due to a sensitive & caring nature do strike a chord with me. I know that I use food to prevent myself from feeling pain; sweet foods are my anaesthesia, but my problem is intercepting the repetitive behaviour. It feels like I only become aware of what I've done after the binge, when my belly is bursting and the bin (trash can) is full of empty wrappers. I don't even notice cravings, let alone battle against cravings before giving in. Instead, my behaviour is like that of a robot which has been pre-programmed to eat, then eat more, and keep on eating. By the time I become aware of what I'm doing it's too late. That's my major struggle.

Edited by: SPROUTLET at: 10/7/2012 (11:17)
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." [Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D.]
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10/6/12 4:59 P

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This is by far the best explained reason of why I binge.
You have been doing your homework! emoticon
Thank you for sharing this.
I think I will write it down and when I feel the eating frenzy coming(like Thursday) I will read it and re-read it until I get it under control.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
10/6/12 3:26 P

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Thanks for posting this.

I can relate very much to this part " this kind of emotional eating is a way of "changing the subject" and shutting down your mind."
However to me that is only one part of the binge story.



NORA0099's Photo NORA0099 Posts: 32
10/6/12 12:35 P

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Thank you. This is great. It's just that at the moment when emotional eating happens, one doesn't stop to think what's going on in their lives. We just do it! That's why it's impulsive. But, the doctor is right: it's not a quick fix and I've realized this. Of course I want to lose 40 lbs. ASAP but I realize in doing so, I wouldn't be fixing the underlying problem.

Thanks again :)

I accept myself unconditionally right now.


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CD13027320 Posts: 1,157
10/6/12 12:11 P

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by Dr. Roger Gould, author of Shrink Yourself


Any painful life frustration can trigger emotional eating. It could be a difficult marriage, a stressful job, a negative self image or the unrealistic pursuit for "perfection."

And what drives one to emotional eating one day can be different the next.

This might be disappointing information if you're hoping to find and fix just ONE emotional eating trigger that explains it all.

However, if you look closer there IS something that ties it all together. It's not out there where things happen to you; it's inside you. The common denominator is the way YOUR mind and body responds to the frustrating triggers of a complex life.

It's likely that you are a very sensitive and caring person and things bother you on a deeper level than most. So, when too many negative things happen at once, particularly when you're tired and overworked, your sensitivity to being hurt increases and you feel more vulnerable.

On emotional eating days, those days when you have an overwhelming desire to eat too much, you are really "hurting too much." And you simply don't believe you can bear the pain.

It's not the source of the problem, however, that makes you overeat; it's the emotional pain you feel when you think about what's bothering you or what you need to do to resolve it.

Your food cravings are automatic reflexes. Some part of you rings the emergency signal because you feel flooded or overwhelmed, and anticipate being even more hurt and more overwhelmed.

You incorrectly believe that you have to eat to avoid some emotional disaster. This kind of emotional eating is a way of "changing the subject" and shutting down your mind.

Again, this kind of emotional eating is a way of "changing the subject" and shutting down your mind.

The key, then, is to interrupt and modify this self-destructive pattern in order to be in full control of your eating habits. And in order to change this pattern you need to turn off your "Hunger Switch."

You can't turn it off if you're convinced you'll hurt so much that you won't be able to bear it.

You can, however, turn it off (and thousands have) by learning from your own real life experiences that the hurt you are predicting is not at all unbearable, and no more frustrating to handle than it is on good food days when you feel in control.

You have to prove to yourself that no disaster will occur if you interrupt this reflex long enough to pause and start thinking about what's bothering you. You have to prove this to yourself, repeatedly, until you're absolutely sure that it's true.

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