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MAIDAMONTREAL's Photo MAIDAMONTREAL SparkPoints: (24,449)
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10/14/12 7:40 P

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I too was a chubby child. I would always ask for seconds of food, especially potatoes or potato puffs, or soup. Sometimes I would get it and sometimes my mother would say, no you've had enough'. I just loved to eat as a child. At 14 I was put on a diet and then at 15 my mother put me on weight watchers. Both my siblings were skinny and could eat what they wanted without gaining a single ounce which made me mad and feel that life was unfair. At night when watching tv my siblings and parents would come down with bowls of ice cream or cake and I would have either nothing or a piece of cheese. When I would reach for something my dad would say 'uh uh that's fatso food'. At WW I lost 10 lbs but then gained it right back. But I always loved gym classes.

In my 20's I got into fitness, hiking, and skiing. However, at around age 28 when I lived on my own was when I started binge and mindless eating. I don't know what started it but I am sure it culminates from boredom and low self esteem issues. I am 51 years old and it is still a problem to this day. I think if I got some kind of therapy I would lose the weight.

EST time zone
Montreal, QC
Travel blog:
www.myloveoftravels.blogspot.ca


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JOHAL52's Photo JOHAL52 Posts: 2,287
10/14/12 4:24 P

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My mother loved me with food from the time I was a baby. Born in 1952, she felt that filling me up with creamy mashed potatoes and other starchy foods and sweets would make me a "bonny baby." So I was always slightly chubby. Not obese but chubby enough to be teased by my slender elder sister and to have people shake their heads at me when I reached for an extra cookie. (Which only made me get sneaky about food.) Whenever I had a disappointment, my mother would give me a food treat. Whenever I was home alone I raided the fridge. Potato chips with warmed-up gravy on top, leftover desserts, even whipped cream spurted out of the can and into my mouth. I never became obese but I always carried an extra 20-30 pounds. Now that I am past menopause and my marriage is into a "friend" stage, I find myself letting the pounds pile on and struggling with the pull between wanting to be slim again as I was three years ago and comfort eating.

Daily affirmation:
* I am a good person, and I deserve respect.
* I choose to respect myself today by refusing to engage in verbal or emotional self-abuse.
* I have been successful at many things I have set out to do, and I can learn to do better at the things that give me problems.
--Dean Anderson

We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become each day.
--Richard G. Scott


 current weight: 162.2 
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SUNNYRUTH's Photo SUNNYRUTH Posts: 98
10/10/12 12:19 P

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Very good point!

One day at a time.
JUST_JULES's Photo JUST_JULES SparkPoints: (0)
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10/10/12 9:03 A

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Great ladies, it's so important to face the past in order to take on the future. If we don't learn from our mistakes it was a waste of time making them emoticon

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CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
10/10/12 5:57 A

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I was a little chubby as a child. My mother's idea of 'heatlhy eating' was eating three meals a day of what was then considered healthy foods (meat, milk, cheese, bread) plus 'extra's' - I got rewarded with candy when I came out of school. I also remember being more or less forced (pushed) to eat and drink things that I did not like.
I grew up in a 'dysfunctonal' family, getting a lot of criticism and not being treated with acceptance and respect.
At the age of 15 after my first boyfriend dumped me, I wanted to go on a diet. I thought something must be wrong with me because I got dumped, and while I wasn't sure what it was, one thing I COULD do was lose weight. My mother, somewhat to my surprise, eagerly helped me and taught me a weigh watcher calorie counting type of diet. I used that for the next ten years or so, losing weight, gaining it again, losing it, gaining more. You know the story, probably.
When I was 40 I finally thought I'd give up on the idea of ever becoming slender. I weighed 220 lbs then. I started doing things I loved, following my passions, began to work part time with people. I practiced yoga for fun (yoga doesn't count as 'exercise', for me, and I hated exercise because I thought it was something I 'had to' do).
Not long afterwards I just wanted to 'eat clean' for a week. Not to lose weight just because I felt stuffed with all the junkfood I'd been eating.
I followed the guidelines of 'Fit for Life' and I liked it so much that I continued after that one week. In six months time I lost a lot of weight! This was 2006. In the years after that I gained back some of the weight after I gradually let go of the Fit for Life principles. About half of it.
Now I don't think that FFL is 'the' answer, but it did make me become aware that eating a lot of vegetables and fruit is very important, not just to lose weight but to feel well and have energy.
My idea now is that the focus should be on 'what makes me feel good', what gives me energy, what do I enjoy and not 'just' on how many lbs one needs to lose.

Edited by: CD12459382 at: 10/10/2012 (05:58)
CD9394210 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/9/12 7:59 P

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I was a normal weight child until I hit puberty.
I was don't think I was that big,but my mom hates fat people and she got me on weight watchers when I was 15. I lost 20 lbs and was really skinny,but I still felt fat.
I was actually thinking about that today, how, my mom let me have so much junk food all the time ( when I look back, i'm appalled by what she bought for me to eat!) but when I gained weight,she made me feel so bad about it.
After that, I started hiding food,sneaking food and eating as fast as I could (binging) before she saw me.
Like when she would go for a walk, I would watch were she was and just raided the cupboards and fridge.
I even learned how to make fudge,eat it all and watch the dishes in the time it took her to go for her walk. Pretty sneaky!
And thus started my binging that i'm trying so hard to get under control now.
But knowing all this does not make it any easier to stop.
And i'm not angry at her or anything. She was doing what she though best-like all parents.
emoticon

SUNNYRUTH's Photo SUNNYRUTH Posts: 98
10/9/12 7:24 P

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I was a chubby child. I think I've always used food to deal with difficult emotions because in my family we're not allowed to express them. Various life experiences (divorce, for example) have cemented my use of emotional overeating. I'm now trying to undo years of bad habits and explore other ways to deal with unsettling emotions like anger, sadness, irritation, and others. This has actually been a good exercise to think about when I first remember overeating!

One day at a time.
JUST_JULES's Photo JUST_JULES SparkPoints: (0)
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10/9/12 4:59 P

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It's great hearing others food histories - Thanks ladies x x x

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GIULIA19's Photo GIULIA19 Posts: 106
10/9/12 1:46 P

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Hi..
Jenae and Jules.. Reading both your comments I see such a contrast. My experience was different as well. I was average/normal until I turned 16 and decided I needed to starve myself to lose 15 pounds and be a size 4. That was the beginning of the end for me. Since then I have been chubby and then very thin until I had my first child and was again "normal" just to go and be 25 pounds overweight after I had my second baby. In the proceeding years I gained another 15 pounds even with exercise.. now in midlife- I will be 44 in a month or so.I still use food to make me happy and make me feel better and take away any hurt I feel.. add to that that I love sweets and I dont know if I will ever be able to lose even 10 pounds. . I am the kind of person who cannot have just a small bag of chips or one candy bar..it has to be 4 small bags of chips and three candy bars.. I always eat enough to make myself feel sick. I saw recent pictures of myself but find it hard to understand how I look like that. What happened to me? I lost 6 pounds only to gain it back a few times.At this stage I just want to be a medium again.. :) thanks for listening..

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JENAE954 Posts: 7,020
10/9/12 12:05 P

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I was very thin as a child. Didn't have weight issues until my first pregnancy.
Gained 75 pounds and have struggled for over 50 years (yes, I'm old but the mind is still sharp).
Recently I made the decision to make a lifestyle change. I wanted to get healthy. Better late than never. Found Spark People and was off to the weight loss races. I log everything I eat and drink, stay within the calorie range and have started to exercise a little. Still deconditioned but making progress. Thank you SP.

Jenae


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JUST_JULES's Photo JUST_JULES SparkPoints: (0)
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10/9/12 11:59 A

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Writing down your food history or why n when you became to have a bad relationship with food can help you to pin point the reasons why we use food as we do. What points in your past have made food your best friend and your worst enemy??

I was always a 'large' child. I had a growth hormonal defect when I was small n by the time I was 5 I looked like a 10 year old. By the time I was 5 my mother had given up on putting me on diet after diet and regularly said 'she's just ment to be fat' and I guess I just sort of started living up to the expectation. When I was at high school I'd use my pocket money to get chocolate from the tuck machine and I'd do all I could to get out of P.E as the teachers always picked on the less then physically fit kids. That spawned my hatred for excersize and as I got older I found that food was the only friend who really knew me, the real me. When my first relationship ended in abuse I blamed myself and continued to ballon. Food was my security. Distancing myself from the world. So eager to please I made my fake front so believable that even I didn't know who I really was anymore and to some extent I still don't. Food now is the thing that picks me up when I'm down, comforts me when I'm sad, numbs my anger and is always there.

So whats your food history x

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