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MABELOSER's Photo MABELOSER Posts: 41
3/12/13 8:16 A

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Thank you! May I ask did you do the shrink yourself with the one time counselor. (the more expensive one) or the other one? I've been considering doing the less expensive one, but wondered if it would be good or it might just be computered generated answers and not so good?

Thanks for the encouragement. I've started a brand new day! And I'm much encouraged to continue now on my journey! I guess I've had weight issues all of my life. I was really painfully thin until my teenage years when I started to struggle a little, then after I married I began to pile on the weight. So this is "my cross to bear" so to speak. I'll battle this for life, but the good news is I can lose the weight and I will. emoticon

I'm hopeful with sparkpeople support that I can lose weight and get healthier.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/11/13 6:54 P

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Yes, that was the program, Shrink Yourself by Dr. Gould. I loved the online program. My husband immigrated to the US in 1972 and he grew up with no meat...he still has issues with meat at times but has overcome the idea that he hasn't eaten unless he has had beef! My father was always shoving food in our faces...he loved to feed people! You can and will overcome...just take the time to work through it. It's the day to day small improved choices that will last you for the long haul.


Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/11/13 6:54 P

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Yes, that was the program, Shrink Yourself by Dr. Gould. I loved the online program. My husband immigrated to the US in 1972 and he grew up with no meat...he still has issues with meat at times but has overcome the idea that he hasn't eaten unless he has had beef! My father was always shoving food in our faces...he loved to feed people! You can and will overcome...just take the time to work through it. It's the day to day small improved choices that will last you for the long haul.


Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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MABELOSER's Photo MABELOSER Posts: 41
3/10/13 4:45 P

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Are you talking about the program "Shrink Yourself".....did you do that? I was tempted to try it, so if you think it is beneficial let me know. Myself I actually grew up with lack of food. I sometimes think that it is still in my psysic that I can't get enough because of the lack of it at an early age. Who knows!! Just a thought. emoticon

I'm hopeful with sparkpeople support that I can lose weight and get healthier.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/10/13 2:16 P

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I don't think I have seen the word appestat but I like it! You are always encouraging. emoticon

Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/10/13 2:16 P

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I don't think I have seen the word appestat but I like it! You are always encouraging. emoticon

Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/10/13 2:11 P

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Mabelloser I did that program and went back to it too! It is a great self-educator and I have recommended it many times to clients. It is the program I go back to when I lose motivation and steam. We grew up around tons of food; church socials, picnics, parties, groups and all the functions that go with being raised in a preacher's home...being a wife of one isn't much different! It is a hard lesson for some of us but worth learning that we can love and care for ourselves as well as others. If we don't care for ourselves, we won't be here to care for others!

Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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ZOLETTE1's Photo ZOLETTE1 Posts: 274
3/10/13 2:11 P

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Mabelloser I did that program and went back to it too! It is a great self-educator and I have recommended it many times to clients. It is the program I go back to when I lose motivation and steam. We grew up around tons of food; church socials, picnics, parties, groups and all the functions that go with being raised in a preacher's home...being a wife of one isn't much different! It is a hard lesson for some of us but worth learning that we can love and care for ourselves as well as others. If we don't care for ourselves, we won't be here to care for others!

Aspire to inspire before you expire.


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MABELOSER's Photo MABELOSER Posts: 41
3/6/13 9:34 A

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I can relate to you....I struggle with emotional eating, although I hesitate giving anyone advise because I'm not a good example, may I suggest a book for you? This book started me on the right path (again). The book is "Shrink Yourself" by Roger Gould about how to break free from emotional eating. Great book. I bought it on Amazon.

I too sometimes binge after great success' and wonder "why". If I have a social event to go to where I don't feel comfortable I sometimes binge first, it is crazy. But I am much more aware of this now and try to get in touch with my "feelings" about that situation. Allowing myself to feel what I'm covering up really helps. I'm also worried about my health now that I'm older. I do struggle with this issue. emoticon

I'm hopeful with sparkpeople support that I can lose weight and get healthier.


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BIRDY73 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/10/13 4:34 P

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Thank you. I need to know that--especially that there is hope that even I can recover. I have tried everything, even Overeaters Anonymous for 6 years, and I do often feel "broken." Sometimes what helps the most is just encouragement--hope. And I think this is a good forum for that. Thank you all for listening and offering support and hope. OOLALA53, I have just read a book which reinforces a lot of what you discussed about solitude and social intercourse, and I did identify with the profile of an introvert. Finding positive, creative activities to enjoy sounds like a great idea.

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 17,753
2/10/13 3:41 P

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Not sure this will change anything, but in psychology, it's recognized that people can have different temperaments, and one element of that is where you are on a continuum of either being energized or depleted by being with others. Many scientists, artists, musicians, etc., have a great need to spend a fair amount of alone time to develop their own talents and perspectives on things. If they are with very like-minded people, their need for aloneness may decrease. (Only about 25% of the population is like this and even then, they are to different degrees.) I know because I'm like this, though I'm on the cusp, so to speak. But I spend a lot of time alone outside of work, which taxes me terribly in this department.

Also, there is so much shame associated with eating for many of us (that is part of the eating disorder) that we develop a habit of eating certain foods while alone. They tend to be the foods that have been developed to override our natural appestat. So the habit gets reinforced.

I used to be a yoga teacher and I have to say that though I still love my old yoga friends, they are as obsessed with food as some of the worst cases of those with true eating disorders. Try not to get too caught up. Eat and be done with it.

All I can say is you CAN overcome this, but it will likely take effort, as overcoming unwanted habits usually does. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Just keep trying to expand your life, possibly developing talents you suspect you have but haven't pursued, or at least working on finding pleasurable or productive ways to. Try to have a plan for a specific task when you come home from such an event. Also experiment with eating supposedly forbidden foods in moderate portions in public. Hold on tight afterwards! The urge to overeat will be strong, but so what? You can still choose not to eat, even when urges are intense. (I was a binger for 38 years, until I made up my mind to resist those urges. Not giving in is my default now, but I do still overeat some. I just don't stress about it now.) And doing that over time will decrease the intensity, though it may get stronger before it gets weaker. And try not to read too much into it. It's just mostly a habit, and not an indictment of your character.

If I'm with a group that is not as likely to have junk foods, I promise myself to have an especially great meal later, though these days I eat sweets only in company. I might also have a mocha or even hot chocolate afterwards, but nothing to chew.

You're not alone, and you're not broken!

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
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SERENEART's Photo SERENEART Posts: 937
2/10/13 2:27 P

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I'm not to sure I can recommend anything either... I have done this before in the past as one of my types of binges... I don't recall having done it lately... in this particular scenario.. there are other scenarios..though.

*hugs* my thoughts are with you.

CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
2/10/13 1:56 P

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You're welcome. Not sure I can recommend anything to others (though I try to, at times!) because we are all different. But the things I mentioned do seem to have a positive effect for me.

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2/10/13 6:30 A

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Thank you both for your thoughts and suggestions. I will work on being more conscious of my food and my feelings. The good/bad girl syndrome is surely at work here, the idea of escaping rules. Being present in my own life is what you're recommending, right? And, Houndlover, I too love my dog, maybe too much, and I appreciate your support.

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CD12459382 Posts: 1,856
2/10/13 2:11 A

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I am in the middle of a yoga training that requires me to be away from home and in the company of fellow students all day long. I've done this type of thing before and I notice that there is a tendency in me to eat the healthy foods that I take along with me in front of the others and then go home and overeat or binge.

I think that in me, it has to do with some sort of resistance. Inside I sort of 'resent' 'having' to be 'so good', even though it is ME trying to conform to others not them asking / demanding it from me. In my head / experience it is still a demand that is made of me and the way my psyche works so far is to resist by overeating / eating 'undesired' foods. Like a naughty child resistinig discipline, perhaps by getting itself dirty when mom wants its clothes to stay clean on sunday, or by screaming and shouting when he's been asked to be quiet.

One thing I can say is that I have a feeling it's slowly getting better. I'm by no means binge free or no longer overeating but I do seem to notice some progress.

Factors:
- I try to be gentle and understanding with myself and LISTEN to my needs now instead of ignore / suppress them as often as I used to
- I am focusing on loving the healthy ways I now use, truly enjoying the taste and effect of healthy foods consciously - makes me more aware that I CHOOSE these foods not have them because I think some norm tells me to.
- visualizing myself chosing healthy options and seeing myself 'not overeat' in advance of such a day in my minds eye. When I remember, I have a moment in the morning or the day before and picture myself coming home feeling satisfied and enjoying the memory of the day rather than diving into the cupboard for extra foods.
- I also try to be as conscious of what I eat (and how I eat) as I can. It means that I go for a walk by myself on such a training day and sit apart from the others if I can while I eat. I do socialize but I try to focus on my food, the taste, and to eat slowly. When I do have company while I eat I still try to chew and taste well and be slow so that I KNOW I have been eating instead of gobbling it up unconciously. This because I suspect that if I don't really notice that I eat (am not 'present' to my food) I may also overeat later to still 'make up' for the lost realization of having eaten and enjoyed my food.



Edited by: CD12459382 at: 2/10/2013 (13:55)
HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,869
2/9/13 8:45 P

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I have found something that worked for me concerning this particular issue with binge eating but was not consciously aware of it for a long time, many years in fact. I find that when I feel like hiding from people (as all of us sometimes want to do) it helps me so much to have my animal friends. It could be a dog, a cat, a bird, a horse or even a rat or a rabbit or whatever appeals to you as long as you are prepared and interested to emotionally open yourself up to an animal for a lifelong friendship. Animals are very non-judgemental and affectionate, of course in part because they depend on us. They can give us the combination of companionship without the worries of negative feedback from other people. This is why so many people uses service animals nowadays. While many are trained to do specific tasks (I have trained some of those) others benefit their owners mainly as companions.
There are some people who don't have any natural affinity towards animals and they may do better with plants or maybe some volunteer activity that forces them to focus on other people.
Birgit

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.

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2/9/13 8:24 P

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I could have written that. I am very curious to hear responses.

Naomi a/k/a Nomi
from New York State
BIRDY73 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/9/13 7:45 P

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I just had a great lunch with some friends who then came back to my house for coffee and a chat. It was fun. The lunch I chose was good and it was a healthy choice of food. After my friends left, I went to the store and bought junk food and binged alone. I felt like I was "rewarding" myself for behaving well in front of them, like I was now able to hide in my house and eat what I really wanted. I think if we had not met, I would have stayed on track! Thinking back over the years I have regularly done things like this. Like whenever I travel I always gain weight by binging, eating only the worst possible choices I can find. I am no longer a young healthy woman and I want to stop eating food that makes me feel emotionally and physically sick, but sometimes, like today, I just do it anyway. Help.

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