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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
9/17/08 10:15 P

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REBECCA You are so sweet! Mercy me, I haven't seen the word "suitors" since I traded in my buggy whip for a Model T!
Lady Jo emoticon

I am going to sound like a broken record to some (another ancient reference!) but I learned the most about what healthy relationships were about from a book that I recommend constantly on DwD.
Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend helped me to understand for the first time that healthy people have limits in how they relate to others. You have to know where to draw the line, and how to respond appropriately to people who don't respect your boundary lines.
(There is some Christian content in this book, which is easy to work around for most people if you don't care for that. I only mention it for the people who trigger at such references and need to be aware of them.)
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
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9/17/08 10:23 A

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Crystal, I'm in a situation similar to yours, but I have different fears. I'm considering trying online dating because I haven't dated anyone since my husband and I split six years ago.

In addition to being afraid to bring up my medical condition (I am on disability due to my depression), I am confused as to whether I'm emotionally healthy enough to even have a romantic relationship.

I think this is something I need to explore with my therapist, because it's been on my mind for a long time and I believe it's preventing me from being available to any potential suitors.

Any thoughts, ideas, or comments would be appreciated.

Rebecca

DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
9/15/08 8:46 P

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CRYSTAL I actually faced this exact issue, so it was interesting to see it come up!
I met my DH online, and we met for coffee a couple of times and had long talks before we went out "on a date."
To the best of my memory, I don't believe that I told him about my mental health issues (I was also stable on meds at the time) until it was clear to me that the relationship had potential.
I didn't leave it for very long, because we realized fairly quickly that we had something special happening, and I wouldn't have wanted him to feel that he was being blindsided, but my opinion is that I don't see the point of sharing something that personal until I knew that we liked each other enough to go on more than a couple of dates.
Of course, I wasn't about to get intimate with a man right off the bat either, so I suppose if that happened for someone it might speed up the time table somewhat!
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
CRYSTALPISTOL2's Photo CRYSTALPISTOL2 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/14/08 9:30 P

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Thank you for all your help. emoticon




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DOWNEASTCAGUN's Photo DOWNEASTCAGUN Posts: 4,055
9/14/08 5:24 P

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CRYSTALPISTOL2

"emotionally healthy" is such a subjective term. There are a LOT of people out there who are "sane" only because noone has told them they are not. And a LOT of people PRETEND to be emotionally healthy because anything else would be unacceptable. (cause of the stigma, you know)

I'd say, If you get to the point to where you actually meet IRL (in real life), i'd say tell him that you have been diagnosed as suffering from depression but if you stay on your medication, its manageable.

Edited by: DOWNEASTCAGUN at: 9/14/2008 (17:22)
* "Take care. Take comfort. Take courage. Take control. Take JOY wherever you find it." (DEC)*
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." - George Carlin


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PINKYBEAR2's Photo PINKYBEAR2 Posts: 466
9/14/08 2:13 P

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emoticon emoticon sorry but i do not have the answer to your problem...i wish i could help!!!!

love and happiness. pinky


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KITTYF54's Photo KITTYF54 Posts: 7,845
9/14/08 2:00 P

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I wouldn't even bring it up unless you get to the point of actually meeting. Then you mention it. there's no point in making it an issue unless you and they are getting serious.

FWIW, kitty

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all they ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3:5-6


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9/14/08 1:11 P

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greetings and welcome... I have no specific suggestions about this issue but I want to welcome you.... blessings emoticon emoticon

Terri, Princess of the Terri-tory~~Sure is hard to be a princess around here. WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY *to be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection. Allow myself to find happiness in the only place that it can be found: my real messy, imperfect experience Anon + Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You” Dr. Seuss+ SorryTHX,Forgive,Love+
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9/14/08 12:26 P

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I am trying online dating. I was married and living with my ex for 14 years, separated while still married to my ex for 3 years (the divorce took that long) and I am finally single again.

One question I am struggling with is the question of emotional health. I suffer from Chronic Major Depression and as long as I am on my medication and attend therapy when needed, I am what I consider to be "Emotionally Healthy".

I want to be honest and tell the truth, but I also don't want to scare someone off.

Do you have any suggestions, as to how I should address this issue?

Emotionally Healthy...
I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy, and able to share a stable life with someone else.





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