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DRAGONFLYCUTE Posts: 2
9/24/08 9:22 A

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Hi everyone thank you so much for your help ans support!! I am hanging in here! I thought I had made it through the first month of school with my 15 yr old he has ADHD and well he doesn't want to take his medication I have tried everything with him from natural to pharmaceutical. WE have a meeting today at school. I don't blame him for not wanting to take meds that make him tired.
so this is all on me.... emoticon

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9/24/08 6:12 A

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I am not a parent so I can't advise you. You do have your hands full. I will pray for you.

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
9/22/08 9:36 P

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DRAGONFLYCUTE
On the good side of the ledger is that your 17-year-old is in college already. Good for him!
Is he spending much time doing work and reading materials?
I see a problem with limiting his computer access if he is in school, since he will need to be able to get materials and information for the course. That means that the real issue is with non-school use of the computer, and while monitoring it.
A job is a great idea, especially if things are tight financially. Being involved in school activities is another option. There is also always volunteer work, especially if it related to his area of study, which will add to his resume.
That way, rather than you restricting his computer use, he will have less time to be on the net.
As for the 15-year-old, I am guessing that he is in Grade 10. I have a rather straightforward but unusual thought. Have you asked him what is happening? Tell him that you noticed some changes, and wondered what was different in his life.
It may get you nowhere, but then again, it seems to me to be the first thing to try.
If you can do more listening and less talking in a conversation like that, you will find intriguing information that may help you to read between the lines.
Ask who he is hanging around with at school, and why he likes them. The more you know about the company he is keeping the better.
At some point, maybe in a separate conversation, see if he will tell you his opinions about smoking pot. A lot of kids think that marijuana is a "safe" drug, that they can't get addicted to it, and that they can shake it off and sober up in no time.
I would have to say that these teens attitudes are similar to what previous generations thought about beer as opposed to hard liquor.
I have been a single mom, and I know how hard it is to provide good food and discipline on your own.
Don't hesitate to take advantage of food banks and church assistance. The people that I met there treated me well, and did what they could to help us out.
Some communities also have organizations where you can buy a box of staple groceries at minimum cost every month. Ask the United Way or Salvation Army if they know of such a program, and if they didn't, who else you could call for help.
Bless you for taking in your niece. That shows a tender heart and generosity that is very admirable.
Take care of yourself too!
Jodi


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9/22/08 10:50 A

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welcome. As the other Spark person said, does your 17 have a job? At that age, both my girls had full time jobs. And 15 is a weird age for kids. They are going through puberty and often like to 'change' their image. At 15, he is also able to get a job. McDonalds take kids starting at 14. Good luck. Denise

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9/22/08 8:54 A

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Good morning to you first, you do have your hands full. It seems that you did the right thing in taking your niece in. Does the 17 old have a job? Take the computer from him until he starts to show you that he really wants to do something with life. It sounds that he might need some counseling. It could be that he holds alot of anger. The 15 year old today are totally different back in our days. You need to keep a close eye on him. If things start to get worse, get him into some counseling also. Good luck to you and you can e-mail me anytime. I will keep you in my Prayers. emoticon

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9/22/08 12:13 A

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Hello and welcome. It sounds as if you have your plate really full. It is very kind of you to help care for your niece. I'm sure that is best for her.

You will find much kind and caring support here. We are glad to have you.

Personally, I think the 17 year old needs a list of chores to do daily. No chores no food and no car.

A 15 showing recent erratic behavior should be observed carefully for signs of drug use. You can search his room for signs of drug paraphernalia. You can also get a home drug test kit and have him take it.
emoticon emoticon emoticon
sookmi

Edited by: SOOKMI at: 9/22/2008 (00:12)
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LINDA!'s Photo LINDA! Posts: 140,550
9/21/08 11:58 P

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It really sounds like you have your hands full. I am not a single parent. I don't have a lot of advice in that area. Watch out for the 15 year old. That is the age where kids often pick the wrong friends and get into things they shouldn't. I only throw this out because my youngest daughter did....it's tough enough raising teens without all the outside influences. Do you talk to a therapist? I go bi weekly and find that I can get good advice and also just feel better after talking with someone. So glad that you posted here. We are a supportive group and welcome you to talk to us anytime. emoticon

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DRAGONFLYCUTE Posts: 2
9/21/08 11:49 P

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Hi, I guess I am out here looking for help advise and thing I can get my hands on during this time. My sister's daughter is 8 and I am now taking care of her. And that is a long story ...story short she is in drug treatment and the dad is caring for the kids. He was struggling so I took her on being the best choice for her. I am just hoping I have made that true for her!!

Along with that I have my boys her 17 in college not motivated to do anything but play on the computer...he is very comfortable with me taking car of everything! Any suggestions???

Then I have a 15 yr old who is testing his boundaries. He is a great kid but I feel him slipping into something but Iam not sure what. He talks different and well is acting weird? Maybe just me but I have to give him some space. I remember those years! Mine were not easy so I try.

would love some help encouragement any thing!


I have been trying not to get depressed in all this I feel inadequate because I have not been able to supply as much food and stuff lately. When that happens I gain weight instantly! I have gained back about 5-8 pounds. So if any one has anything on gaining depression or just being a single parent I am open to suggestions.

Thanks

Thanks! emoticon

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