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DUSTYROSE1968's Photo DUSTYROSE1968 SparkPoints: (0)
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9/28/08 4:57 A

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You said that you broke up with your lover. There is no way to know that only you would know that. How do you think your lover feels? Normally the one that did the breaking up doesn't hurt as long as the one who didn't do the breaking up.
I really don't think we have enough info to make a good decision.

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Don't waste it,
Improve it.
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Retired and Loving It .•*´¨?-:¦:-
?-:¦:- )? ¸.•*¨) ?¸.•*¨)? -:¦:- Love is not finding someone to live with; it's finding someone you can't live without
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?-:¦:- )? ¸.•*¨) ?¸.•*¨)?
Make time to read, you


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9/26/08 11:40 P

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Jodi, that was nice.

Had a surgery in July. The weight has been creeping up on me since then. Think I was nervous about exercising. Not an excuse. Seriously was worried about damaging myself. Lost 100lbs back in 2009....20lbs back in past 3 1/2 months. Gotta get active....
DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
9/26/08 7:53 P

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ELAINE You wanted to know when it stops hurting.
The pain of losing an intimate relationship can be intense, and I am sure that you are grieving the loss. However, how long it takes to be completely over a lost love is so individual, no one can project for sure when you will feel a lot better.
What we can tell you is that it will get better, little by little.
There may be times when you start to feel more like yourself, and then something happens that sets you back. This is to be expected, and does not mean that you aren't improving in your ability to cope. It is just the nature of recovery. Sometimes it is two steps forward, one step back, but you will still be moving in the right direction.
My guess is, to be honest, that if she is not sure about the relationship, being together is not a good bet, so I think that you are better off assuming that it is over, and to begin to bandage up your wounds and take care of yourself.
Love will come around again when the time is right, but for now, concentrate on your own life, and be kind to yourself. Pamper yourself with non-food treats that you like, and take it easy -- the less stress you have, the better.
One day at a time is the way to go. Just get through today, and let tomorrow take care of itself.
Jodi


My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
IF-SO-GIRL's Photo IF-SO-GIRL SparkPoints: (0)
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9/25/08 10:38 P

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Sorry about your pain. It's never easy. Don't feel bad about crying it's better then holding it in.

Keep busy with friends and any family you might have around. Do you like to read? Get invloved in a good story to help take your mind off things.

Take a brisk walk when your really feeling your worse it might help to ease your pain. And then you have all of us to turn too. We are always here.

Dawn....From NY emoticon


"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." - Bob Hope

"Some people say that I must be a terrible person, but it's not true. I have the heart of a young boy in a jar on my desk."-Stephen King

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
- Janette Barber-



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9/25/08 8:10 P

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greetings and welcome ELAINEG6,
1. relationships are always difficult and challenging
2. and I know that you know that
3. you must take care of yourself in order to be in any relationship
4. I am not sure if you meant your lover had depression and/or you did.
5. BUT if you and/or your lover have to Deal with Depression...
6. then you are most certainly welcomed here!!!!

many blessings emoticon emoticon

Terri, Princess of the Terri-tory~~Sure is hard to be a princess around here. WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY *to be enlightened is to be without anxiety over imperfection. Allow myself to find happiness in the only place that it can be found: my real messy, imperfect experience Anon + Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You” Dr. Seuss+ SorryTHX,Forgive,Love+
SPARKLINGHOPE's Photo SPARKLINGHOPE Posts: 14,711
9/25/08 7:17 P

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Elaine please do join our team and we will try and support you!!

Becki
(IN - Eastern Time Zone)
FITBIT ONE

Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi
(1869 - 1948)


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ELAINEG6 Posts: 4
9/25/08 6:26 P

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Its just that the depression comes and goes i can go for about a week w/out a thought of her then all of a sudden shes back. I used to cry every night. I have begun seeking out old friends to help ease the pain its the nights that are sometimes the hardest. She is actually an adult who was molested as a child so she had some issues but I would be interested in joining your team. I do not have that issue though.

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9/25/08 6:19 P

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You can not put your life on hold while you wait for her to make a choice. You need to do what is best for you and not just hold on to a possible "return". If it is meant to be she will come around but meanwhile you need to move on in case things do not work out. The sooner you start to move on the easier and faster the pain will leave.

I co-lead a PRIVATE team for adult females of child sexual abuse. If you would be interested in joining our team please sparkmail me for an invite.

I co-lead losing weight and disabled

I co-lead Chronic Illnesses




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SPARKLINGHOPE's Photo SPARKLINGHOPE Posts: 14,711
9/25/08 6:15 P

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Blessings and I hope things will get better for you!

Becki
(IN - Eastern Time Zone)
FITBIT ONE

Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi
(1869 - 1948)


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ELAINEG6 Posts: 4
9/25/08 6:10 P

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I know it will it just hurts so much right now. She said about a month ago she couldn't tell me if we would never be together again because she still has feelings for me and she's also still mad. I just want her to make a decision so i can move on

LILITH0572 Posts: 3,743
9/25/08 5:59 P

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It does take time and Denise is right. Get out, do things, move forward a little at a time and it helps. emoticon

"Because Nice Matters" unknown

"To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain and play with it." Charlie Chaplin

"Reality is as individual as our fingerprints." T.Rhiannon Lee

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9/25/08 5:56 P

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Elaine, find something to do such as a hobby, reading. She'll soon wander from your mind. Is she living in your area? Make sure you avoid area's where you may bump into her. The pain will fade. I promise.

Had a surgery in July. The weight has been creeping up on me since then. Think I was nervous about exercising. Not an excuse. Seriously was worried about damaging myself. Lost 100lbs back in 2009....20lbs back in past 3 1/2 months. Gotta get active....
ELAINEG6 Posts: 4
9/25/08 5:48 P

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Hi Denise it was my first same sex relationship I was really nasty to her but I believe it was out of fear she didn't want a relationship and I did and I couldn't handle the time apart

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9/25/08 5:34 P

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When my husband was killed by a drunk driver, my minister assured me that little by little, I would stop hurting inside. Sure enough, it did stop ripping my insides apart but unfortunately, you will always have a spot in your heart for your boyfriend, especially if it's your first love. You didn't really say much about the relationship. Denise

Had a surgery in July. The weight has been creeping up on me since then. Think I was nervous about exercising. Not an excuse. Seriously was worried about damaging myself. Lost 100lbs back in 2009....20lbs back in past 3 1/2 months. Gotta get active....
ELAINEG6 Posts: 4
9/25/08 5:19 P

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Hi i'm new to this so not sure how to go about doing this. But I just broke up w/my lover in June and wanted to know if anyone could tell me when it stops hurting?

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