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SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
8/23/10 7:05 P

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Well two weeks ago Saturday I actually was HAPPY for once. I was able to get over $700 worth of glasses for $320 and I was just in a good mood. So WTF has to happen: This past week another client at my dayprogram dies of a seizure and complications. I didn't find out till Friday day then Friday night I found out my sister and her boyfriend broke up...which wouldn't be a big deal but my nephew is in the middle of it. He is only 3 1/2. Then I actually find out the details on Sunday. He owns the house so he threw them out. The breakup was on Thursday they had to get out by Sunday. And to top it all off he still wants to be my nephews father. So he can have all the fun of being a father w/o any of the responsibilities. Really P's me off. But they did make up as far as he apologized for the way it came about but they both agreed that this would be the end of it. For this is the THIRD time that he threw her out, twice after my nephew was born. I am fuming but my sister has forgiven him and so he is welcomed by the family. They don't want it to be a bad breakup if only for my nephews sake. Which I agree with but I still wish it hadn't happened. Now I am down and depressed even more so than before. Murphy's law hits again. Just when things are starting to go good WHAM it hits ya in the ***.

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SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
7/30/10 7:54 P

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Thank You, Jodi. I think I am going to try the pads first as they are probably cheaper, I hope.

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
7/29/10 8:49 P

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Gee, more incentive to lose the weight, as if we needed any more reasons, right?
I am sorry that they are so costly. I don't know what to say except that only you know what your financial priorities have to be, and I do know how often that means really tough decisions. I hope an unexpected $20 comes your way!
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
7/27/10 9:41 P

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Jodi,

Thank you. I hope that it is temporary. I found some depends online but they are so expensive: $20 for 12 for my size. Thats almost $2 for each. crazy.

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
7/27/10 5:29 P

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A lot of women have problems with incontinence at some point or another in their lives. For a while there, when I coughed or sneezed...well, you get the idea. I can understand why you feel embarassed, but really, it is just life.
If you have any trouble finding Depends in your size, pads are of some help.
It is possible that this may be a temporary problem, depending on the cause. I hope so.
Jodi


My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
7/22/10 9:35 P

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Thank you all for all of your support. Today I could really use it. I had a rough day. I saw two drs. one I am leaving in september and the other was a first time visit. Of course the one I am leaving is my PCP and I forgot to tell her about my bladder problem so of course I have an accident tonight at a softball game. I was lucky I had my sweatshirt to cover the car seat on the way home but it was totally embarressing. I can't even believe I am talking about it here. I just am so depressed. I talked to my mom and she suggested depends. Which I am going to have to see if they have any my size. This is soooooo degrading. But I gotta do what I gotta do. anyway I am really down right now. Its getting late so I gotta go.

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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
7/16/10 1:51 P

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AURORA I do understand that cutting is not about being suicidal. I am glad though that you haven't cut deeply because accidents do happen.
Yes, it is true that cutting won't necessarily result in hospitalization, but it is a serious symptom, because it is a tangible indicator of the amount of inner despair you are feeling. It may beat jumping off of a bridge (and true, it is better than that), but what you need are better coping skills that help you deal with your feelings without being self-destructive.
I have OCD, and I have found that the only way that I can quit acting out my compulsions is to replace them with another compulsion that is less harmful, or that even is positive, but that provides a similar outlet.
For instance, I have heard a number of people here say that getting a tattoo can take the place of cutting. I suppose it could even be used to help to cover up scars.
It is good that you feel comfortable with the new p-doc, and I hope that encourages you to feel hopeful about getting better.
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
adarkershadeofblue.wordpress.com/
My "dealing with issues" blog is:
motherhensnest.wordpress.com/

Former Senior Moderator abd Co-moderator of the Dealing with Depression SparkTeam
I am not a medical professional or a trained counselor. Please seek professional advice about treatment options.
JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
7/13/10 6:33 A

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Aurora - I'm glad you clicked with your new doctor. It's a good sign that you'll make some progress.

Please don't do anything to harm yourself. If that feeling comes on, go to the ER, call your doctor or post here on Spark. There's usually someone always around here to reply. margi. emoticon

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Michael's Mom
12/6/72 - 2/23/73

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,244)
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7/12/10 4:17 A

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AURORA,

I'm glad to see that you're feeling positive about the new doctor.

As to the things you've done and think about doing, I'd be dishonest if I said that I understand. But I can understand some of the feelings and share some of them, I'm sure.

There is support for you here in the team.

Laurie

LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


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SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
7/11/10 10:26 P

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My last appt w/ my old psychD was about 3 weeks ago maybe 4. I just had my appt with my new psychD this past friday. She seems cool and started out our first visit with the question: What makes a good doctor and what makes a bad doctor? I thought that pretty neat and innovative. I think I am going to like her. As for OD'ng, head banging and cutting not being a big deal compared to what I used to do their not, except for maybe OD'ng. You see I don't cut deep like some people though I do try. I can't seem to get myself to do it that deep. Anyway I've done alot worse things to myself: Stabbing & Jumping off a bridge to name a couple. So the above stuff is not really that big of a deal. My old psychD even said that cutting unless done severely is no reason for hospitalization.

I hope I am not offending anyone. I really appreciate all the support and hugs. I love my hugs. Thank you for the hugs. emoticon

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JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
5/2/10 8:22 A

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Welcome to Spark. I hope you'll take the advise of previous posts. At first, I didn't like my new doctor's scheduling. She only takes same day appts so there's no waiting weeks or months to get in. See if you could find an office like this.

We're glad you joined our group. Again, if you feel you're going to harm yourself, go the the emergency room. They will know how to help you and can sometimes help you get the appt you need.

We care about our team members so please let us know how you're doing. margi. emoticon

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margi
Michael's Mom
12/6/72 - 2/23/73

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
_____________________



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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,244)
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5/2/10 1:44 A

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Saying that wanting to OD or cut or bang your head doesn't seem like a big thing and that you're experiencing even more sends up flares. Thoughts of harming ourselves don't belong on the back burner. Please call your psychologist (or a supervising psychologist of the clinic if yours has already left) and/or primary doctor right away or go to the emergency room.

LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


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VXWALL1942's Photo VXWALL1942 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/1/10 11:18 P

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Please take care of yourself. Being lost and depressed is not a permanent condition. Tomorrow is another day! There is not advantage to harming yourself and I'm glad you came here to talk about things. If these feelings continue, contact the Crisis Hotline in your area. It should be listed in the front of your phone book. If you can't find it or don't get any relief then go to the emergency room. Medical care is what you are needing if talking is able to help right now.

As for your dr, see if your area hospital can give you someone else to consider changing to. You don't want to wait until August to see your PCP. Any PCP that is that busy isn't able to take good care of each patient and you deserve someone who you can get to know and who will hear and listen to your issues.

Ask your therapist who is taking her patients or who she recommends for you as she knows you well. Then you will have a name when going to new PCP to get a referral to a psychologist.

I hope my caring feelings and words are reaching you across the miles. (((( )))) Keep us informed on how you're doing and by all means post as often as you can. Someone will be around most any time.

vicki emoticon emoticon

vicki

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Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once. -Anonymous

If life is a bowl of cherries, what am I doing here in the pits? -Erma Bombeck


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SSHADOWSS Posts: 248
5/1/10 9:23 P

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I just found out yesterday that my psychologist of 12 years is leaving the clinic. I am going to change PCP'S and the doctor I am going to go to's office person said I have to call masshealth first before they will schedule an apt. Yet they aren't scheduling until August. I am on a lot of meds I can't go without them when my current PCP finds out that I am changing. I am changing cause she doesn't listen to me anymore. I have depression amongst other things and I really want to OD or cut or bang head. These don't seem like big things but they are not the only things. I am trying to get a job. I am exhausted all the time. Like right now I am virtually falling asleep.

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