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DWDMOTHERHEN's Photo DWDMOTHERHEN Posts: 6,889
5/27/10 9:33 P

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Being a caretaker is very stressful. Is there someone else who would hang out with your husband for a while so you can have some time by yourself out and about? You do need to take care of yourself so you can take care of him.
Jodi

My blog for women with depression is:
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EMMYSCOOKIE's Photo EMMYSCOOKIE SparkPoints: (0)
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5/27/10 7:40 P

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I appreciate all of your input. I realize this is a problem with ME, not my hubby. We've been married 47 years and I know he would do anything in the world for me but that is a 2 way street, I would do anything for him. Since he's become visually impaired, I feel an awful lot of responsibility. Even tho he does things that totally amaze me (like taking beautiful care of our 11 acres) I'm basically his care giver. He can see LARGE things, he can't see the dial on the washer, dryer, microwave, etc. As I said, the problem is with me, not him. I guess I'm just tired and need to get some downtime. Maybe tomorrow, after I grocery shop, I'll go upstairs to my sewing room and decompress.

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JIM1MICHAEL2's Photo JIM1MICHAEL2 Posts: 3,142
5/26/10 2:47 P

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Welcome to Spark, Vicky. I hope the tools and information on our website, plus the personal posts you receive from other team members, will get you to allow some 'me time' for yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't care for others.

Keep posting and let us know how it's going. margi. emoticon

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12/6/72 - 2/23/73

"See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way . . .
- Exodus 25:30

The guardian angels of life sometimes fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.
- Jean Paul Richter
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VXWALL1942's Photo VXWALL1942 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/26/10 11:05 A

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Welcome to the DWD Team, Vicky. You are in the right place for the support you want and need. Read and apply Nancy's advice. Taking time for you...without thought of guilt...is difficult but important. DH will adjust. I learned my husband actually enjoys cooking and I make sure he knows what is 'healthy' for the both of us and what is something I can only have in small amounts. You may be surprised to discover that your DH wants to help you feel better but doesn't really know how. Give him some pointers.

vicki emoticon

vicki

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NANCYLEE46's Photo NANCYLEE46 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/26/10 8:49 A

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Good Morning Vicky,

Sounds like a case of you being too hard on yourself. You do deserve a break, you are worth it. Have you discussed this with your husband and maybe asked his support in getting you to take a ME day??

Do you have to keep up with your husband? It is OK just to be Vicky. I used to always compare instead of just being who I was. It will take time but I think this is a great area to work on as a goal!! Putting Vicki first. Go ahead today schedule one thing you have wanted to do but have put off. Make a list of things you would like to do but feel you are held back by.

Have you tried journaling. Having it on paper may help you sort through why you don't do for you or maybe it has been so long since you have done for you that it will take awhile to get used to.

Nancy

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EMMYSCOOKIE's Photo EMMYSCOOKIE SparkPoints: (0)
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5/26/10 8:36 A

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I'm sick of self imposed responsibilities! How do I get over resenting fixing my husband dinner, doing his laundry, trying to keep up with him and his energy? I really do love him but sometimes I just want to spend a day doing my own thing, what I want - when I want! Even tho I know he wouldn't mind, how do I reconcile it in my own mind? ANY SUGGESTIONS WOULD BE MOST APPRECIATED

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