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JMORRIS85's Photo JMORRIS85 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/27/14 2:29 P

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Co-Leader of Fighting Depression with Movement http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
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Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.--Ivania Vanzant.

Life is short, live it; Love is rare, grab it; Anger is bad, let it go; Fear is a mind killer, face it; Memories are sweet, cherish them. www.atti-tude.com


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CUTEPUPPYMOM2's Photo CUTEPUPPYMOM2 SparkPoints: (1,423)
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10/26/14 10:09 A

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Thanks to all who replied. I really appreciate the ideas and support. I will definitely put some thought into the meditation (have not tried that in a number of years i must admit) and just trying to "go with his rules." I'm happy to say we ended up having a very nice day after all. Perhaps my just reaching out to this community and venting a bit was enough to help me get out of my funk. And, best of all, I stayed on track with my food and exercise. The more times i do this and make it through these bad days without binging, the more i am retraining my brain, which feels awesome!

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.


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MAJONES1225's Photo MAJONES1225 Posts: 6,855
10/25/14 10:47 P

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"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."


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MSGRANNYMAE's Photo MSGRANNYMAE SparkPoints: (317,618)
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10/25/14 2:47 P

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I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. -Maya Angelou
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. . things take time to change´┐Ż sometimes a lot of time. And the true test of a person's character lies in their endurance and attitude during the entire process. Rebekah Green
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Fearless Fuchsia, Biggest Loser: Fall 2015, Winter 2015, Spring 2016, Fall 2016!!!


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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (108,599)
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10/25/14 1:41 P

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Puppy Mom, I fully recognize that having someone with a disorder on premises makes tolerance especially difficult, but might you be able to shrug your shoulders, buy one pack of soda and, if it makes him happy, "allow" your husband to replenish his stock several times each week? In short, are you able to look the other way? The one-item rule -- or any other issue -- may be ridiculous to you, but it is significant to him. He'll be happier and, therefore, easier to live with if he satisfies the disorder's commands.

I say this, recalling the stories a friend told about her mother. One example: An economy-sized jar of mayonnaise that the father/husband thought a wise purchase sent the mother/wife into a tizzy. The solution was easy.

Has he gone undiagnosed and untreated because he sees no problem?

Edited by: SYLPHINPROGRESS at: 10/25/2014 (16:38)
LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


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MARCELLACHE's Photo MARCELLACHE Posts: 100
10/25/14 12:01 P

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Hello, cute.
I don't spend much time on Spark anymore, and even less replying to posts, but I was moved to reply to your request for ideas.
I was struck by your insight, focus and ability to articulate both. Awesome. I do not normally have full respect for social workers . . . most of them let their personal issues cloud their judgment when trying to assist clients (human, but sad in such a position) and burn out early, but continue to practice. You, however, seem to have highly developed your skills and practice what you have learned more rigorously - I suspect to the great benefit of your clients,
I wish we were personal friends, as I would surely benefit from being friends with someone of your skill set and ability to apply those skills.
Anyway . . . . to your question . . . you might consider developing two or three mood re-setting meditative tools. Can you think of any experience or incident, from childhood in which you felt happy, safe, secure, joyful? Think about that experience, starting from how it developed or arose and re-experience that feeling of happiness or joy or security . . . let the story play in your head until you are in the middle of it - not until the end. Give yourself a few minutes, several times a day, to replay that experience and absorb THOSE good feelings. It may take awhile to find an incident that works for you in this exercise. It may occur to you at some other time in some other context - if you happen to remember a powerfully felt positive memory, hang on to that, remember it, write it down it you need to, because that is perfect for this exercise. Best to develop 2 or 3 such memories or tools. When you find yourself in an unpleasant mood absorbed from someone else and you are ready to work your way out of it, pause and recall and re-experience one of your positive experiences. If one doesn't "work" or "catch", try another, Allow yourself the time to focus on this, like meditation. This may be a way to develop a personal tool to work yourself out of bad moods absorbed from others - a way to replace it with something positive - of your own - and let go of the someone else's negative.
Best wishes!!




CUTEPUPPYMOM2's Photo CUTEPUPPYMOM2 SparkPoints: (1,423)
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10/25/14 11:23 A

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I'm new to group and have only been active with SP for about 1 1/2 weeks. Doing well so far, meeting food and exercise goals. I have been treated for depression for about 12 years now and i do my best managing my mood. On meds which definitely help. Have done therapy in past, but not currently. My biggest struggle, which occurred again last night, is that I "absorb" the mood of those around me. My husband (who has undiagnosed/treated OCD) can be very challenging to live with due to his incessant need to "control" everything. In an effort to manage his own issues, he makes "rules" for himself regarding everything from what items to purchase at the supermarket to how things should be set up in our home. I am a very patient and understanding person with a lot of insight into people's "Issues" (I'm a licensed clinical social worker). I can tell you though, all of my experience and training goes right out the window when it comes to my own life.

OK, i digress..... so last night my DH had one of his little episodes in which he became angry because i had purchased two 6 packs of ginger ale (for him i might add) instead of one. (We have no children, so he only believes in buying the minimum necessary even if it means going to the supermarket four or five times in one week)....I stood up to him and told him he was being ridiculous. I wanted to binge, but instead quickly hopped on my treadmill and burned off all of my angry energy.

Here's my problem- I can NOT get out of this awful mood. I feel horrible today. He, of course, will have put the entire episode out of his mind and be fine today. Also, to top it off, it's his birthday today so i have to be extra nice to him. UGH. Looking for any tips on how others pull themselves out of this type of mood. I need to try to learn to stop absorbing the mood of those around me. emoticon

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.


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