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PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (628,972)
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11/4/16 10:24 P

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emoticon EKANOS and emoticon to SP's DwD Team...Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle.

I have to agree with our other team members to let the family know you won't be attending. Volunteering is always a great option, or plan a fun ME day where is all about you.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

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MSGRANNYMAE's Photo MSGRANNYMAE SparkPoints: (317,618)
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11/1/16 10:54 P

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I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it. -Maya Angelou

. . things take time to change´┐Ż sometimes a lot of time. And the true test of a person's character lies in their endurance and attitude during the entire process. Rebekah Green
Fearless Fuchsia, Biggest Loser: Fall 2015, Winter 2015, Spring 2016, Fall 2016!!!

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LAURIEBLT's Photo LAURIEBLT Posts: 2,280
11/1/16 9:48 P

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I agree! If simply saying, "I'm not coming this year" is not an option (even though you are an adult, I know it would be hard, I can imagine telling my mom (and I'm 52!) or my kids telling me), check out volunteer agencies. I would think hospitals, old folks homes, food banks/homeless shelters would all welcome your help. Tell your family that you will be giving of yourself on the actual holiday and then, if you feel you want to, schedule a visit with your parents when your brother isn't there. If you are financially able, take a vacation!!

I hope you are able to find a solution...

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CAROLJEAN64's Photo CAROLJEAN64 Posts: 13,494
11/1/16 9:27 P

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I know we all feel we must make excuses when we change traditions, but we don't have to. Just say you will not be coming this year. Check for volunteer options for the holidays. If you have a faith tradition, incorporate that into your plans.

Lost 65 lbs and maintained since 2006.

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EKANOS Posts: 12
11/1/16 6:45 P

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Hello there. I am a single 30 year old female who has been struggling with anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. I have always forced myself to spend the holidays with my family. However, I have been in therapy for a while and only recently started bringing a lot of very painful memories from my childhood. I am really not looking forward to spending the holidays with my family this year.

My family lives about 20 minutes away, but I get very anxious any time I know I am going to have to be around them. Last year, I discovered that my brother was neglecting his children, which prompted me to turn him in to Child Protective Services. My parents seemed to sweep it under the rug, which they always seem to do with situations regarding him. Furthermore, my brother molested me as a child, which I have only recently started working through in therapy, so seeing him at my parents' house is the last thing I want to do. I have not told my family that he did this nor have I ever told them about turning him into CPS.

So you see, it is very complicated. Can anyone offer suggestions on how to cope during the holidays? Can anyone give me suggestions on places to go/excuses?

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