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JNT2019's Photo JNT2019 SparkPoints: (314)
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1/7/20 5:04 A

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I really hate everything about myself and my insecurities go beyond anything anyone can imagine... I have massive trust issues that make my depression and anxiety even worse....

BEAUTIFULSHER's Photo BEAUTIFULSHER Posts: 425
11/9/19 9:00 P

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My self esteem is very low . Just can’t get out of the funk lately

THEEXERCISER's Photo THEEXERCISER Posts: 14,198
9/11/19 2:07 P

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Are there any team challenges for this topic? I think it would be great to have one!

Carrie


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PENNY-55's Photo PENNY-55 Posts: 1,691
4/6/19 2:22 P

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When I dance around the room , I feel better.

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FRANKIEKNIGHT3's Photo FRANKIEKNIGHT3 SparkPoints: (8,326)
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1/24/19 11:37 A

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Not be to hard on myself when I slip up.

New start New me


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NYX773's Photo NYX773 Posts: 366
10/22/18 2:07 P

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Eliminating mentally toxic people/media, daily reading of mottos and practice help me the most.

1) On my iphone, I play a game called "GOOD BLOCKS" by Samuramu.
It let's me practice/learn the difference between positive and negative talk (both internally to myself and aloud to other people).

2) Carefully choosing people to be around:
I eliminate (or at least minimize) exposure to toxic people.
I try to be around non-toxic people as much as possible.

3) I avoid most news and social media like the plague.

4) 1DAY-ATA-TIME: Thank you for the really great PDF booklet!
Every day, I try to read or re-read self-help articles and books.

5) I also re-read/practice being diplomatic and calm when I assert my rights.

This article has helped me a lot:
www.doctornerdlove.com/dump-toxic-friends/



It suggests using these phrases:
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“You’re not helping, you’re being insulting. Stop saying things like that to me or around me.”
“I don’t appreciate the way you treat me, now stop.”
“If I want your opinion about something, I’ll ask for it.”
“Don’t talk over me, I’m not done.”
“Don’t insult the things I like.”
“Stop bringing up those stories.”
“We’re done talking about this.”

Other phrases I use (or plan on using) are:
"If you don't have anything positive to say, please do not say anything at all"
"Jokes are funny to everyone. That was not good-natured teasing. That was rude/mean/bullying/cruel/shaming/insulting
"
"Cleverness does not make up for rudeness"
"Since you don't like it when people talk like this to you, then you shouldn't be talking like this to/about other people. In other words, if you can't take it, then don't dish it."
"You are not pretty when you make that face"
"Unsolicited advice is criticism"
"Unsolicited/unapproved help is meddling. Please do not help me/anyone without their permission because it often comes across as an insult to their abilities/beliefs/habits" and when they rebut state "Of course help people who are in immediate physical danger or if it is common courtesy like opening a door for someone who's hands are full"

Edited by: NYX773 at: 10/24/2018 (09:13)
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CD22890428 Posts: 1,314
5/4/18 9:27 P

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How can I improve my self-esteem when I am battered daily with comments meant to humiliate, degrade, and bash me? Everything I say is corrected nothing I do is good enough. I try my hardest to do what pleases him...but, I still get the verbal batterings.
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MONKEY1685's Photo MONKEY1685 SparkPoints: (61)
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5/2/18 12:25 A

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I can really relate to everything that everyone said- thank you:)

I can not work because of my depression and PTSD and this makes me feel so embarrassed.

I have lost over 70lbs in the past 4 years, but now I really want focus and take off the last 15-20lbs, and to stick to a consistent exercise routine for my health, weight and mood.

I decided in April that most of my low self esteem comes from comparing myself to people who are blessed with mental health and this really doesn't make much rational sense, plus it does not help me in any shape or form.

I have started giving myself credit for cleaning my house.......exercising.....going to the grocery store....socializing.....and when I am in the midst of a deep depression, just getting out of bed or taking a shower.

We all deserve to feel good about ourselves:)

Edited by: MONKEY1685 at: 5/2/2018 (00:26)
NANCYBALCONIS's Photo NANCYBALCONIS SparkPoints: (784)
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4/2/18 11:03 A

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losing weight is not an easy feat. so, losing 5BLS is excellent. GREAT JOB keep up the good work

CD22890428 Posts: 1,314
4/1/18 6:47 P

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My self-esteem has improved a little with losing 5lbs so far and getting good lab work reports.
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CD22890428 Posts: 1,314
3/13/18 12:13 A

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My self-esteem is at a low most all the time. I never feel like I am good-enough to be here most of the time. But, I get excited about photography and when my hubs likes my pictures. Really it is the only thing that gets me out of bed...I gotta get my sunset pictures taken.
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CHUNKYMONKEY570's Photo CHUNKYMONKEY570 Posts: 913
12/14/17 12:05 P

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I used to struggle with low self esteem. I have been better with that since i have been losing weight.

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LISA_WAS_HERE's Photo LISA_WAS_HERE Posts: 203
11/2/17 5:09 P

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I have low self esteem too due to living in a toxic environment. It seems I have too may negative people around me for too long and the only positive, happy person is my husband (excluding my kids because they depend on me not the other way). I feel bad relying on him to be happy ...I do let him have his moments too.
Its just hard I starting to realize things in my family that shouldn't be that way they are and I don't know what I can do now.
I have to accept what I can't change and change what I can. I am working on writing a diary and mediation to cope with the negativity.


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ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,786
9/14/17 8:23 A

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I have always been with low self-esteem and this is still a struggle.

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MSJENNIFERVT48's Photo MSJENNIFERVT48 Posts: 6,027
7/20/17 1:43 P

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Wow... I'm feeling overwhelmed.... But I will put one foot in front of the other... I MAY even go outside today.... What I want to do is to take off my shoes and feel the coolness of the grass.... That way I will feel---- there is more to this journey then what is bringing me down....

Peace- Jen

Ahead by A Century = Tragically Hip
youtu.be/QE2joQsWXJg

Miley Cyrus: The Climb
youtu.be/qolUC13bwMc



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FITNHAPPY4LIFE's Photo FITNHAPPY4LIFE Posts: 17
7/19/17 12:35 P

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Working on a more positive attitude about myself.

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MARIE2558's Photo MARIE2558 Posts: 102
7/5/17 10:11 A

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It's great to meet you too! We can do this!

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ANNMHAN's Photo ANNMHAN Posts: 441
6/30/17 8:21 P

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Thank you Marie! I thought I had come to terms with my issues from childhood, but something or someone will trigger it. It was really nice to meet you!!!

Ann Marie Hough
Eastern Nebraska
CST (Central)


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MARIE2558's Photo MARIE2558 Posts: 102
6/29/17 6:07 P

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Thanks for sharing, ANN!

I had my fourth counseling session this past Tuesday. It's going to be a long road and there's a lot to go through in terms of my childhood, parents, anger and so forth. Reading what you posted reminds me of myself - I'm my own worst critic and always have been. For some reason, I always feel like if I criticize myself first, nobody else has to say anything negative because I've beaten them to the punch so to speak. As you said, it's a major challenge...it's very difficult to unlearn what we've learned to do to ourselves for so long.

Although finding the positive in ourselves is hard to do, we just have to take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Good luck to you!

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ANNMHAN's Photo ANNMHAN Posts: 441
6/28/17 12:40 P

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My counselor asked me to find one attribute the l love about myself every day. (My "homework" until our next visit.) It is not as easy as it sounds. Others have told me what they love about me, but its not easy to hear it or accept it. She wants me to focus on how far I have come instead of focusing on all that needs to be changed. In other words, try to be positive. I have been so negative towards myself that this is a major challenge for me. Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day!

Ann Marie Hough
Eastern Nebraska
CST (Central)


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CD17841201 Posts: 22
5/24/17 3:01 P

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Hard for me as well especially if I'm really down. Brene brown has books and you tube videos my therapist and I are working on. They say loving yourself is a must but keeping it going is really hard

CD17846028 SparkPoints: (15,199)
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5/23/17 4:36 P

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Good advice from therapist. Speaking to myself as if I was a dear friend has been a difficult task for me to learn. Must practice this often.

PLATINUM755's Photo PLATINUM755 SparkPoints: (628,972)
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5/11/17 12:34 A

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Positive self-talk is a must. Words have POWER so build your positive mantras/find positive mantras you can use.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 25,548
5/7/17 7:41 P

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The therapist I'm seeing now said I should speak to myself as I would a very dear friend that I loved a lot. I've been trying to remember to be kind to myself. There is a quote that says, "Every time you judge yourself, you break your own heart."

I wish you all the very best.
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Miller

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not." - unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, & the person you decide to be."~unknown


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IAMAGEMLOVER's Photo IAMAGEMLOVER Posts: 48,568
5/7/17 1:04 P

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Hi. I wish I could remember the exact quote that someone wrote but the gist was anger is like a ball of fire, it will burn you. It is true because the people you are angry at obviously don't really care, so the only one you are hurting is yourself. I understand totally that you will not be able to forget it but you can let it go.

I do remember this though, my priest told my at my Dad's funeral, "God doesn't make junk." "He made us in his image" I also have a couple at the bottom of my ticker. emoticon

I love SparkPeople

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

My name is Bonnie I live in CT DST

I went from 258 to 126 pounds and have maintained it since 12/28/12.

Too Blessed to be Stressed.






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JRBMOMMY3's Photo JRBMOMMY3 SparkPoints: (13,988)
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5/7/17 8:33 A

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Got it. thank you.

1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 34,218
5/7/17 8:19 A

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I've had issues with self esteem for many years and occasionally struggle. I understand some of the struggles you're going through. I did a lot of self improvement activities with the help of a counselor/coach to assist me with improving my self esteem. While SparkPeople doesn't have a challenge for self esteem, I've include a link to a small booklet which could be used for daily activities. I wish you the best on your journey.

www.mind.org.uk/media/715750
/how-to-in
crease-your-self-esteem-2013
.pdf


Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
PRIYA_MISHRA's Photo PRIYA_MISHRA Posts: 256
5/7/17 7:42 A

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have a strong mind, faith in myself, and a gentle heart. I have got to rid the anger of the people who hurt me too. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you have put it so nicely, These are my thoughts as well. Thank you and all the best to you.

"I came to this earth so that I can
find a way back to my beloved."
~Rumi
LAURIEBLT's Photo LAURIEBLT Posts: 2,280
5/6/17 10:31 P

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Make one good choice tomorrow (4 glasses of water), make two good choices the next day (5 glasses of water)...progress...you should be proud of yourself!! Baby baby baby steps...you will succeed!

sw 2/28/06 164



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JRBMOMMY3's Photo JRBMOMMY3 SparkPoints: (13,988)
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5/6/17 9:28 P

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There is no challenge on Spark People that I can find for self-esteem. I have been trying to lose weight and get healthier for 40 days, I neglected my self-esteem and self-worth. Today, is day one. I am going to get back knowing that I have a strong mind, faith in myself, and a gentle heart. I have got to rid the anger of the people who hurt me too.

Day one. Self-critic my negative thoughts of myself.

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