HEDSTS58
350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 482,474
SparkPoints
 
Photos
See this image larger



See this image larger



See this image larger
Sunrise February 2019


SparkGoodies
go to goodies page
Fortune Cookie
From:
SHARON10002
go to goodies page
Thank You Card
From:
SHARON10002
go to goodies page
Happy Face
From:
SHARON10002
Awards

 
Interact with HEDSTS58
Add as SparkFriend Send Private Message Leave Comment




Shown if member clicks "Read More"








(Shown after Message Board Posts)
Add a Link
Save Changes
Current Status:
Blogs
This user doesn't have any public blog entries.
My Ticker:
 Pounds lost: 29.0 
0
11.25
22.5
33.75
45
Login to Leave Comment
Comments
  • v SHARON10002
    J emoticon U emoticon S emoticon T
    F emoticon O emoticon R
    G emoticon I emoticon G emoticon G emoticon L emoticon E emoticon S

    Happy Friday! It's the beginning of a long holiday weekend, and one we as Americans love to celebrate - Independence Day. It is sad that this term is now used infrequently. Why not remind others what the celebration is all about? People have forgotten what 4th of July really is about. It's not just another day for cookouts, fun, and fireworks. Our July 4th commemorates what our ancestors fought for, and the freedom(s) that we have, and use everyday. It's not fireworks and parties. That's just what makes it fun. Wish all your friends and family "A Happy Independence Day", and help them remember, too!

    I'm hoping I can fire up your enthusiasm for some holiday fun with these hot jokes. I hope you'll get a real bang out of them!

    emoticon What kind of tea did the American colonists want?
    Liberty!

    emoticon Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?
    It cracked me up!

    emoticon A battery and a firework were arrested.
    They charged one, and let the other one off.

    emoticon Which colonists told the most jokes?
    Punsylvanians!

    emoticon What's red, white, and blue and likes to wave?
    The American flag.

    This one will crack you up. . .
    emoticon How come there are no knock knock jokes about America?
    Because freedom rings!

    emoticon Why did the colonial doctor give America a clean bill of health?
    It had a good, strong constitution.

    emoticon What did the little firecracker say to the big firework?
    Hi Pop!

    emoticon What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a very classy, curly-haired dog?
    A Yankee Poodle Dandy.

    I hope you didn't find any of these jokes to be flame-outs or real duds!
    Enjoy your weekend and keep freedom ringing! emoticon
    4 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
    J emoticon U emoticon S emoticon T
    F emoticon O emoticon R
    G emoticon I emoticon G emoticon G emoticon L emoticon E emoticon S

    It's Friday already! This week has really flown by, and we are rounding the corner heading into July and summer will get into full swing! So to celebrate the end of the first week of summer here is an assortment of jokes to start your day, and weekend, off with a giggle or two.

    I stayed up all night on the Summer solstice and wondered where the sun went.
    Then it dawned on me.

    What holds the sun up in the sky?
    Sunbeams.

    What does the sun drink out of?
    Sunglasses, of course.

    Why do bananas wear sunscreen at the beach?
    So they don't peel.

    What do you call a frenchman who wears summer beach sandals?
    Phillippe Phloppe

    Why do robots take summer vacations?
    To recharge their batteries.

    What does a bee do when he gets hot?
    Takes of his yellow jacket.

    How do bees get to summer school?
    They ride the school buzz.

    Why is it good to go to a baseball game on a hot day?
    Because there are lots of fans.

    Thanks so much for dropping by to say Hi, and leaving your note!
    Enjoy your Friday, and have a wonderful weekend!
    11 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
    J emoticon U emoticon S emoticon T
    F emoticon O emoticon R
    G emoticon I emoticon G emoticon G emoticon L emoticon E emoticon S

    There's a big difference between bad jokes and dad jokes.
    It's the first letter.

    Classic Dadisms:

    Measure once, cut twice. Measure twice, cut once.

    Don't make me stop this car!

    If all your friends decided to jump off a bridge would you do it too?

    Shut the door! I know you weren't born in a barn!

    Righty tighty; lefty loosey.

    Your mother is right even when she's wrong.

    Go ask your mother.

    Do you think I'm made of money?

    You're going to like it, wheteher you like it or not.

    Don't speed!

    Don't forget to change the oil.

    And finally . . .

    Dear Dad,

    $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

    Love,
    Your $on


    Here's the father's reply to the above:

    Dear Son,

    I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

    Dad


    What was your dad's favorite "ism"? Please share it with the rest of us in the comments section.

    Enjoy your weekend!
    18 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
    J emoticon U emoticon S emoticon T
    F emoticon O emoticon R
    G emoticon I emoticon G emoticon G emoticon L emoticon E emoticon S

    Happy Friday! I've been up since the quack of dawn searching for the best giggles I could find to drive you quackers this morning. I think I found a few that will fit the bill. I hope you enjoy these, and at least one of them will quack you up.

    So here goes . . . I'll take a quack at it!

    A couple goes out for a meal at a Chinese restaurant, and the husband decides to order the dinner for two, "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast-iron pot.

    Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

    "Hey, did you see that?!" she asks her husband.

    He didn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and once again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

    Sputtering in a fit of anger, he yells for the waiter, describes what is happening, and demands an explanation.

    "Please sir," says the waiter, "what did you order?"

    The husband replies, "The Chicken Surprise."

    "Ah... so sorry.", says the waiter. "I bring you Peeking Duck."

    ****************************************
    ******************

    What do you call a clever duck?
    A wise quaker.

    What do you call a duck that's a theif?
    A robber ducky.

    What do you get if you cross 2 ducks and a cow?
    Quackers and milk.

    Where does a sick duck go to feel better?
    To the duck-tor.

    And if he can't pay, the duck-tor just sends him the bill.

    OK, okay . . . I'll stop quacking jokes about ducks now.

    Enjoy your weekend!
    25 days ago
  • v SHARON10002
    J emoticon U emoticon S emoticon T
    F emoticon O emoticon R
    G emoticon I emoticon G emoticon G emoticon L emoticon E emoticon S

    Happy Friday!! I noticed when looking at the grocery ads that June is designated as National Dairy Month. I thought it might be appropriate to start off the month with some milk jokes. I'll apolgize right now, because a couple of these are utterly ridiculous!

    Where do astronauts get their milk?
    From the Milky Way.

    What kind of milk comes from a pampered cow?
    Spoiled milk.

    I bought a can of evaporated milk, but when I opened it - it was empty.

    What kind of milk do yo get from a brown cow?
    Chocolate milk.

    What do you call a cow that won't give milk?
    A milk dud.

    What kind of milk do you get from a forgetful cow?
    Milk of Amnesia.

    I hope these jokes weren't too sour for you.

    Have a wonderful Friday, and a wonderful weekend!
    32 days ago
Member Comments (327):  123Next >Last >>