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September 2012 at 165 goal

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Me (at 279) and my three amazing kids...James age 9, Samuel age 21 months and Kaleigh age 15 1/2

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TRACYNOTGIVINUP is a SparkPeople Motivator!

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Hello Everyone, my name is Tracy. I have been having a hard time for the past several months now. Here are some of my numbers to try to shorten my description:

Joined SP in July 286 pounds.
In September of 2012, I hit my goal weight of 165 pounds.
In April of 2012 I began running and loved it.
In July of 2012, I ran from start to finish my first 5K. I still loved it.
In December of 2012, I ran each day for a total of 100 miles.
In April of 2013, I began wondering what I was aiming for. I had a hard time keeping my weight in check and wasn't looking forward to my running anymore.

Since then I have been struggling. I have gained about 30 pounds back. I am very unhappy with myself and seem to keep grasping on different things to try to find my lifestyle, but thus far nothing has worked. I have tried running again, but am still finding it feeling like a chore, probably because I am looking at it as a job/chore and I am mad at myself that I am not in the shape I was just a year ago. After months of doing this, I made some new years resolutions, figuring that had to work. I feel like I MUST know what I need to do. But they came crashing down around day 10. I suppose I should note here, I am a food addict and I am pretty sure I suffer from binge eating disorder. I have been thinking for days, I decided that the time I was happiest was when I was active on Spark. I believe it is because I always searched myself and came up with goals and plans to achieve them. I need to do something to keep myself in check. So, here I am back sparking. I also searched my thoughts about starting a new name or coming back to this one. It is kinda shameful to look at what I had done on this old name and feel like I let others but mostly myself down. But then decided that this is what I need to do, go back to this girl who lost the weight, who found the motivation and determination to follow through with making goals and setting plans. I decided it was truly time to live up to my name on spark.....


Member Since: 7/8/2011

Fitness Minutes: 40,738

My Goals:
Get back to my goal weight range of 163-168 pounds.

Find my love for running again.

Run a half marathon.

Get smaller and leaner, not skinny.

My Program:
Eat in my calorie range

Weight lifting 3x a week

Running/cardio 3x a week

Learn that it doesn't have to be all or nothing

Personal Information:
My name is Tracy.

I am 40 years old.

I live in Connecticut, USA.

I am married to my high school sweetheart, have been for 17 years.

I have 3 AMAZING children, Kaleigh, 18, James, 13 and Samuel 4 years.

Other Information:
I love:

my family
my friends
my new home
Big Bang Theory
UConn Huskies men basketball

Read More About TRACYNOTGIVINUP - Profile Information moved here. (Updated January 19)

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 current weight: 190.0 
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  • v BBORDEN86
    Ha! I never thought to look at Whole30 stuff on pinterest. You're a genius, and what great ideas. Going to gather more information, and I might give it a whirl. :)
    2678 days ago
  • v BBORDEN86
    I keep going back and forth with wanting to try it. For the most part I think I can... it's just a mental thing. Just thinking about all the crap that is currently in our house that would go to waste by being on the plan makes me freak a little bit. While also realizing how much better I could be eating! I know it would totally be worth it, I just don't know where to start. *sigh* I just wish I could skip to where I was before... of course it's all my mentality. Haha, I just need to do SOMETHING.
    2678 days ago
    Hi I had a really good day. Taking 2 days off was the right choice. I actually slept through the night last night. I don't remember the last time I did not wake up 2 or 3 times during the night. Had a high energy active long work out this morning. Feeling much better today than last week. I ate on the high side today but I also burned a lot of calories during my workout. Tomorrow is a short work out. I am sorry you had a bad day yesterday. Hopefully you had a better day today.
    We are supposed to get some snow tomorrow I hope it is only a little. I am getting tired and will probably go to bed early.
    2678 days ago
    Hi! I have a few minutes before I need to start cooking, I have all my prep work done and just need to cook the steaks and cauliflower. The cauliflower is being baked at 450 degrees and then mixed with orange zest and scallions. I did put together a green salad with more scallions and carrots. I will be doing the steak on the stove because we decided it was too cold to pull out the grill and fire it up. We are still being told we are getting snow on Tuesday, but only about an inch. I got my pansies planted and I may cover them on Monday night. I spent a little more than an hour working in the yard. I could have spent another hour but I need to not be tired tonight. My legs are definitely feeling better today. Stopping all the walking was a good choice. Tomorrow I will see if I have a better gym workout.
    I think it is great that you are letting your daughter have ownership of her diet. She will likely make a greater effort to stay on it if she sees it as hers.
    You have so much more energy than I do. I really need to put in some major work getting my house in order. Its funny, I like working outside but I don't like cleaning the house. I get overwhelmed with all the clutter and there is no end to having stuff all over the place. I keep telling myself that it will be better when DD2 is out of the house but I do get tired of being the only pick up person in the house. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
    2679 days ago
    Hi! It is almost 8:30 and we just got back from dinner. I got some of the garden work done yesterday but did not have time to go and get the pansies. We all enjoyed the play. It was done in an intimate theatre in Baltimore and we were 6 rows back. They put the play in the 1930's which was a little strange since they used fake English accents and a lot of the actors did not articulate very well. Now I want to read the play to see what I missed. Dinner was at a Spanish Restaurant. I had suckling pig with a beans side dish. It was a really expensive restaurant for us so we did not order any appetizers or side dishes. The Pig was really good but I missed my vegetables. I ate about half my portion because I was full and I don't like eating a lot of meat without greens to wash it down. I had one slice of bread and butter (they brought us a whole loaf of bread for 4 people). They also brought us a plate of potato puffs for free since we did not order appetizers and my DD and DH were sharing a Paella which takes 25 minutes to cook. Potato Puffs seem to be thinly sliced potatoes that are deep fried so that they puff up into banana shapes with air inside. I had one and it was tasty but I was able to say no to seconds. I liked my pork (one of my favorite meats but would have enjoyed either the Paella or my MIL's Salmon more since they both had veggies. The Salmon came with green beans and asparagus as well as a small boiled potato. I would have liked those sides with my pork. Oh well. I only got 3250 steps in today but at least my legs don't feel tired.
    Tomorrow we go to church followed by a pancake breakfast if DD wakes up in time to go to early mass. I hope to go buy the pansies and plant them. Dinner will be steak and orange roasted cauliflower. Probably with a salad as well because I am feeling veggie deprived.
    I assume you are watching your game right now so enjoy it.
    2680 days ago
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