checking in

Thursday, March 13, 2008

no not to the mental hospital, which maybe I need the rest??? lol Yesterday was a horrible day. That's it, horrible. I allowed my ex to have control over how I felt and I plummetted into some serious depression. My eyes are puffy today, but I can also look back on yesterday as a learning experience. I didn't binge. I actually tracked my food from yesterday this morning. I did okay - though I obviously gravitate to the carbs when upset. I talked to my mom for awhile last night, and even if some of the things she said aggrevated me, I think the aggrevation lies in the fact that I know what she said was true. I gave my ex too much power. The world isn't over as I know it. Things will get better. I have to avoid the victim role. I have to stop feeling like I am the only one this happens too. Life isn't fair... I could go on. I know all this stuff too, its not like I haven't told myself all of it at one time or another. I told her that I just wanted to feel bad for awhile. Then it dawned on me.... WHY? What purpose does feeling sorry for myself serve? How does it change anything? It doesn't. If I wallow in self pity or stay angry, I will not move forward. I will not see anything get better. So, even though I sit here, very tired, puffy eyes and a slight feeling of overall saddness, I will not let it bring me down. I will push forward, run my errands, check the jobsite, read a little, write a little, and enjoy my time with my kids. That is my Thursday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    hey ladies,

    I can relate to what some of what e few of you are saying! my ex was and probably always will be a professional victim. if you are able to recognize ,be it on your own or from anothers opinion, that playing the victim isn't beneficial to you or anyone around you, you're on the right track. my ex's mother enabled her and i was the scape goat, needless to say it ruined my marriage. Which at the time devastated me. From this i learned that staying positive can really be a challenge ,being negative can be really easy, always take the path less traveled(the high road) and you will be rewarded. keep doing right long enough and not only will ex in laws(and ex's) leave you alone, but you will have peace of mind.
    4797 days ago
    You have the right attitude. Sometimes you just need to check the baggage and enjoy the good things in your life. Only give power to those that deserve your time and energy. You are a strong woman and have accomplished so much on you own, keep it up and alaways be true to yourself!
    4798 days ago
    I totally understand how you feel! My soon-to-be-ex-husband's mother tore my head off the other night. She said some cruel things and I can't seem to shake them off. Nice things is I hae lost 2 more lbs from the stress and being nauseated by it all:) I know I need to just forgive and forget but isn't that so much easier said than done? Keep your head up and I will try to do the same!

    4805 days ago
    I am behind you in spirit Beth. Hang in there. Everything you said is true and you will be fine again. You handled your Thursday great. Be proud, hug your kids, check out the sunshine, look for a robin! A new day is coming!
    4807 days ago
  • KAREN8241
    I'm new here but I just wanted to send a note of support and tell you that I think you are handling your bad day really well. You didn't allow it to send you into a binge, and that's fantastic! I know tomorrow will be a better day for you. Hang in there!
    4808 days ago
    Life ISN'T fair, BUT - God is just!! The mills of the gods grind slow, but they grind fine!
    Sorry to drag out the cliches, but sometimes they mean something.
    Connie is right - we give away power when we let people make us feel bad.
    But you are strong, and will come out on the other side of this even stroger for going thru it.
    By the way, thanks for "friending" me! Now, Keep Moving Forward!!
    "Let it go,
    let it roll right off your shoulder
    don't you know
    that the hardest part is over. . . "
    4808 days ago
    Hi Beth - Why do we let other people have so much control over how we feel & what we do? My ex just about destroyed me with all the crap he pulled. I wallowed in self pity (& lots of cake & ice cream) for a while, then I told myself to snap out of it & get HAPPY! I'm the only person who can make myself happy, sad, depressed,'s all up to me!! You're absolutely right about getting yourself out of that victim mentality. We can never control what another person decides to do or say, even our own spouses (hey just look at Eliot Spitzer's wife!). But, we CAN & MUST control how we let it affect us. The people who've treated us badly have all the power as we keep suffering. Guess that's why someone came up with the saying "Happiness is the best revenge." Your attitude is great...put one foot in front of the other, "act as if" you're happy & before you know it you WILL be happy. If I can do it, you can do it! Your friend - Connie :-)
    4808 days ago
  • SONJA14
    Good for you! Don't let circumstances get you down. And you did great tracking your food. If you can, get some exercise. It will help to improve your mood. Good job! ~ Sonja
    4808 days ago
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