Thursday, April 10, 2008
I just learned the "reason" my friends "dropped" me. Apparently I had "started" stalking! Never mind the fact that overnight they stopped coming by. When asked, they denied anything. The only time I heard from them was when I called. So I called less and less until I decided to tell Joel that I wasn't going to "bother" him anymore. I wanted to be sure I was doing the right thing. That they were not just busy and had overlooked me. I did not want to just stop calling. To tell him this, I had to ask him to stop by before he went to his parents. He did, but late, so he was impatient to get away. When I tried to explain what I was doing, he started defending himself like I was accusing him of something. I only got two words out before he started. He did not want to listen. I decided he really didn't want to hear it. It was just one more thing to prove he didn't want anything to do with me. So, I told him something that would give him an out. I told him my feelings for him were very strong, that I was afraid that I was going to turn into a stalker if I kept on the way I was going. And I watched them leave. Never saw them again. They really have no idea what a stalker is if they accuse me of being one. It is just an excuse. They just wanted away from me. Instead of helping me when I needed them, they abandoned me. I was depressed. That means I was no fun. A wet blanket on their parade. So, I guess they weren't really my friends after all.