The Mental Diagnoses

Friday, June 13, 2008

And the list of mental illnesses reads about as long as the physical.

Seasonal Affective Disorder: Yup just the thing to have in NE Ohio, land of gray skies and long winters. Can actually tell you the day it starts in late fall and ends in the Spring.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Major Depression (can cause bouts of suicidal thoughts when I feel overwhelmed)

Panic Disorder, Claustrophobia, Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD), personality disorder : Originated as a result of much childhood abuse and trauma. Struggle with low self esteem, fears. Best way to describe my personality disorder (old name was multiple personalities) is if you were to take a piece of paper and make some tears in it, but don't go all the way to the bottom. Unlike multiple personalities which would have torn the paper all the way down (remember Sybil and Three Faces of Eve which involved each personality might have different names, you may not know which personality is in charge, etc.). With mine it is not as severe. The personalities are all parts of me, they don't have different names. A therapist has helped me combine all these voices in my head into just a few main categories (child-holds pain, teenager-holds anger, adult-who I tease actually shows up once in awhile, wise old woman). I have been told that on the rare occasion when I revert to pre-consolidation and one of these comes out my whole appearance and voice changes (and I have seen the differences in my handwriting also).

Toss lightly and add a touch of agoraphobia, along with a sprinkle of OCD (it is hard for me to make transitions/changes) and we're off to the races!

I see a therapist twice a week, I attend group once a week at a Time for Change.

I was on Lexapro and Lamictal which were discontinued after liver/kidney issues came to light. This explains the intensive time in therapy to keep me afloat and functioning because I am doing it "med free".

I put this post out there because I count it as my little contribution to try to make mental illness less threatening and to try and take away some of the stigma people with mental illness sometimes face. I also want to make sure people don't equate mental illness with mental retardation. Two different animals. Or as I like to say, I may be dumb, but I ain't stupid! I have an Associate of Arts and Bachelor of Arts, and I raised two lovely children as a single parent (was married 14 years, divorced a lot more).
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Debbi, I want to hop in the car and drive until I find you to give you a big hug and not let go. Love you, Helen
    4316 days ago
    Debbi, It truly is YOU who inspire me. I just now read this blog and am on my way to read the rest of your blogs. I was aware of some of your medical issues, and now that I have read more of the details, you are the success story every day you wake up in the morning. I silently, and stupidly, kept my awe of your achievements to myself, and I now leave behind that silence to tell you how honored I am that you are my teammate and friend. Your posts often bring joy, comfort, support, and encouragement to my days, and you always have a huge place in my heart. Some days I question how I can keep going, and then I read something you posted. Thank you for always nudging me back on track with your insight and love and posts. Your friend always, Janet Big Smoochies to you, in your words. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4434 days ago
    Darn, I lost my whole comment trying to get the spelling of agoraphobia which is part of the depressive side of my bi polar. I have lived in Connecticut, Rhode Island, but the SAD made me suicidal by February. We took 3 of our 5 children and moved to Florida. One stayed with his wife in Rhode Island. One wanted to be in the popular music industry, rock star, and moved to Hollywood area.
    Of the 3 that came with us, one died, second moved to Chicago to be with his wife's family. And the youngest was lured by her older brother to come to California. Because all our children were gone, we moved to California.
    I am bi polar and have 3 distinct personalities. Manic, normal, and depressive and shades in between.
    Because I have no control of the personalities, I am unable to hold down a job.
    I lost the last one for trying to attack my boss. I get disability and medicare.
    I have a medical doctor and a psychiatrist but mainly I on my own. I worked my way through child abuse issues when I was in my 20's. I'm now 60.
    I have 3 bi polar spark teams and only one diabetic because I don't want to lose it.
    4444 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    I just read this, debbi. I am so very sorry you are suffering with these illnesses. It also might be good therapy for you to post it like you did.
    Take good care and Happy Holidays.

    4513 days ago
    Wow that is a list..and anyone thinking that people who have mental disorders are retarded need to read up and educate themselves. But thanks for setting it straight all the same. That is one hectic schedule sp friend, how do you do it all and still have time to sing....phew. But I hope you are feeling well today and having the best day possible.
    4579 days ago
    LOL That's ok, I HAVE THE POWER! Tossed a little hand granade at one of the posts and poof, it disrepeared (old family joke word) !
    Regarding the Debbi (no e, no y) this came because I have always spelled my name Debbi. My mom liked to tease me and always spelled it Debbie and my sister chimed in by always spelling it Debby. I would always correct them (hence the no e, no y). Gotta love 'em.
    4709 days ago
    Oh NO! The cursed double post! I've never had it happen, but I've seen it in other people's posts. Better get ahold of the HELP desk!

    4709 days ago
    DEBBI- no I, no Y-

    So we have more in common besides the kidney-liver duo! I am also sans drugs- choices are pretty limited when both organs are dysfunctioning/diseased. I have the SAD, the GAD, and the MDD.

    You are so blessed to be able to participate in your groups and sessions, and even recreational stuff! Nothing like that available in these parts. Question- Do you sometimes feel like your life revolves around your physical & mental diseases? OR- do you, indeed become/associate with the illnesses? Especially since so much of your time is spent with professionals, working on your challenges and past issues. You must have been very traumatized early on. My heart goes out to you.

    Thank you for sharing the parts of you that fit together like a puzzle. You are a remarkable person, very bright, and exuberant. I always receive positive, happy vibes from you, although I know you have your terrible,horrible,no good,very bad days like everybody else. I think your faith testifies to the power of the Holy Spirit.

    I will read your medical diagnoses blog later. Thank you so much for opening up and I think you will be a great addition to the team. In other need to post often!!!

    Hogs & Kudos,
    Sandy emoticon
    4709 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/13/2008 11:05:51 PM
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