SHANSHE
1-99 SparkPoints 8
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Ugggh & Ugggh Again

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Ok, today I am just TRYING to quit thinking... Not doing well on that, but oh well... I think once Monday gets here and "the" conversation takes place, I will be just fine.

My pastor's daughter is getting married this afternoon and I went to my aunt's house and found something decent to wear. I may still look fat, cause I am, but I will look halfway decent in my clothes.

I feel so tired. sleepy, hungry and sick to my stomach. I have alot of "should do's" swirling in my head, but probably will not do any of them.

I have had my shower, will probably fix my hair and make-up in a little while - adjust my bra to LIFT the girls... Praying Iwill not be hot and sweaty in the clothes I will be wearing...

Ummm, my goal with spending time with God this week, well I have tried, but I have not been very successful at focusing, so I will keep this goal for this upcoming week and also add to it drinking 8 cups of water each day.

Anyway, guess this is all kind of unfocused and kind of rambly - SO I will just get off here.

Oh yeah, I have been looking at blogs here on sparkpeople and not just the people whose blogs I normally read. I realized that like I am the only "crazy" who uses this blog for such personal issues. So... maybe I should quit doing that and just keep this blog about weight loss. Perhaps take my OTHER personal issues to a book perhaps? I don't know.

Anyway, have a great day friends, I love you all!
Shannon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • LIVE_TO_LOVE
    Oh for crying out LOUD! You are not a "crazy" and you are very SANELY working throught the very issues that turn you to FOOD. Isn't that what Spark is FOR???? This blog is a tool. It's only going to help if we USE it as such, and you are doing GREAT, Shannon!! You are just one of the only ones BRAVE enought to start confronting issues and be honest with yourself!! DON'T STOP!!!!!!!
    4746 days ago
  • MRSWHITEWOLF
    Shannon, I bet you look great for the wedding. Also, don't stop blogging. I do a lot of blogging about personal stuff. So do many others. We all learn from your blogs as well as others. Our personal have a lot to do with healing and weightloss. You have to deal with the personal to deal with the weight. Quit smoking, people do a lot about that too, that isn't weightloss, but it helps those trying to lose weight and those who are trying to quit...the two tie together. This is just an example of one thing.
    4746 days ago
  • TRECECOOKS
    I'm sure you'll look real nice. And I am glad that you blog like this, because we all learn from it.
    4747 days ago
  • DONANDMARY77
    Dear Shannon,
    You should see all the blogs I have posted. They might put me in a rubber room, if I said everything that I felt. I think it is very theraputic to write your thoughts. They are not always going to be warm and fuzzy are they???

    If the pattern in the past really worked for us we wouldn't be here trying to help each other out. I think we all get insecure about our looks. Especially women. The funny thing is, the times I feel confident about what I am wearing is the times I get most of the compliments. So wear whatever you wear with confidence. They love you just the way you are.

    God bless you,
    Mary
    4747 days ago
  • RUTHXG
    You're not crazy, Shannon! Unless uncaring people are reading your SP blog & harassing you in some way, I encourage you to write whatever you want. Physical, emotional, & spiritual health are all connected.

    I'm sorry I wasn't here to comment on other recent posts; I've had only limited SP time because of my workshop & needing to get some freelance work done in the evenings. You're going through a lot, but this is NORMAL in a therapy process. I think it's a brilliant idea to print out the blogs & ask the therapist to read them. After she does, ask her to recommend something you can read about the therapist-client relationship & the process of bonding/transference/independence. ("Transference" is a technical term--she'll know how to explain that better than I can.)

    I think there may be something deeper than the future loss of this relationship that you're coming in touch with--something from your past. Your pain comes out of the most precious part of you, & it's NOT shameful. Ask God to show you what raw place is being touched. You can ask the therapist to help you think about that too.

    God doesn't open up our wounds just to leave us in despair. It's to begin a deeper level of healing.

    Hugs & blessings, friend.
    4747 days ago
  • LUCKYDUCK2
    My blog is not just about weight loss and calories. Getting healthy is so much more then calories in and calories out. It is about the total package...body, mind and soul. I write out whatever I need to heal in those three areas.
    I also use my blog sometimes to set goals because I feel unfocused or disorgainized. At the end of the day I can see what I accomplished.

    Use your blog in whatever way helps you to grow and heal. Set a good mini goal in it each day at the bottom of it and just tackle it.
    4747 days ago
  • 250STRONG
    I think you can blog about whatever you want. Mine certainly aren't all about weight and health. Glad that you found an outfit you can be comfortable in. That's half the battle, eh?
    4747 days ago
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