SHANSHE
1-99 SparkPoints 8
SparkPoints
 

Close to Home...

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Today, I found out that a friends son drowned over the weekend. I was shocked... I can only imagine what she must be feeling. this was one of the friends I rode back and forth to school with for the last year almost and the last four weeks I had of summer school it was just me and her Monday - friday for 4 weeks driving back and forth.

He is my oldest son's age, 16 and was on a camping trip with his dad who he had just recently been reconnecting with...

I had such a hard time believing it was really him that I called and talked to his step-dad and asked if it was true and when he said yes, I started crying on the phone. I can usually control my emotions better than that, but I could not help it.

I went to the viewing tonight after church and after talking to my friend, I looked at her son and started looking at all the pictures and started crying again and then cried all the way home. Big ole lump in my throat type cry.

I thought it was weird for me to cry like that. I FEEL for people all the time, but unless i feel EXTREMELY close to someone, I do not cry that much. Guess I was closer to my friend than I realized, PLUS it was close to my son's age and I just adored that boy... PLUS, my emotions are no longer suppressed, like that once were.

It is different and I am sad that my friend has lost her baby, but it is almost a relief that I feel half-way human again.

Please pray for my friend and her family... her name is Cindy.

Have a great night/day.
Shannon
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BARBARAROSE54
    This is so sad, I will keep your friend Cindy and her family in my prayers. I'm sure alot of the emotions you are feeling is due to the fact that he was so close to your own son's age. It sure makes one step back and realize how quickly things can change in one's life.
    4691 days ago
  • CAROL_HOORAH
    so so sad. our hearts are with her and you!
    4691 days ago
  • ATRAILHIKERJO54
    I only have one child a son and if anything happened to him I don't know if I could survive--- This is what pain is the feeling of not being able to help or change the situation...Shannon you are a beautiful soul and you where feeling her suffering- God bless you.. Be there when she will need you.- That's all you can do. We will all be praying for her - the family and you- Jo emoticon
    4691 days ago
  • MAEWINGS
    Hi Shannon - sorry about your friend. I will certainly add her and her family to my prayer list. Recently, here in WV, there was a murder of my husband's friend and it was SO unbelievable how it all turned out. I met him a few times and he was close to our age, but younger. I don't know why quite it has affected me the way it has. He was a stranger to me and he leaves behind a wife and 1-1/2 year old son. It really bothers me. I'll defintely be praying on why God has put him and his family and friends on my heart.
    4691 days ago
  • LILSHINE
    Oh Shannon I'm so sorry to hear that. My prayers and condolences to you and your friend. Losing a child is an awful thing especially so young or at any age. A co-worker of mine found her son dead last Thursday. He was 40 and her only child. So I'm sure it's still just as hard. May God keep everyone involved in His loving embrace.
    4692 days ago
  • 250STRONG
    Shannon, I am SO sorry for your friend and yes, she and her family will be in our thoughts.

    I am really proud of you for crying. That sensitivity is a wonderful gift (although it also means looking like a big boob sometimes) and it is just one of the many things that makes you your wonderful self.

    You may even find that since you've had your good cry over this loss that it doesn't haunt you for as long.....

    PS- Thanks for the welcome home. :)
    4692 days ago
  • LIVE_TO_LOVE
    Oh Shammon...how awful. I'm so sorry for your friends loss. I can only imagine what she's going through. It's a mother's worst nightmare. I had a dream once that my oldest son died and I didn't even realize it for awhile. I was grieving in my dream so heavily that I woke up sobbing. I went straight to his room in the middle of the night to make sure he was okay. I told him the next day about the dream and how much I love him. It was a real connecting moment for us. Sometimes we just have to FEEL how precious life really is, and grab those that we love and let those feelings SHOW! I'm so glad to hear that you are FEELING!! Praise GOD!! I understand..it's almost a relief to find out that you can be compassionate and empathetic for a friend. It's a sign of health.... I have found myself crying more than I used to as well, and it's sometimes not even emotinal..it just pours out and I'm wondering why! I completely understand what you're saying about how you felt about crying that way. You sound just like ME. I think some things are being triggered on a deeper level than we're really aware of, and coming to the surface. We are HEALING, Shannon....and it doesn't matter if others think it's all in our minds. It's their loss if they don't want to know who we really are. God made us, and He is faithful to COMPLETE the work He's begun in us. He's got beautiful plans in store for our families! This all reminds me of Steven Curtis Chapman's song ,The Miracle of the Moment. It's SO good. There's another example of just unbelievable tragedy.... It can be scary , if allow ourselves to feed that fear that Satan wants to consume us all with, but we know that ALL things work together for GOOD for those that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose.
    Sorry..didn't mean to write a book...you know I just love you to pieces...=)
    Praying for Cindy,
    Susie
    4692 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/10/2008 8:09:46 AM
  • MCHELLE1971
    I'm so sorry Shannon.
    4692 days ago
  • MRSWHITEWOLF
    It would have made me cry, Shannon. It is really sad about her son. It would be a hard one to take, let alone to not cry. I feel for people, especially those that I am close too, but I find I can cry for a complete stranger too.
    4692 days ago
  • RAINBOWMF
    Shannon, that is so sad. You were likely over come by emotion because the child was so close to your son's age and you could feel the Mothers grieve as if it happened to you.
    We all know that at any given minute something terrible could happen to any of us or any person we know.

    Mary
    4692 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.