I can't believe I'm doing this! 8-18-08

Monday, August 18, 2008

My heart is beating so fast because I know that lots of people will see this; what will they say, what will they think? Okay...deep breaths. I need to do this. I have been apart of SP for 7 weeks now. I am doing well. My August goal was to stop the negative attitude toward myself. I am doing it and it feels great! Just to take you back in time a bit... I was always thin, very athletic and could eat anything I wanted growing up. When I became pregnant with my first child I was very young (just turned 20) and weighed 135 pounds. My mother made me feel ashamed. I lost my job and had to move in with in laws and I had become VERY depressed. I lived in my room. To avoid people I would come out of my room when everyone was sleeping. Well long story short I gained 90 pounds, from only eating and sleeping. After my daughter was born people wanted to be around me and the baby but I had become even more depressed because I had become FAT!

I have now realized that I am a beautiful, strong, independent woman and I will not let anyone tell me different! I look at these pictures of me and of course it's not what I would liek to see but I am happy. I finally realize that I don't need approval from my mother because I am a grown lady and she hasn't supported me for over 13 years. I am who I am because I work hard. I just forgot to take care of myself all these years. I have been so focused on giving my daughters a beautiful life that I pushed myself back into a corner. I am stepping out of the corner and living life for me and my family now! I can see in these photos that I am happy, I am strong and I can love myself. I want to teach my daughters that they need to love themselves because if they don't then other people can and will hurt you. I will continue to work hard to be healthier and I will succeed! This was right before I left for the gym. I will have to do this again. My heart rate has dropped back to normal and I feel proud of myself. I am on track and loving me and loving every minute of my happiness!

Thank you to all Goonies - you are all truly an inspiration to me and I could not succeed with out the support I receive from each of you! Thank you!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Good for you! Unfortunately, it's easy to let weight and our negative self perceptions get the better of us, but you're beating it and I think that's awesome! You're not alone and your comments have made me feel not so alone out there on this subject. Keep it up girl, you can do it!
    4693 days ago
    Your an awesome person and you are making it happen and I am so very proud and happy for you. It's like carving out a work of art your doing that and the finall result will be that your inner beauty will begin to shine out like a butterfly comming out of it's cocoon. Great job never doubt your abilities to make your self better then you already are.

    keep on going and will be by your side emoticon together will make it work.

    Chunk emoticon
    4693 days ago
    Way to be brave! I posted my current picture on my first blog because I am tired of hiding and pretending like nothing is wrong. It was a declaration of independence and I can see from your post that this is for you too. You have the right attitude and can meet your goals!
    4693 days ago
  • no profile photo LIFES*2*SHORT
    I LOVE it... you're beautiful... and don't let anyone EVER tell you otherwise! You'll be glad you did this. Did you know that people that make *before* pictures public have a higher success rate than those that don't? Okay... maybe I just made that up... but it would make sense. LOL WAY TO GO!!
    4693 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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