Where I'm At
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Well, I had the success of breaking 150. And one of my biggest challenges are what and when I'm eating. The exercise component is happening fairly well. The biggest contributor to me losing weight is keeping a low calorie range.
When I started my journey, it didn't matters what others ate. I could really stick to doing the work of eating what would translate into a weight loss for me. So, how come I'm not doing that now? What is causing such huge fluctuations and struggles in my eating? One thing I've noticed is that I eat when I'm tired to distract myself from going to bed. Especially with my husband gone 50% of the time...I have noticed I hate going to bed and only do so when I'm exhausted...it's like i'm avoiding it...so I eat to keep myself doing something to avoid going to bed. (I really am missing Jody). So, that is one important note.
Another challenge is the weekends and the margaritas or wine. These are a lot of calories and in the beginning, it was rare for me to have wine and the margaritas were non existent. So, what's up with that? I know there are other ways to have fun, and I really like that one. And for now, can I commit to choosing the special occasions I want to have it? Is it worth it to me to have the drinks at the price of no weight loss showing up on the scale? That's something to think about.
I also need to get more specific about what it is I want to create with my weight loss. Focusing on what it is I want to accomplish with it...what's my bigger intention with continuing the journey. I think to some degree I've become comfortable with what weight I have lost and so, I've lost sight of being impeccable with my food choices. I've almost got a tape player going on in the back of my mind that says, that's it, you've taken it as far as you can. See, when I do eat right, maintain the calories, and exercise, some times, there is no drop...and after a lot of that, I've developed a "why bother attitude." I mean, currently, it's a lot, and I do mean a LOT, of work to shed a pound. And when it doesn't come off, I get discouraged, and then the self sabotage begins. I'm not sure how to work with that yet. I do think I need to re-examine my bigger picture of what it is I want in my life and want to accomplish with losing the weight, or it may not be a life long change.
So, some thoughts to get clearer on, Elsa. Here's where you are at....so what is it that you want?