True confessions...

Thursday, March 12, 2009

...of a chocolate addict. I'm feeling really stressed today & I have turned to chocolate. I'm so mad at myself.

Last night was Senior Night at my sister's soccer game & they lost. Not unheard of for her team, but it was still sad. The refs made a lot of bad calls that effected the game.

My neck & shoulder felt better today & thought I'd make it the gym. It so didn't happen. I did get in a little strength training today.

My mom is over weight, a diabetic, who refuses to check her blood sugar, has high blood pressure & is in Stage 3 of Chronic Kidney Disease. Her back has been hurting for a week now. Last night she finally got to where she couldn't stand at all. We had to call an ambulance last night to take her to the hospital. The X-ray looks like she has arthritis in her lower back. She also has a bladder infection, her kidney function is worse, she's anemic, she's dehydrated & her blood sugar is way to high. They held her in the ER all night waiting for a bed & they finally got her a room this afternoon.

Our dog, Shadow, who lives next door with my parents, is almost 13 years old & the vet thinks he has cancer. The tests are expensive & the treatment would probably kill him. We may have to put him down. He has lost control of his bladder & my dad is having a really hard time keeping the carpets clean.

I have to work tomorrow & Friday. I see my psychologist tomorrow. I really haven't worked on the biofeedback like I should have the last couple of days. Too late now. I think we have one more approved session left. I see my pain doc Friday & I'll find out where he wants to go from here. I'm pretty sure I have more nerve blocks in my future. I'm still waiting for a referral to a new neurologist. It just seem to take so long for anything to happen.

I know we don't have more thrown at us than we can handle, but I'm a little tired of being tested. And it's okay guys I have backed away from the chocolate.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You've had a crappy week!!
    I am so proud of you for stepping away from the chocolate???
    Are you an all or nothing type person??? Or can you take a small amount of Chocolate and leave the rest??? If you can have a small piece...I recommend a little one to 1)take the edge off, and 2) give your self a natural "antidepressant" that tastes good. NOW IF YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE TASTE, IGNORE WHAT I JUST WROTE!!!!
    What I can do is send you some virtual hugs.... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon and a lot of love and prayers!
    4518 days ago
    Hey sweet girl, lotsa thoughts and prayers winging your way.
    Big Hugs :)
    4518 days ago
    Continuing to pray for you!! I am so sorry you are going through all that!! BOY, I would not be able to try and drop weight with all that going on!! Take one minute and try to visualize everything being better...because it will!! It may not seem like it, right now, but "THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!" Hang in there!! Your Friend. LaceEjo11 emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4519 days ago
    Keep the faith and I'll pray for you. Hang in there emoticon
    4520 days ago
    Good grief girl - you do have a full plate. You and your Mom are in my prayers. Sometimes it seems like it is hopeless. Keep your faith and God will help you along the way.
    emoticon emoticon
    4520 days ago
  • no profile photo NOLONGERMEMBER
    Boy, when it rains, it pours, huh?

    Hang in there, I'm thinkin' about you, hoping things get better soon!
    4520 days ago
    My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue to deal with life's 'blips'...I know all this is bigger than a blip. I hope your Mom improves and maybe something will open her eyes to what she is doing to her body.

    Good job for turning away from the chocolate. Toss the rest of the bag-it will not take away all that you are going through-it will just make you feel guilty and that is counter-productive at this time.

    Stay strong-keep posting-we are here for you!

    4520 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2063988
    Don't get down on yourself...you sure don't need it. I'm sorry that life is throwing you so many lemons right now. Let's see if we can't make some lemonade......

    Well...your Mom's condition has really opened your eyes to what neglect on one's body can do to you. Thankfully, we have a medical system and knowledge to assist us when we neglect ourselves. Your sister has the mobility to play soccer and although there were bad calls by the refs, they still had the freedom to play. Opportunities to learn from the experience and improve on their game. 13 is a long life for a dog and we are blessed with humane ways of assisting our pets as the end of their life draws near. I'm thinking your dog has also been a blessing in your and your parent's lives. You are aware of not having followed your biofeedback treatment. You have a blog where you can come and express how you are feeling and get support and encouragement from your teammates.
    The alternate to not having your pain could very well be that you under the grass not on top! There....did we make some lemonade or what! Hope it at least brought a smile to your face.


    4520 days ago
    Good Lord, Woman ... you have a lot on your plate! I wish I could say something that will take all the stress and angst away, but that sort of wisdom always escapes me. I can offer an ear to vent to - both my mother and brother went thru kidney failure as a result of diabetes. My brother got lucky and received a kidney/pancreas transplant in 2005. You also have my sympathies about Shadow. Pets become part of the family and it's sad when you lose them or are faced with having to put them down. We lost a cat yesterday (my poor baby!), we think he was hit by a car, so I totally understand where that stress is coming from. Forgive yourself for the chocolate ... and congratulate yourself for backing away. Remember, if you need to vent - let me know.

    4520 days ago
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