Not Just Procrastination
Saturday, April 18, 2009
I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. Namely, where I'm at in my life right now. It's so easy to get caught up in the busy and not take a moment to reflect on what is happening moment to moment, day by day. It is also easy to get caught up in the fear. Am I really a procrastinator or am I just someone so afraid of failure, I don't take the time to do what needs to be done?
I found this week that when faced with some daunting paperwork, I put it off. With the deadline (April 25) fast approaching, I made myself sit down, clear my mind, and focus on the paperwork. I remember thinking about some of the thoughts I had while hesitating to complete the form: maybe I should write the information on another sheet of paper in case I make a mistake, I don't understand some of the questions, etc. And then I thought about how those thoughts felt and found that I'm worried about doing things the right way (writing the info on a separate sheet of paper first), feeling stupid (not understanding some of the questions), and other feelings of inadequacy.
The thoughts continued and I remember thinking...is there really a right way of doing things? why would I be stupid if I don't understand a question? what else is fear keeping me from doing? And that's the next goal for me. I want to make a list of those unfinished projects still waiting to be completed and new adventures and experiences I want to have, and start getting things done and start having some fun.