When does life begin again?
Monday, April 27, 2009
Well, I've gone through my depression, went on meds, gained all that darn weight thanks to them and couldn't get it back off. Then we moved across the country, I finally got a job, found my happiness again and was able to get off the meds. But.... for some reason I can't find my life again.
Ok, maybe that sounds confusing. But, I was on track for so long, doing so well, and now, no matter what I do I can NOT find motivation to get started again.
I've tried different groups, but I never seem to be able to find one that I really click with and fit in. I always feel like I am "the odd man out." People will say hi when I join, but then when I try to interact, I get ignored. That's REAL motivating, let me tell you. So, I end up leaving again.
I am finding it hard to workout now that I am a full time working mom. How do all you working moms manage it? By the time I get home at 5:15 pm, I am so tired and sore that the last thing I want to think about is working out. And morning workouts are out of the question right now, because I'm in an apartment, and it's not sound proofed, I would wake up the lady and her dang barking dog downstairs (I hate that dog).
But, I KNOW that I WANT to lose the weight. My body is starting to go back into it's old routine of illnesses, female problems, and the things that go along with that, and the more frequent back pains and migraines too. And being sick for 3 months none stop has NOT helped things at all.
I need help, and I NEED motivation, but it seems whenever I ask for it, I am kicked to the curb. I don't get why everyone seems to want to ignore me. Maybe I am not good enough to have people bother to motivate me like others helped motivate them. I feel like I am back in high school sometimes.