Navel Gazing and Procrastination
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
It may be ironic that I'm navel gazing about navel gazing and procrastination when there are things on my to do list for the day that I haven't done, but I think I need to write about this anyway. I've always been a thinker...more than a doer. Hence my couch potato life BSP ("Before Spark People"). I analyzed relationships to death when I was single, I excelled as a student and loved research and writing papers. (I still love researching and writing, I just don't have a job that involves much of that.) I'm more theoretical than practical. Combined with perfectionism and taking things slowly, cautiously and deliberately, I've never been one to "set the world on fire," and when I DID get going on something, I wasn't able to sustain the momentum for very long.
Once I get a vision, that seems to help. We remodeled the basement 4 years ago, and I DID go like gangbusters with that. I spent much of the summer staining woodwork, painting walls, finding door/cabinet hardware, etc. One difference between my living/dining room project and the basement is that I had a vision. I had a wall hanging that helped me with the color scheme, I knew I wanted to incorporate copper accents, and we made the wood trim and door knobs similar to what was in the other part of the house.
Remodeling the living/dining rooms is different. Even though I have a vision to paint the walls similarly to the original 1926 multi-colored glazed and textured finish, I have no idea how to do it. My painting experiment failed miserably a couple of weeks ago, and that took the wind out of my sails considerably. Now I'm stuck again. I tried finding a picture to help me choose the colors, but in the end my DH and I decided neither of the pictures were really "it." So back to square one. I think my perfectionism is kicking in here, too. This seems like such a huge commitment to me. If I were just painting the walls one color, that wouldn't be such an issue. But if I can even figure out how to do something similar to the original, it will be such an intricate process, that it will be a major time and energy investment, so I want to make sure it will be just right.
OK, so what about just taking care of the house day-to-day? Why am I such a slug about picking up, decluttering and cleaning? Why do I ignore my Flylady routines after going to all the trouble to make a routine list in my Control Journal? Why was I such a slug about exercising and why didn't I care about what I was eating? I think it stems from some of the same problems. Both problems take practical steps and action, not just theoretical navel-gazing. Sitting and thinking is easy. It's the getting up and doing something with the thoughts, especially consistently and persistently that is hard...and not fun.
I am able to be consistent and persistent with exercising because I found fun ways to do it...dance-based classes. I'm even able to be consistent with the strength training because I break it up into tolerable chunks. Tracking food and exercising during the losing weight phase, while tedious, was easier when I was doing it everyday than it has been in maintenance, because I knew it would result in noticable, measurable progress. So, how do I make sparking my house measurable and fun? The SP process involves goals and rewards. I really need to be able to measure progess in order to know when I've earned the rewards.
OK, enough navel gazing for today. Tomorrow I'm going to complete 4 of the steps I wrote down in my Control Journal. I will:
1. Revise my Control Journal.
2. Swish & Swipe the bathrooms
3. REALLY clean the kitchen sink
4. Declutter for 15 minutes, 4 times throughout the day.
I will record this on my "other goals."
I will start a reward jar. I'll put my daily points' worth of pennies/cents in a jar, saving up for a reward (details to be determined).
I'll use HouseFairy ideas to make things fun.