The emotional side of things
Friday, July 31, 2009
Ok, well while I have time I might as well give the emotional side of this battle too. I have some serious emotions attached to my weight. My weight makes me hurt inside. It is embarressing to me. It makes me depressed. It is also what I hold on to a little bit. Cause why else would I give up so quick, right? I think the reason is because I am scared of the unknown. You know, the part where I have to face a new me. The part where I have to act different. The part where I have to own up to my weaknesses and addictions. The part where I have to come to terms with my lack of self control and self esteem and turn it around to fix it. It is sad to me that the thing that hurts me the most is also one of the things I love the most. I have actually thought about going through the 12 steps like they do in AA and NA. One of my best friends is an alcoholic who has been sober for a little over 2 years. Food for me is what alcohol was to her. And still is really except she has full control of herself and no longer gives in to temptation. She has the attitude about alcohol that I desparately want to have about food. I might just do that too. Work through the steps.
It is still too early in this process to put down all my thoughts regarding this subject. But the reason I did this blog and the last blog was so that I could start to accept this side of my battle with weight. I will never get anywhere if I dont take the time to deal with these issues. For now I will stop cause the more I type, the more frustrated I am getting. Isnt that ridiculous????