The emotional side of things

Friday, July 31, 2009

Ok, well while I have time I might as well give the emotional side of this battle too. I have some serious emotions attached to my weight. My weight makes me hurt inside. It is embarressing to me. It makes me depressed. It is also what I hold on to a little bit. Cause why else would I give up so quick, right? I think the reason is because I am scared of the unknown. You know, the part where I have to face a new me. The part where I have to act different. The part where I have to own up to my weaknesses and addictions. The part where I have to come to terms with my lack of self control and self esteem and turn it around to fix it. It is sad to me that the thing that hurts me the most is also one of the things I love the most. I have actually thought about going through the 12 steps like they do in AA and NA. One of my best friends is an alcoholic who has been sober for a little over 2 years. Food for me is what alcohol was to her. And still is really except she has full control of herself and no longer gives in to temptation. She has the attitude about alcohol that I desparately want to have about food. I might just do that too. Work through the steps.

It is still too early in this process to put down all my thoughts regarding this subject. But the reason I did this blog and the last blog was so that I could start to accept this side of my battle with weight. I will never get anywhere if I dont take the time to deal with these issues. For now I will stop cause the more I type, the more frustrated I am getting. Isnt that ridiculous????
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  • MYTURN11
    The food thing. I understand this so much. I reached for it to comfort me like it was my friend instead of the enemy (this is not a good thing either to call it an enemy thereby setting up battle lines). I figured I deserved it since I have worked all of my life so why not reward myself with the foods I love. Truth is I never know when my emotions will be running high so I need to prepare (sort of like the 12 steps) and cannot have the foodstuffs in my house – ever. I need to thank this food addiction though because it has taught me allot about the woman I am. Instead of hating it I will thank it and then there is no negativity since there is no hate. Food was/is/will always be part of my journey. emoticon
    4335 days ago
    I love food too. Im also a person that if I tell myself I CANT have , I want it even MORE. So I now tell myself I can have whatever I want just limited and it been working. When everyone is sitting down for chocolate cake I eat some too but 1/4 of what their eatting or if their all sitting eatting burgers I do too but 1/2. I eat slow and drink fluids to fill me up. :)

    Since I have my cell phone with me all the time, I set it to alert me every 3 hrs to eat something small or a meal so I never get starved to the point of stuffing myself. It also alerts me to drink water.

    4336 days ago
    It takes awhile to get your tummy shrunk down so that you aren't hungry all the time. For me the more I restrict, the less control food has over me. The thing here is to be consistent until that happens. Food will always have the upper hand if you let it. When you've eaten the right portion and you still feel hungry, eat raw veggies to fill you up. If you do not want to eat the veggies, you are not truly hungry, you are eating because food has control of you. It's tough, like going through withdrawals, but if you are consistent, it releases it's grip on you. It's like any addiction, the sugar and processed foods are the culprits. Another way to break the grip (be firm with the child within you that wants her fix) is to stop the sugar and processed foods. Maybe eliminate sugar first. If all you want is sweet, you are addicted. Morticia is right, food isn't really the enemy but sugar and processed foods. When you're dying for sugar, eat some fruit.. It's not all food that is addicting so find a substitute for your cravings. At first, maybe diet soda for the sweet tooth or add splenda to your tea. Maybe not focusing on the "whole" thing is better for you. Conquering food bit by bit. Say eating all you want, except sugar, to start with. Then when you get over the sugar addiction, tackle the processed food. After those two, cut down a little at a time, no sugar, no junk snacks, no seconds. The 3 S's. There's more than one way to divide and conquer. Bit by bit, you can conquer you're addictions. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Each little success accumulates and soon you will realize that you can take control over food and even other things in life. Bit by bit it's not so overwhelming.
    4337 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/1/2009 9:37:30 AM
    Thank you so much for writing this blog, I too have huge emotions attatched to my weight, I get so far then I sabotage it, I cant seem to stop eating, I know when I put it in my mouht its all the wrong food and now I am the heaviest I have been in a year. I was doing so well at the start of the year and the thought of getting back into that strict routine of watching what I eat and working out every day on top of my already hectic life is well... daunting! do you want to add me as a buddy? I think the more support I get and give the better?
    Rach xx
    4337 days ago
  • PATTYS74
    Hey Cheryl,
    I was reading your blog and trying to figure out hjow to respond, so I started thinking about my sister. She was over 300 pounds and she really wasn't a big eater. Which sounds impossible but it is true. Sh ruined her metabolismby too many goofy diets and plenty of yo-yo dieting. When I did WW she got really interested because I could eat pretty normal to kind of large amounts of food as long as I ate the right stuff. So I started sharing my recipes and meal plans with her and she began to lose. She has lost 60 pounds to date. Any my point is you like to eat, I like to eat , that is why we have a problem so what WW taught is learn what foods you can eat to fill really fill you up. I lived on veggie soup for a year and a half. Not alone I ate all the other stuff even cheated but I would eat several cups of veggie soup every time I was hungry. I was doing WW online but I had a friend that was going to the meetings and I had her ask for me if you could eat too much of the stuff and her leader said she never heard you so I continued to eat tons of it and I was losing weight still. Well I am on a tangent here point is find something that you prepare your self so you know exactly what it is and when you want to eat big let it fill you up. Do you want my veggie soup It is very good. I think we get frustrated when we stop losing and really mostly always all it is we just have to get the metabolisim going again. The only way you can do that is to eat. Not meaning to say that it is is that easy because it isn't . But it is a new are to work on. Don't beat your self up, just keep looking for the reason you don't lose. There is one. My skinny size 0 daughter wanted to lose weight (no I have no idea why) She has a personal trainer and he put her an 2500 calorie diet to get het system working again. It worked until she stopped eatin again. You gatta eat to lose. YOu just have to find what foods work for you. Doe any of this mak any It was explained to my by people who knew what they wre doing and I am trying to repeat I guess i better quit before I really have ou confused.
    4337 days ago
  • GLM19566
    I am so glad that you are taking control and making steps -you are very brave and stronger than you think you are emoticon
    4337 days ago
    I have a friend who is active in Overeaters Anonymous which is a 12 step program similar to AA for people with "food addictions". She really likes this approach. You might look into that in your community.
    4337 days ago
    I am glad you posted this blog. It is hard to put it out there but you are smart in realizing and deciding to do something other than make excuses. I am sure you will suceed. It won't be a breeze but you are aware.
    I wish you positive in all that you want to accomplish and the awareness of what will help you.
    4337 days ago
    You are right. The enemy is my way of thinking about food and how I feel about it. I get angry when I eat the right portion and I am not full. I have to wonder how people eat that way. I was watching Extreme Eating the other night on Food Network (I think that was the channel. My dad had it on) and they were talking about oversized meals and how they challenged people to eat these large amounts. The one who could do it usually ate free. I was looking at it and thinking I could do that. I could eat that 7lb burrito. I could eat the 5lb hamburger. And for real, I could probably eat fries with it. LMAO!! Who does that??? Why was I honestly saying I could do it and not have any trouble with it. I mean seriously…there is something wrong with thinking this way.
    4337 days ago
    I love food too. Everything about it. It makes it difficult to keep it in perspective. At some point you have to realize that food is not the enemy. The problem is not being able to consume food in the right proportions and stop when you are full. I tell myself this every day. Stop eating like it's my last meal. LOL.
    4337 days ago
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