It's been quite a while since I've been on the site...
To say I've been struggling is the ultimate understatement. Things are not going well in my personal and work life.
I have found a real friend in my kitchen.
At my highest weight loss, I was at 52 lbs lost...

Over the holidays, I gained a few lbs back... No biggie, it's the holidays. I'll get back on track after they're over... So I thought...
It's been downhill ever since. The weight has been creeping back up... not necessarily 1 lb at a time. More like big decisive chunks...
What's up with that?...
I had dinner with my friend last night. She has not gained any of her weight back. ( If you're listening Amanda, you look BEAUTIFUL!!!

) Instead of feeling jealous, I was happy for her!! My maturity level here would make my mom so proud!!!
She really looks great and has got me thinking again. I did this once before, I can do it again.
I'm tired of waking up in the morning and still feeling full from the meal the night before.
I mean, come on, how wrong is that!!!
I'm tired of being tired all the time. Why haven't I learned my lesson?

How big of a moron am I?
Why am I so self destructive?
I feel a bit of a "spark" in me this morning.
Rather than grab my usual

and remote, I grabbed my

and got on my very dusty elliptical and worked for 11 minutes. On level 1, that's all I could do and thought I'd die doing that!
I'm gonna make this a great eating day. I WILL stay within my caloric range and I WILL get on the elliptical 2 more times today...
Today is gonna be a good day!
Why am I a SP fraud and liar you ask...
My page still says 30 lbs lost...
I will be changing that reflect a BIG GOOSE EGG
I'm gonna read the blogs of my Spark friends to find reinforcements.
Thank you WistfulVista, for the idea to blog as soon as the binge feeling starts... I'm definitely gonna do that. Let's see how many times I end up blogging today alone...
Wish me luck!!! I'm gonna need it!