Sunday, September 20, 2009
About 13 years ago I lost 85 pounds, wore a size 12 and felt great. Before I started dieting, which at that time was done through Weight Watchers, I was trying hard to become callused to the attitude I got from people concerning my obese appearance. One thing that really was amazing about my weight loss was how people began to perceive me. People were friendlier and seemed to have a more positive attitude towards me. Instead of being made fun of I was actually getting "those looks" from people that made you feel proud of your looks and your accomplishments. I brushed it off and thought that maybe it was because I had made such an overall change in my life....not just my weight loss but my attitude, so I thought it was just me and how I felt about myself. Before my weight loss I noticed that when I went shopping no one would wait on me but would help others before me. I noticed that people looked at me as if I were an ogre or something disgusting, not to mention getting mooed or oinked at or just plain being laughed at like I was some kind of circus side show. Just like many people who are stereotyped, over weight people are stereotyped as being lazy and they think we just sit around and eat 24/7. I have never been like that but I do fight genetics and poor eating habits...mostly under eating believe it or not. I have always been super active but the past 5 years I have gotten lazier because of a desk job. Well as you can see I gained the 85 back plus about 65 more!!!! I have noticed that I am back to square one...people jeering at me and no one wanting to wait on me when I shop. I know now that it isn't my imagination. I guess when your measurements go up then you quit "measuring up" to everyone else's standards. I have never been one that gave a damn about what others thought of me but this type of cruelty is hard to ignore. It isn't enough that I have to drag all this extra weight around, avoid looking in mirrors, wear clothes that I don't like because it is all I can find to fit me but I also get to watch the degrading ways that people react to my presence. Well you know what...I CAN change all of that and I intend in doing just that! I WILL get my figure back and I will enjoy the way that I "measure up" in my own eyes! I don't need the acceptance of people who are so ignorant and superficial that they can't accept people for who they are and not what they look like or what they think is the "norm" in their eyes. Those who judge will be judged someday themselves in a much higher court....will they "measure up" then?
I am on course to a healthier and happier me. I shall stay on course until my goals are met and no fudge sundae or plateau will hinder my efforts.
As in the quote by Ayn Rand:
"The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me."
This is me 13 years ago....HOT!