Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I decided to channel all the anger I have for my doctor and my body which I feel has betrayed me and use it to fight my way back to good health and strength. It really hurts to exercise but I'm doing it because I am not ready to give up and live life in a chair or bedridden in constant pain. I figure if I'm going to hurt anyway, why not at least make an effort to live my life the way I want to?
I fought all the way along the 1.75 mile south rim walk at the Grand Canyon because I had to see it and I know that I will not remember the pain, just the beautiful scene before me. I fight because of all the beautiful places and things I have yet to see and do. I don't know why God hasn't healed me but if He wants me to learn from this and do it myself, I know He will give me strength to do so. I really pray that I can achieve the pain-free body I want because living without hope is so defeating.