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Today was to be my first 1/2

Sunday, October 04, 2009

It has been a very stressful 2-3 weeks for me. As this date started to get near, the more depressed I have become. It is just one of few dates this month that has been extremely difficult for me. When i turned the calendar over to October the other day I cried for most of the morning. Main reason is because of my sister in laws death was almost 1 yr ago..Oct. 14th. That set me off crying that morning, drove into work and saw a group of men jogging, that set me off crying, everytime I see someone running this sets off deep pains within me! UGH!!! Then my brother contacted me Oct. 1 to tell me he proposed to his now girlfriend,,, that major set me off into a tailspin...I guess as of right now my dad and myself are the only ones that know. THey haven't told any other family members---gee I wonder why??? She's not even wearing the ring he bought her, she has it tucked away in the box in the bedroom. Here it is only October 4th it has been a crappy 4 days...well 3 days since today has just started...but I should be out running right now. I would be 1 hr and 22 minutes into my 1/2 marathon...I would be more than 1/2 way thru it right now. But nope my &#@* knee. I did wii fit the other day and the running in that even set it offl, you talk about depressing. Its been hard doing any exercise cause I love running and to do a dvd its been difficult to even bother with it. More times than not I'm laying on the couch napping. My exericse has been not good, do what I can and I still feel extremely depressed about what I'm doing. I did yoga the other day and instead of feeling good about it, I cried. I want to run, not do yoga which seems to be the only thing that doesnt set off my knee.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sorry to hear about your month. Sorry about the knee. Force yourself to think positive and it will come {{HUGS}}
    4291 days ago
    "God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change those things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference." (Reinhold Niebuhr 1892-1971)

    God does answer prayers, but sometimes He says, "Not now."

    When wading through difficult times, I try to follow, "Let THY will be done." I have caused the greatest amount of trouble for myself when I tried to force my agenda on others.

    In our youth we get away with so much abuse of our bodies. I guess one reason wisdom is associated with age is that it takes greater wisdom to flourish as we age. Those of us with "trick" knees have to prepare for exertion ever so carefully. Perhaps we can both investigate knee rehab exercises to gird the muscles around the knee. (You probably already have an arsenal of them.)

    There will be another 1/2 marathon. You are an extraordinary woman with a huge heart, powered with determination. Nurture yourself to make the best of what you have, and to empower all whose paths cross yours. emoticon
    4315 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/4/2009 7:52:28 PM
    I'm so sorry to hear about your very frustrating month. Sometimes it seems bad things come all at once. Which of course is made worse when the good thing (running) becomes the bad thing (stupid knee). I really hope that you can find some other physical activity that challenges and nurtures you. Take the time to grieve this month, but realize that you are an amazingly strong individual who can overcome obstacles.
    4315 days ago
    Oh my dearest friend..I am so sorry. I am wish I can give you a BIG hug. Pls remember if you need anything I am only a page away. Pls let me know if I can do anything. BIG HUGS!!!!

    God loves you.
    4315 days ago
  • JEM0622
    Many hugs. Sometimes ppl who grieve feel the need to put something in that void of their life, and they, oftentimes, will find that something did not really help them work through their difficulties in life. I hope that you get to participate in an event in the near future. ~julie
    4315 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2854415
    I understand completely about running. I just had to back out of a 1/2 that I've been planning since last year!!! My leg is too bothersome, and I can't run with it. I attempted a run/walk thing yesterday, and my knee was not happy at all. My "girl weekend" at the OBX is not going to be the same since I can't run the Half with my friends. I'm still going for the girl weekend, and hopefully I'll be able to run the 8K the day before (it's in November), but I really, really wanted to train for and run the Half.

    I hope you heal quickly and are back to running soon.
    4316 days ago
  • WALNUT5612
    I hope you will feel like exercising soon! Sorry about your loss!
    4316 days ago
    My only 21k was run while I still had vestiges of flu. The last 5 kays were hellish, and eventually I finished 3rd last with a minute to spare. I didn't run for ages after that, so the whole thing was counter-productive.

    Long story short - you did the right thing by looking after yourself. Don't regret the decision, just focus on getting strong again.
    4316 days ago
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