Today was to be my first 1/2
Sunday, October 04, 2009
It has been a very stressful 2-3 weeks for me. As this date started to get near, the more depressed I have become. It is just one of few dates this month that has been extremely difficult for me. When i turned the calendar over to October the other day I cried for most of the morning. Main reason is because of my sister in laws death was almost 1 yr ago..Oct. 14th. That set me off crying that morning, drove into work and saw a group of men jogging, that set me off crying, everytime I see someone running this sets off deep pains within me! UGH!!! Then my brother contacted me Oct. 1 to tell me he proposed to his now girlfriend,,, that major set me off into a tailspin...I guess as of right now my dad and myself are the only ones that know. THey haven't told any other family members---gee I wonder why??? She's not even wearing the ring he bought her, she has it tucked away in the box in the bedroom. Here it is only October 4th it has been a crappy 4 days...well 3 days since today has just started...but I should be out running right now. I would be 1 hr and 22 minutes into my 1/2 marathon...I would be more than 1/2 way thru it right now. But nope my @* knee. I did wii fit the other day and the running in that even set it offl, you talk about depressing. Its been hard doing any exercise cause I love running and to do a dvd its been difficult to even bother with it. More times than not I'm laying on the couch napping. My exericse has been not good, do what I can and I still feel extremely depressed about what I'm doing. I did yoga the other day and instead of feeling good about it, I cried. I want to run, not do yoga which seems to be the only thing that doesnt set off my knee.