BLESSEDINBAMA

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October, Already?

Sunday, October 04, 2009



We say it every year: "where did the time go?" But this year it seems more true than ever for me.

For the last 20 months, I have been sick and miserable for most of the time. Meniere's Disease and benign positional vertigo have literally ruled my life since it all began in February of 2008. I have lost nearly two years of my life, but there is a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel!

Having mostly recovered from surgery to insert a shunt into my "bad" ear, I am beginning to wean from the medication that helped me balance before the surgery. Unfortunately, the positional vertigo seems magnified now. I cannot look up or down, bend down, etc. without getting vertigo and nausea that lasts for hours. I am still trying to work, but had to leave by 10:00 a.m. one day last week due to a particularly nasty episode.

Now, I admit that I am a stubborn woman, and my patience is worn thin with these diseases. The doctor wanted me to wait another couple of months before weaning off the meds and doing the rehab exercises for the BPPV. He feels that I need a break betweeen the surgery and the rehab. But of course, I just couldn't wait to feel better, so I just started weaning myself a couple of weeks ago. Well, it was too soon and I'm going right back on the meds. I'm a bit discouraged because the rehab will take another 3-4 months and I really wanted to feel better before the holidays. Doesn't look like that's going to happen, though.

In case I didn't have enough misery, I also have sleep apnea now and have been trying to adjust to wearing a CPAP mask and using the machine when I sleep. It's been about a week and a half and I'm finally starting to get used to it a littleha, but that also is supposed to take 2-3 months!

I'm starting to see a pattern here: I think God is trying to teach me patience and to depend on others--neither of which I'm especially good at. I'm one of those people that prefers to help others rather than receive help. Well, I've certainly had to get over that! My poor family and co-workers are always helping me with something that I can't physically do anymore. Lesson learned, God. Now as for patience......that hasn't quite kicked in.......yet.

There is that little light at the end of the tunnel, though. I'm now shooting for
early next year to get rid of this darned vertigo and be able to go out among people again without getting sick! God has provided a way through knowledgable doctors; now if I can just do what they tell me for once!

I covet your prayers, friends. I'm so weary of not being able to go anywhere but work. Still can't shop, go to church, ...or anywhere there will be people and visual stimuli. That part requires the rehab; the surgery fixed one thing, though--it's pouring down rain and I am NOT SICK!!! That is a small miracle for someone with severe Meniere's! I thank my Lord for the improvement and will TRY to wait patiently for the rest to come.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • TRY2CHANGE
    Perhaps it is not so much others God is wanting to teach you to depend on, but Himself! We have to remember that God sends people into our lives to do His will in us. As far as the CPaP is concerned you are lucky, I am going on my second month and I have not slept more than 2-3 hours on it. When I do use it I wake up several hours later, the mask is sitting next to the machine, sometimes the machine is still on, sometimes its not, BUT I have to recollection of how it got there, when I took it off, if I slept at all with it on.... Worst part? I am having episodes where I quit breathing for such a long period of time I get lightheaded before finally waking up, talk about some weird dreams to happen as I am gasping for air but not woken up enough to breath yet. I believe I too am having to learn alot about patience, so perhaps we can learn together :)
    God bless and lots of love
    Jamie
    4161 days ago
  • TRY2CHANGE
    Perhaps it is not so much others God is wanting to teach you to depend on, but Himself! We have to remember that God sends people into our lives to do His will in us. As far as the CPaP is concerned you are lucky, I am going on my second month and I have not slept more than 2-3 hours on it. When I do use it I wake up several hours later, the mask is sitting next to the machine, sometimes the machine is still on, sometimes its not, BUT I have to recollection of how it got there, when I took it off, if I slept at all with it on.... Worst part? I am having episodes where I quit breathing for such a long period of time I get lightheaded before finally waking up, talk about some weird dreams to happen as I am gasping for air but not woken up enough to breath yet. I believe I too am having to learn alot about patience, so perhaps we can learn together :)
    God bless and lots of love
    Jamie
    4161 days ago
  • PURPOSEPOWER95
    Girl you know what the bible say those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.... wait but thank God for supportive family and co-workers. I can understand you want to be independent I feel the way something..got some health challenges myself. God is my healer and I am patiently wait on him. Girl yesterday John Haggee prayed an awesome healers prayer I had to copy it down. I'll give it to you this week. Man that was good stuff!!!
    4163 days ago
  • FLMOMX2
    Glad to hear that you are starting to feel better, slowly. My DH is also using a CPAP and has been on it for 2 1/2 months and still adjusting to it, but is so feeling an improvement. Have a great week.
    4163 days ago
  • CASAGRANDMA
    Hang on Marlene - it's gonna happen - believe it!!

    So glad to hear the rain isn't being awful anymore for you. Baby steps here as well as with other things in life.

    Will continue to keep you in prayer.

    emoticon Diana
    4164 days ago
  • PASTORWILEY62
    I pray for daily strength for you , be encouraged this to shall pass i suffered years with same illness and it did pass.
    4164 days ago
  • DEBANNE1124
    You truly amaze me.
    I am praying that oon you wont' be on any meds at all and soon you can go out and do things like you dont' even ahve this thing.You'll be okay.


    Have you ordered the new Spark book Spark Guy wrote? You might check into ordering it.
    It sounds wonderful.

    Debbie
    4164 days ago
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