October, Already?

We say it every year: "where did the time go?" But this year it seems more true than ever for me.

For the last 20 months, I have been sick and miserable for most of the time. Meniere's Disease and benign positional vertigo have literally ruled my life since it all began in February of 2008. I have lost nearly two years of my life, but there is a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel!

Having mostly recovered from surgery to insert a shunt into my "bad" ear, I am beginning to wean from the medication that helped me balance before the surgery. Unfortunately, the positional vertigo seems magnified now. I cannot look up or down, bend down, etc. without getting vertigo and nausea that lasts for hours. I am still trying to work, but had to leave by 10:00 a.m. one day last week due to a particularly nasty episode.

Now, I admit that I am a stubborn woman, and my patience is worn thin with these diseases. The doctor wanted me to wait another couple of months before weaning off the meds and doing the rehab exercises for the BPPV. He feels that I need a break betweeen the surgery and the rehab. But of course, I just couldn't wait to feel better, so I just started weaning myself a couple of weeks ago. Well, it was too soon and I'm going right back on the meds. I'm a bit discouraged because the rehab will take another 3-4 months and I really wanted to feel better before the holidays. Doesn't look like that's going to happen, though.

In case I didn't have enough misery, I also have sleep apnea now and have been trying to adjust to wearing a CPAP mask and using the machine when I sleep. It's been about a week and a half and I'm finally starting to get used to it a littleha, but that also is supposed to take 2-3 months!

I'm starting to see a pattern here: I think God is trying to teach me patience and to depend on others--neither of which I'm especially good at. I'm one of those people that prefers to help others rather than receive help. Well, I've certainly had to get over that! My poor family and co-workers are always helping me with something that I can't physically do anymore. Lesson learned, God. Now as for patience......that hasn't quite kicked in.......yet.

There is that little light at the end of the tunnel, though. I'm now shooting for
early next year to get rid of this darned vertigo and be able to go out among people again without getting sick! God has provided a way through knowledgable doctors; now if I can just do what they tell me for once!

I covet your prayers, friends. I'm so weary of not being able to go anywhere but work. Still can't shop, go to church, ...or anywhere there will be people and visual stimuli. That part requires the rehab; the surgery fixed one thing, though--it's pouring down rain and I am NOT SICK!!! That is a small miracle for someone with severe Meniere's! I thank my Lord for the improvement and will TRY to wait patiently for the rest to come.