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The Ballad of Another Lesson Learned (Do these lessons ever end?)

Thursday, November 05, 2009

I was so proud of myself. From October '08 until August '09, I didn't even crave sugar so that made it easy not to eat it. I didn't feel deprived, which was nothing short of miracle since I've always been the sugar queen of the universe. (smiling) But then I read an article saying not to deprive yourself of anything or be too rigid, as you might run the risk of sudden derailment.

Okay. I get it. Then, August was the first time I fell off the program after being "almost perfect." (not a perfect human being - smiling - just a near-perfect program) Yes, too rigid. I ate a little more of this and that, but not even close to what I'd eaten in the days before healthier eating.

I learned a lot during that month of "failure." In fact, in retrospect, I no longer consider it a failure since I learned so much about myself and eating in that month. I brushed myself off and found it easy to use the tools I've learned to get headed back in the right direction.

Then came October 22, 2009. A week before that, I'd worked sooooo hard with mega-exercise to the nth degree. When I saw that it did not make the scale even quiver slightly, I subconsciously took that info and tucked it away to use when I needed a "who cares" attitude.

My opportuntity came on October 22 when, before going to see Lion King, I had dinner with a friend. At that time, I realized that I didn't even really WANT sugar, but somehow I wound up ordering dessert. I rationalized that I'd exercised so hard w/o losing a pound, and if that was going to happen (I've been on a forever plateau). then who cares? (not a forver who cares, just for that night - or so I thought.)

In one of my blogs, I'd discusssed that I'd been trying to teach myself the "little bit" thing, and trying to get out of the all-or-none syndrome. That it's the first few bites that are said to be the most rewarding and the rest is downhill from there. But I ordered the dessert, and I was determined to forget the rules and just enjoy it. Which I did - kinda...

I really didn't do the "little bit." I had a honkin' piece of caramel cheesecake with so many additions it would make your head spin. And that's just what the sugar did to me. During the play, I was so dizzy and my body wanted to reject that sugar.

Of course, it's seldom a "one night" or one time thing. It was my gateway drug and for the following days, right up to Halloween, I had sugar. No, not as much as the sugar queen of the universe used to have, but way more than the almost-year of absolutely none.

Last Sunday night, upon taking a close look at myself (in many ways) and soul searching, I knew I was at a juncture. I could become a sugar junkie again, or live without it and feel great. I know I made the right choice.

The reason the Pampered Princess award this week was terrific timing is that it was a triumph of my decision to live without that which I really no longer want, need or can physically accommodate. Not only am I sugar free, but also caffeine free after a very tough detox last week. In a way, I'm glad this happened and made me make the choice. It was like a recommitment to myself rather than the substance.

And, guess what, today's weigh-in - 1 LB. DOWN! I think I'm done with this forever plateau. And I KNOW I'm done with sugar. Hooray, hooray!
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    3860 days ago
    Congratulations...keep up the good work! Talk about forever plateau's!!! 3yrs I did not budge, but I am here to tell you...Keep your new healthy lifestyle and know inside that you ARE healthy and fit!!! It will happen I promise...I hope NOW is your time!!!
    3860 days ago
  • VICIOUS421
    Congratulations! I know that had to be hard but losing a pound is awesome!
    3860 days ago
  • JLITT62
    Good for you! I wish I could give up sugar altogether. I know I'd be healthier. Thankfully, I have learned to eat in moderation, but it took a really long time to get there.

    Congrats on losing the pound! And all your insights into yourself. That's what it's all about.
    3860 days ago
    That is awesome! emoticon emoticon I'm happy for you, not only for the weight loss but you're STRONG kicking that sugar and caffeine emoticon
    3860 days ago
  • no profile photo HOKU-ALOHI
    OMgosh!!! That is so awesome Jesse!!! Talk about will power, commitment and are soaring my friend!!!
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    3860 days ago
    Good for you! You are a winner! emoticon
    3860 days ago
    You are doing terrific. Sugar and caffeine free you are definately my hero. Keep up the great work. You will soon reach your goals. Star emoticon
    3860 days ago
    Life is all about learning lessons some are not the easiest to learn. You did good. Keep up the posittive attitude.

    3860 days ago
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