I haven't written for the past few days because I've been absolutely tired. I've been busy running here and there, doing this and that. Thursday morning the neighbors woke me up at 2:30AM and I didn't fall asleep until 5AM. Thursday was crazy with Nick's PT, I had a fun hike through Worthington Woods with Molly, then tutoring and an interview. Studied with Kori Friday. Then I felt like crap all weekend. I had a massive headache yesterday, and Nick worked. He made dinner though, and bought me a rose and a few dark chocolate covered strawberries from Godiva, yum.
Today was rather all over however. I had trouble sleeping last night (blame it on the money) and was up at 6:30 to get ready for an 8:30 interview downtown. I think the interview went well, and there will be a second round next week. I would love to have this job, and I think I would be really great at it! I would get to do office stuff, but also plan events. I couldn't ask for more in a job right now.
Another interview tomorrow. It's a follow up from the one last Thursday, which was a HORRIBLE group interview. There were 20+ people crammed into this small office lobby. The worst part was the 15 seconds of personal time you got in the "interview." We were asked to introduce ourselves and say what we are *really* passionate about. I said etiquette, and being the best person I can be, for myself and everyone around me. Totally true, no bs, right? The doctor, who's office it is, said something about how her sister went to an etiquette school (what that is I don't know; there's finishing school and protocol school. Really?) and it really didn't do her any good: and then the whole room laughed. While they couldn't really be laughing completely at me, it felt like on some level they were. Felt like London all over again. Couldn't really believe I got a call back.
Nick is still doing well in PT, and he sold a car yesterday. Found out today he gets the salesman of the month bonus for January, but we're still going to have an awful time making our bills for the month, by a few hundred. We're totally tapped, I don't know what to do anymore. If I should land one of these two jobs, Nick pointed out I won't have my first paycheck until the end of March. My work from tutoring is just barely paying my credit cards with nothing left over. Even though he knows I haven't been feeling well, he ripped my head off about how messy the townhouse was today. It's all clean now, but he got on me about it because he shrank one of my new sweaters and I pointed it out to him, especially as this is the third sweater he's ruined this year. I did it as nice as possible and when he still got angry I asked him what I was suppose to do/say. He basically said there was no way for me to point out things without him getting mad. That makes me feel great. Oh, I also said how did he think it was going to be, keeping everything clean, when I start working. He said we'd have to find something that works. HA! Nick work with me, yeah, I can't even teach him to look at my giant wall calendar to know what is going on. Last night he couldn't remember about my interview this morning. How am I suppose to teach him to use my cleaning box? He knows it's there, he knows how it works, but he doesn't care enough to use it.
So again, I feel like everything is on me and I'm not even allowed to ask for help or get hysterical or anything. Just find a way to pay all our bills right now, work a full time job to pay all the bills in the future, keep an immaculate house all by myself and still be caring and happy, lose 80 pounds, and have enough energy to keep him happy. Ugh, and no where in there is there anything about my needs, my happiness, my goals. Arg, I just don't know!
Thanks for reading.