Up, up and up
Saturday, February 27, 2010
I haven't blogged in basically a month. OMG my life has seem to be tipped upside down since then. The scale has gone up and up and up....have had some downs in there but mostly up.
Life has just gotten so crappy in this last month...well it has been a build up of crappiness, it just exploded in Feb.
Kids have seriously tested me on patience and my reasons for wanting children. 14 yr old and my 10 yr old are currently grounded for lieing, stealing, and cheating. I thought I raised my children to do better than that and I have seriously felt like a failure in many areas of raising my kids....I do have one other child 12 yr old and so far she has stayed good LOL and actually made National Honor Society for middle school....I do have a high point for Feb.
A close friend has fallen seriously ill and that has weighed heavy on me the last few days...but as of now he has stabilized and looks like he will recover.
Hubby and I have fallen back into our rut, the rut that nearly destroyed our marriage just this past summer..well we are back in it. Our financial situation is grim and that has SERIOUSLY stressed me out....to the point that I probably should make an appointment with my cardiologist...but I just haven't............
I dont have energy to do anything and I try. I try to exercise but I'm skating by in that department. The thing that scares me the most on that is my feeling on it..... I just don't care....I do, but I don't do anything about it. I had my hubby and a couple of his buddies move up the treadmill out of the basement in Jan. LOL I've used it, but not as much as I thought I would of seeing it is sitting here in the living room!! LOL
I know I have to do something and I know that the exercise would bring me out of my slump, doom and gloom attitude. BUT the energy is JUST not there. Hubby suggested I take 2 more weeks but in these 2 weeks NOT to think about exercise or what I'm eating or not eating. To chill and relax on myself just stop stressing out over the whole thing. I have stressed out over this suggestion OMG I'm a flippin freak! I am NOT myself right now, not at all. I don't like the person that I am right now. I dont like the reflection I see when I'm in the mirror...I just hate everything about this person right now.