The Big D....
Sunday, March 07, 2010
I thought I better write something because it isn't like me to not blog on here. I am really having to force myself to do anything right now because I need to confess something I have been battling with all winter! The big D.....DEPRESSION!
Man this winter has just absolutely done a number on me! I have been fighting this feeling ever since the first of 2010 but things just have been going south for me for some odd reason. Then we had the worst winter practically in the history of Iowa or at least since I can remember and I found myself slipping down that dark deep path of depression. I fight it hard but I have a problem with it because of my Asthma condition anyway. Plus I have SAD which plays hell on me during the winter months of low sunlight. I try to be a very positive person and I love bringing joy to all that know me so I really hate it when I feel this way. I don't like blogging when I don't feel up and positive. I love encouraging people and I am all about being a source of support to my friends that are in need. I hate feeling victimized by depression. I know when the weather gets better I will be able to bring myself above this much faster. Right now all I want to do is sleep and be with my animals. But SparkPeople keeps beckoning to me and makes me feel a need to keep in touch and keep plugging away at it. Although my weight has done nothing over the past weeks except fluctuate a pound or two up then down I still have been keeping true to my nutrtition tracker. Fitness has been sporadic which is a bummer too. If it wasn't one damn thing getting in the way of it it was another....some of it I just didn't have any control over either! I really dislike writing this blog because it is such a bummer to me and anyone reading this but I didn't think it was fair to my friends to not let you know what has been my problem over the past few weeks. It would make me feel even worse if any of you thought for one minute I was ignoring you because you all mean so much to me but between my work schedule, my health, losing a loved one and battling the road conditions as well as the crappy weather all winter it has finally pushed me to surrender to a very depressed state of mind.
I will keep forging ahead and try to bring myself up and out of this slump I am in. Just know that I love you all very much and I will keep fighting to get the old me back ASAP!!
“A lot of people don't realize that depression is an illness. I don't wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it.”