A Spiritual Experience!! WOW!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Ok so I have been holding out on you guys. I am not one to tell all that is going on in this little brain of mine. I don't like to burden people with my problems because everyone has enough trouble of their own. So most of the time I shoulder things that are troubling me all by myself but I am learning to open up since I have been a member here. God gave me two very broad shoulders and he also made me a very strong lady so most of the time I get by. But this winter I caved in and gave into some pretty tough depression problems. There was more to the story then I was telling. My husband as you know is not in a very healthy condition if you read my introduction on my sparkpage. Well because his immune system is compromised by liver disease he has a tough time recovering when he gets sick. He caught cold early this winter and coughed his head off clear up until now. I kept asking him to see the dr but those of you who have stubborn husbands know what I am up against. Mark has smoked for 40 years and I was very scared for him. So every time he coughed I kept getting more and more worried and deeper and deeper depressed. His Doctor who cares for his liver condition has to monitor him very closely as he is very vulnerable to liver cancer now. With all that knowledge I was so afraid that he was in trouble with his lungs. Finally I had taken all I could take and asked my daughter if she could talk sense to him since she has served as an EMT. Well by golly he listened and made an appointment with my asthma doctor. That is where we went this morning.
Now for the spiritual experience...I had been praying for our precious Jersey girl and her hubby and threw in a few words for my hubby while on my knees. This morning I was getting ready to go to the doctor and I felt my insides trembling. I came out in the living room and looked at my knick knack shelf where I keep my collection of happy face trinkets. I have a big round clock with a huge yellow happy face middle. The sun was not shining very good this morning just hit and miss. But when I looked at the clock a ray of sunshine had hit the face of that clock and was so bright it looked like a neon sign. I have NEVER seen any sun hit that clock face in all the years I have had it in that spot because it is in the middle of my kitchen that is rather dark. I knew it was a sign from God that all was going to be just fine. I felt myself settle down and my trembling disappeared. A huge smile spread over my face because I sincerely felt God's presence right there letting me know he was watching over my hubby. It was one of the most awesome moments in my life. The only other time this happened was when my daughter got married and we had her ceremony in a beautiful park. We had built a beautiful alter out of raw cedar. My husband, who is incredibly talented, made the most beautiful cross for the middle of this alter where the minister and the kids would stand for the ceremony. We were staying in the park in one of their cute little cabins....the morning of the ceremony we woke up and looked across the park at the spot where the alter was. The sun was shining sporadically that morning just like today but a ray of very bright sunlight was shining on the cross and illuminating it just like it did on my little happy face clock this morning. I felt at that time that God was blessing the marriage by sending down his love through that ray of sunshine as if to say the marriage was a blessed union and was a very good thing!! I felt that same peace that morning as I did this morning. It was just a feeling that I can't explain.
Well we found out that Mark's lungs were in pretty good condition although my doctor said that the very bottom lobes were showing signs of a chronic condition that is just getting started called COPD. He gave him a very big pep talk and my husband admitted to him that he has had a poor attitude about his life since he was diagnosed with liver disease. My doctor told him he could live a good long life if he takes care of himself and told him that Ruth will help you get your attitude back on track. That made me feel so very good!! My hubby and I had a very long talk and I told him that God has given him yet another chance to take better care of himself and has blessed him another chance to live a longer life. Every day we wake up and greet another day of life is always a good day no matter what the circumstances are of your life. Sometimes we all dwell on the negative things in our life and take very little time to concentrate on all the blessings. This has lifted a HUGE burden off my shoulders and I feel the cloud that has shrouded me lifting! I feel like the weight of the world has lifted from me. I love my husband with all of my heart...the love he has shown me now for nearly 32 years has saved my life in so many ways. I believe in God's love and the power he has to take care of us when our lives seem dark and every path we turn down seems to be a dead end. I was reminded of that this morning when looking at the light that he shined down to tell me things would be ok. When life is getting you down and you feel like you have no place to turn there is one thing you should always tell yourself.....
Life IS good!!