. . .you can leave now, k, thanks, bye. . .
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
I just don't understand. I have tried to break up with him many many times in the past, yet he always shows back up in my life. I just want to be rid of him once and for all.
When he comes, it is usually slowly, but than grips you like no other. He came to visit me today. I begged him to leave. I fought with him to leave. I begged him to leave. I cried over him. I did everything possible to make him go away.
I even drugged myself in the attempt to make him more bearable and even that did not help in any way.
Even still he and I are still fighting. I have been trying to accept this visit and be able to get on but I simply can not. I just wish there was something, anything I could do to make him go away once and for all already. I don;t want to wind up in the er because of him ever again and I am hoping I can manage the situation on my own this time.
Looking for the good that he brings is extremely difficult but I have been able to find a couple of things that was acceptable this time around. It was horrible weather today and I was able to stay in. That kept him from getting any worse. I was able to simply stay in bed most of the day with the covers over my head. That was a good thing. Yet he is still here.
I am doing whatever I can to just get him to leave me alone for good. I know our relationship is nothing but debilitating for me. I do whatever I can to avoid him but he seems t love me so. I don't know what I ever did to get him to me in the first place. If I knew i would go back to tat day and take a stance against it. If only. . .
I wish there was some magic potion that I could use to absolve him from ever hurting me again. I hate him. He has never done me any real good. He rears his little head at the worst times too.
Please send love my way and maybe together with the power of the universe I can finally be rid of Mr. Migraine. Love to you all.
We can, we will, we ARE doing this!