9 Months Clean Blew Up in My Mouth!!!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Hi my SparkPeople! I rededicated myself to my quest for a healthier lifestyle and a lower body weight at the end of July 2009. The 2 things that I had to give up completely were Pepsis and honeybuns b/c they were and still are my addictions. I was eating 2 or 3 honeybuns a day and drinking at least a 20 oz. Pepsi per day. I stopped going to gas stations b/c that's where I always fell weak and bought them. Well, this morning I stopped by the gas station and bought a honeybun and a grape soda. I ate the whole honeybun & I drank half of the soda.
I knew that I was messing up and I still did it. Why did I do this? I hadn't eaten a honeybun since late July 2009, 9 months ago. I can't go back down this road. I've come too far. I must stop this now before one honeybun becomes 2 then 3 then back to a daily habit. I'm disappointed in myself. My whole mindset has been off for a couple of weeks now which lead me to this breaking point. I have got to get back on the wagon! I haven't been exercising as much as I should. I've been eating out much more than I should. It's like I'm sabotaging myself. Oddly enough, my weight is still coming down slowly. It's like I'm being given a break but I know that unless I do what I need to do, I'll start to gain the weight back and then I'll get depressed then I'll be right back at square 1. NO WAY!
There's a 5K next weekend and I'm signing up for it. Though I haven't been training like I had in the past, I'm going to do it. If my time is slower, that's okay, at least I will be back in the game. Also, now that I'm out of college for the summer, I have more free time. I will get a plan of action together for exercise right after work. I know what to do and I'll do it! Damn those blasted honeybuns! They won't beat me!
So here I am...I fell down but I'm getting right back up! Your support is really needed right now. Thanks SP friends.