This time will be different....I hope!!!
So I started my journey back in Aug of 2008 by Feb of 2009 I lost 40 pounds. From Feb to now I gained it almost all back. So incredibly disappointing. If you've read my other blogs you know we have gone through a lot with job loss and baby loss and working while being a mommy. Need I say more? That is Life! I know it is no excuse but it really got the best of me. I allowed it to anyway. I need to really put myself first or at least give myself some time to focus on me and becoming the healthier me. I need to ease into it, I think I was so gung-ho the first time around and after not losing for over 2months I got frustrated and sabotaged myself. Not good. I was tired of dieting and working my arse off. After seeing my sister go on WW and lose 60pounds with out a lick of exercise, while I am running a half marathon and doing CLX and dieting and having a 40pound loss. Very, Very disappointing. Yes, I was happy about the 40pounds but I guess I was just done. Then came the stress and the pounds piled back on. I am ashamed! I'm embarrassed. Scared to see my sister again (usually see every 6mos or so) back to being the fat younger sister. Grrrr, I don't want that!!!
I've begun to read a book called Women Food and God, and it gets down to why I am overeating. Teaching me to eat only when my body is hungry. I can't wait to peel away and discover things about me. I plan to eat healthier and begin to walk, run, bike and spin again. I am an athlete and it hurts to be a fat athlete. I use to be a Fat Fit person now just Fat! I am hoping to speak more positively about myself and begin to love the Brenda that I used to be and have grown to be. I want it bad. I want to set a good example to my 7yr old daughter and 3yr old son. I can tell all they want to do is snack when they are bored, hum????I wonder who does that????
I want to do things different this time. I know there is not a magic pill (i wish), I have to work hard and stay consistent. I know I can do it, I've done it before. This time I will be better! I would love to lose 5 pounds a month. I just need to figure out a plan ahead of time to make this work with having lots of other responsibilities (other than two kids). Routine is key!!
Here are my goals...(so scared to post them b/c if I don't make them I feel like a HUGE failure.)
-lose 5pounds a month
-cardio at least 4x (not including my cleaning homes)
-spin 2x, walk and run...
-strength at least 2x (CLX)
-only eat when I am hungry ( this will be a learning experience,but I can do it!) Not sure what the calorie range will be hoping it is under 1500???
-keep the sodium down under 2500
-96oz + water
Wish me luck. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me."
Thank you for listening and being my support system when I need it. I need it! LOL.
Just wanted to share this photos with you all...I LOVE this photo of my boys!!!