The spark has ignited inside me once again....

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

This time will be different....I hope!!!

So I started my journey back in Aug of 2008 by Feb of 2009 I lost 40 pounds. From Feb to now I gained it almost all back. So incredibly disappointing. If you've read my other blogs you know we have gone through a lot with job loss and baby loss and working while being a mommy. Need I say more? That is Life! I know it is no excuse but it really got the best of me. I allowed it to anyway. I need to really put myself first or at least give myself some time to focus on me and becoming the healthier me. I need to ease into it, I think I was so gung-ho the first time around and after not losing for over 2months I got frustrated and sabotaged myself. Not good. I was tired of dieting and working my arse off. After seeing my sister go on WW and lose 60pounds with out a lick of exercise, while I am running a half marathon and doing CLX and dieting and having a 40pound loss. Very, Very disappointing. Yes, I was happy about the 40pounds but I guess I was just done. Then came the stress and the pounds piled back on. I am ashamed! I'm embarrassed. Scared to see my sister again (usually see every 6mos or so) back to being the fat younger sister. Grrrr, I don't want that!!!

I've begun to read a book called Women Food and God, and it gets down to why I am overeating. Teaching me to eat only when my body is hungry. I can't wait to peel away and discover things about me. I plan to eat healthier and begin to walk, run, bike and spin again. I am an athlete and it hurts to be a fat athlete. I use to be a Fat Fit person now just Fat! I am hoping to speak more positively about myself and begin to love the Brenda that I used to be and have grown to be. I want it bad. I want to set a good example to my 7yr old daughter and 3yr old son. I can tell all they want to do is snack when they are bored, hum????I wonder who does that????

I want to do things different this time. I know there is not a magic pill (i wish), I have to work hard and stay consistent. I know I can do it, I've done it before. This time I will be better! I would love to lose 5 pounds a month. I just need to figure out a plan ahead of time to make this work with having lots of other responsibilities (other than two kids). Routine is key!!

Here are my goals...(so scared to post them b/c if I don't make them I feel like a HUGE failure.)

-lose 5pounds a month
-cardio at least 4x (not including my cleaning homes)
-spin 2x, walk and run...
-strength at least 2x (CLX)
-only eat when I am hungry ( this will be a learning experience,but I can do it!) Not sure what the calorie range will be hoping it is under 1500???
-keep the sodium down under 2500
-96oz + water

Wish me luck. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me."

Thank you for listening and being my support system when I need it. I need it! LOL.

My motivators!!

Just wanted to share this photos with you all...I LOVE this photo of my boys!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I found out for myself you are right about the whole running thing. I have ran 2 half marathon's but did I lose weight? Very little. So ultimately my issue is that darn food!! I saw somewhere that it is 80% diet and 20% exercise, I believe that. I wish you luck on your new start, I am starting again also and I think this is gonna be the time it actually works, for both of us!!
    4012 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2644837
    Oh, that book sounds really good!

    I'm so glad to see you fired up again!
    Me too!
    We deserve the BEST!!!!

    I LOVE your 4th of July pics!
    4032 days ago
    You've already made the first big step and that's setting your goals and deciding you want to do it. You will do it! No doubt. And don't worry about your sister. She may have lost without exercise, but I'm guessing you can run circles around her. :) Great looking family, including you!
    4034 days ago
    Wow.....GREAT family photos!

    It took me 9 years of yo-yo dieting before I finally "got it". I stopped dieting and made it a lifestyle of healthiness I could live with....and still am. I've now been on my healthy journey for 4 years and have no intention of going back.

    The support here made a HUGE difference in hitting my goal...awesome motivation and support here. Glad the spark has reignited. So happy for you!!
    4034 days ago
    I've heard great things about that book! I read Intuitive Eating and it is about the same thing-- listening to your body, eating only when you're hungry, thinking positively. Obviously it hasn't all stuck (yet!) but I am hoping that it will! I believe in their philosophy 100%

    Good luck! You will be successful missy!
    4034 days ago
    You are very Pretty !!!!!!! MISS YA
    4034 days ago
    Pls Girlfriend...take the word HOPE out...YOU WILL!!!! I need to get on the ball and send you something..I AM SOOOO BAD
    LOVE Ya
    4034 days ago
    You are being honest and you are putting yourself out there - failures, successes and all.

    It sounds like the plan is reasonable and in place, now to just execute. It is a daily decision.

    I did very well with my new plan last week and the week before. This week I am putting off the morning exercise until mid morning, sometimes afternoon and it is the pattern I need to stop.

    I was so happy with my results last week, I want to succeed and prove that I can bust through this wall. Mentally and physically!

    I know it can be done. Every day make that decision to put your health first with God's help and discipline. Pray to know true hunger and reach for the right foods to fuel your body.

    I think so often we leave "prayer" out of weight loss...I don't know about you, but I couldn't do it without prayer! I am a jewel in God's eye and he wants me to take care of this temple he has given me. To use it wisely so I can continue His service. What good is a body who doesn't have the energy to serve Christ? Whether its on Spark people or in person...

    I hope and pray for the best for your journey! I'll be thinking of you!
    4034 days ago
    Good for you for falling, admitting it and starting again. you did this before and you can do it again - after all look at your motivation - a beautiful family!
    4034 days ago
    Brenda, we have all fallen before..me...many, many times. But here is the key....YOU ARE READY TO PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AGAIN!!

    I am here 100% to support you..you have supported me through so much!!

    GO SISTA GO!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4034 days ago
  • LNWOLF72
    You can do it Brenda...I'm going through the same thing weight gain wise. I lost 60 and 1/2 of it has come back. Had to do the steroid thing for my allergies, had that stressful episode with the husband and between the two here I am. I'm still trying. Its harder to exercise when you're bigger :( I notice my feet bother me again too....must be that 30 lbs. Here's a big hug from me to you...we can do it! Starts today!!

    4035 days ago
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