Dear body, you still love me, right?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dear Body,

Here are the reasons why I think you should still love me.

- Food has been relatively on plan. On the days that I have not planned everything, I still made good choices and I have been inside my calorie range.
- Sugar cravings are totally under control. I can easily stop myself from snacking on too many things. And have allowed myself some ice cream (and planned for it!) and had no repercussions.
- Exercise has been pretty regular. The weather forced me to stay inside a bit more because of all the heat and humidity, but that is why I have a spin cycle and weights and DVDs. I have taken stairs, rode my bike to work instead of taking buses.
- Because of the exercise my legs are strong!
- In the past month I have barely drank any alcohol. There is always an opportunity, but I haven't really felt the need.

So why are you not satisfied?

I have been doing the 3 most important things well and it has been almost 4 weeks. I really feel that these are becoming habits. This is not a diet. This is so easy for me right now that I don't even have to make a list when I go to the store. It is all almost second nature which is fantastic. But here I am typing almost in tears.

I'd love to blame it on hormones, but you and I know it is just frustration. Frustration because I can't tell where all my hard work is going to. No change on the scale, no change in how my clothes fit, no change in the mirror, no change in the fat percentage no change no change no change. In fact, I look in the mirror and I feel like we are getting bigger. Is it my eyes playing tricks on me? How can it possibly be just water fluctuations or building muscle? 4 whole weeks of no change. I mean not even a pound?

I don't want to give up on us, I don't want to eat over it. But F**K, I am so angry and disappointed. I know some people can go months without seeing their first loss, blah blah blah. Still doesn't help feeling completely betrayed by you.

I know it is only a matter of time until we see the loss. If I keep doing it right it has to happen. I am not asking for a fast loss, but some loss would be great. Come on still love me, right?

yours til the end,
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