CJBAGGINS

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Tired, Tired, Tired

Monday, August 02, 2010

So, I weighed myself today and recorded the resulting amount.
*sigh*

I'm way off track.
I'm gaining quite consistently and I'm tired of it.

I'm tired of getting out of breath doing simple exercises again.

Tired of not fitting into my clothes (again).

Tired of feeling constantly bloated and blah. Again.

Tired of not sleeping well. Yep. You guessed it - again.

All of this sounds so familiar to me. And there's a simple reason - I was already down this path. This is where I started my spark journey three years ago. Granted, with almost 20 pounds less of me, but apparently that would not take long to change the rate I'm going!

I need to change something, and I need to change it FAST!

There is no way I am starting my spark journey to a healthier me over again at the VERY beginning. That means I need to get moving and get moving NOW.

I'm DONE.

The problem is - I have no idea how to get going again.
I want to be doing cardio again 5 or 6 times a week and strength training 3 times a week with 8 pound weights. I want to be eating a bunch of whole foods and whole grains and eating upwards of 6 or 7 servings of freggies a day.

The thing is, I don't think I can start right in the middle like that as I've let myself go to pot so much.

So what do I do, my sparkfriends? Start with something small? Or jump in?

cj


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _RAMONA
    I SO know that derailed feeling, CJ. I'm not sure it's possible to 'start over' and nor is it possible to begin at the height of momentum. What's working for me with respect to re-building momentum is making a very detailed and specific plan based on what I know I want to do, and then babystepping my way into the plan.

    The way it is helping me is that on the good days I am able to get closer to the plan, yet on my less than stellar days I am encouraged to get to that 'sweet spot' and I do at least something in the right direction... more than I would otherwise do.

    You know, you were my inspiration so often in those early days of my journey, and you still are. When I find myself struggling (or pouting) I just think about you and your calm, measured response in the right direction... you didn't seem to be in a race of any sort, and you seemed to be celebrating evrey little change. With all of the crises my family has weathered the past two years, I think about you talking about 'lifestyle' when your husband was in the hospital... taking your meals with you, stairs instead of the elevator... and how simply focusing on your well-being in small ways kept you going. It's kept me going, too.

    Have you read any of the Spark articles on maintaining? You might want to... I have them saved in my favourites. I've found that by incorporating those attitudes into my new lifestyle, even though I haven't released the weight I want to, I've been able to hold steady for two years... and that's a HUGE difference from the 30 lb gain in four months I was able to accomplish before I joined SparkPeople. Even though I'm not yet the weight I want to be, I behave as though I am.

    CJ, I thank God for the blessing that is you! May you find peace within and all around you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith, and may that faith increase in you daily. May grace and fortitude be yours as you journey faithfully toward health and well-being in your body and spirit. May you be content. May the presence of Christ settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you, taking it all and bless others with it in whatever way God calls you! I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen!

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    Ramona
    3738 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/7/2010 6:50:43 PM
  • no profile photo CD6687446
    I'm feeling the same way, CJ. I'm jumping in, but with the small stuff. 8 glasses of water a day. 30 minutes of exercise a day - sometimes that's just the treadmill. I tried Coach Nicole's kickboxing yesterday and I will never be the same!

    I'm practicing conscious veggie therapy - gotta eat those veggies! Last night I made a salad with red leaf lettuce, ice berg lettuce, broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cucumber, green pepper, celery, and tomato. I loved all the crunch and variety and made enough for leftovers.

    I think leftovers is going to be the way to go for me - freezing healthy meals so I don't have to cook every night. Also, raw veggies, but with a dip. Maybe cream cheese, maybe salsa, maybe bean dip. Whatever it takes to get me back to eating more veggies. I also am working on having fruits and veggies cleaned and ready to eat, so when I just gotta have something, I can just grab!

    And tracking, of course. Which I only like to do for the Sparkpoints. But I've been appalled at the amount of unhealthy calories and fats I've been consuming. Buh-bye fast food!

    Don't give up, girlie. It sucks right now for me cuz all my cravings are back, and I have to fight all over again, but I'm fighting! The water and exercise are helping flush the junk out of my body. I'm fighting not to put more in. Thursday, I get the results of a food sensitivity blood test, and I hope to be able to make better food choices based on the information (and education) I'm about to receive.

    Hang in there. Oh, and one more thing. We are NOT our weight. You're a beautiful person and I love you just the way you are. And I love me as I am, too! emoticon
    3739 days ago
  • LOVETOBEALOSER
    I know how easy it is to get sidetracked and off track. I joined the Health and Wellness Center last Friday to help with the weight lost and to keep me focused. I have a personal trainer for 3 sessions and I told her to really push me. You can do it. Start a daily food log. That really helped me when I first started. Good luck and I will check back in.
    3761 days ago
  • MEMERE2003
    When I was going through a difficult time many years ago, a mentor gave me her "give yourself three days" advice. I try to apply that when I go off the program. The first day back I just try to be aware of what I am eating by tracking it whether it's in range or not. The second day I start planning my meals more carefully and purchasing/preparing the foods I need. The third day I am back on track. I am new to this but it worked for me when I took planned detours this summer due to trips away from home.
    emoticon
    3768 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/8/2010 4:54:54 PM
  • JUSTME29
    I followed you home, can you keep me? emoticon
    Seriously though, I'm right where you are. Summer 2008 rocked for me - I lost nearly 40 pounds and was in the best shape I'd been in since high school. Then I kinda lost my way, gained and lost a little here and there, and finally recommitted this summer (right around my 2 year sparkaverisary) after having regained half of the 40 I lost. I'm trying to dive back in, but the water's awfully cold. I've started walking and worked my way back up to a decent distance pretty quickly. I'm doing a week trial at Curves and I'm amazed at how good that feels. The food part has been harder, I just can't seem to keep in my limits.
    Shall we hold hands and jump?
    3772 days ago
  • SUETINGE
    CJ, I could have written this blog. It sounds like so many of us are in the same boat. For me, I'm concentrating on getting back into the exercise routine that worked before and my freggies. The rest will follow, I hope.

    emoticon
    3773 days ago
  • DEBULACLARK
    CJ - we are in the exact same boat and your blog sounds just like the one that was in my head yesterday....that I never posted...I'm diving back in but at my own pace...no you may not be able to use 8 lb weigths right now but you will. Do your cardio...do only 20 minutes if that's what it takes...and get your eating in check... I'm focusing on all that and my water too....LET'S DO IT GIRLFRIEND!
    3774 days ago
  • CATIATM
    I guess it depends on your personal style. In general, I think "all or nothing" tends to lead to nothing, so I'd suggest giving yourself some confidence by starting small, succeeding, and then building on that.

    Just my two cents.
    3774 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/10/2010 1:16:48 PM
  • ROXYMOM11
    I totally understand your frustration.
    I know this sounds very bizarre but during lent I had my best results!
    I did those slimfast shakes, not so much for diet but for fasting because it was lent.
    shake for breakfast and lunch and a small supper sparkworthy and snack.
    My problem was always portion control. It really helped!!
    I was able to shrink my stomach size and tighten up my appetite.
    Don't forget to drink tons of water and walk!
    Btw- this is only a temporary! I would not do this long term.

    I am back on tack with my spark diet. Maybe a week then go back to your regular diet. See if it would help you. Or talk to your doctor.
    I don't like going to the doctor because they are always trying to push aids or
    surgery on me. But you are very much closer to your goal weight and they probably won't do that to you.

    I know that you can do it!!!
    Like Wenchmaid said execise and giddyup! emoticon emoticon
    3774 days ago
  • WENCHMAID
    Sounds like it's time to clean out the fridge and go shopping for fruits and veggies. You can do cardio five or six times a week, just not intense cardio, or alternate. Do a video today and take a steady walk tomorrow, the next day do something different. Get yourself moving for 30 minutes a day in some way, you don't have to run a marathon out of the gate. If you have to, go to five pound weights for a few weeks. Or start off at two days of strength training with the 8 pounds until you get past that awful stiff and sore day after phase. It's time to get back on the horse! Giddy up!!!
    3775 days ago
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