PANDEMONIUM

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Starting over again

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

This is hard, but I've got to face up to facts. I've gained back a good bit of the weight I had lost. I lost a total of 101 lbs. But, I gained back 69 of those lbs, OVER HALF! I don't know what I was thinking. I know some of it was due to the depression I had to battle through. But what about the rest? Why couldn't I seem to get back on track again? Why am I still struggling to get back on track? I can't seem to get it right lately.

But, I am going to give it another try. I know I deserve better than this. Now, just making myself believe that is hard. But, I am working on it.

It's been a whole new world working full time and trying to make time to take care of me. Sometimes it's just not possible. But, in taking a step towards myself, I have been looking for help.

A few things standing in my way:
I tore the ligaments in my ankle just before halloween. So, I had to take time to heal from that
As a result of that injury, I found out I have arthritis in my ankles, and bone fragments in the one I injured. So, I have to find a new way to workout from what I was used to.
I have to figure out ways to eat healthy while at a job that gives no breaks, and I am constantly on my feet and on the go for 8 hours a day.
Learning to over come the tiredness that comes from my job nd the sore feet.

The first step I've taken is I ordered a book on cycling to lose weight. It's weird how I went from riding 50 miles a week or better to not being able to ride at all. It's the altitude here, but I've got to learn to get past it. I'm hoping this will help.

And I need to find a good support group. I can never seem to find one that I fit in with. I always seem to get pushed by the wayside, and that just makes me feel worse and more likely to fail. So, need to find a place I feel welcomed and like I belong.

So, starting over again, from 207 lbs......
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD320440
    Hey, Girl! I do feel your pain. Hang in there. I'm planning on jumping back on the band wagon myself .... Officially on Jan 1, 2011! I'm still recovering some from the surgery, so I don't want to over do it too soon. I figure New Year's is a good day to start. ;-)
    As for the support ... personally I do miss the old group where we were all there to support one another each day. How can we find that again? I know Amy's tried with the group on FB, but not much going on there. Could be due to holidays.

    Lin emoticon
    3564 days ago
  • no profile photo CD8829652
    I think there is something so very healing in "starting over". We are given the gift of starting over through the blood of Christ everyday! Why not except this gift in some of the most important aspects of our lives...our health and self esteem.

    I wish you an incredible new journey here on spark and in life!

    Please note the "u new" part of my name. I too am trying to wipe the slate clean and start a-new with the help of a supportive community and of course the love of my Savior!

    emoticon
    3566 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4592528
    Welcome back, Heather! I applaud you for not just giving up. You have past successes to help you where most just starting the journey don't really believe they CAN make a change. You've done it, you can do it again! I gained significantly, lost it, kept it off 5 years, then when the stress came again, gained it all back. And then did it all again! This 3rd major weight loss for me needs to be the last. I know that it would be harder next time, so I'm trying to learn to handle stresses without overeating and being sedentary. I hope I can encourage you, and I'm sure there is much I can learn from you! So Welcome back to Colorado Christian Women! Let's
    work together! Merry Christmas!
    3568 days ago
  • SMILESRME
    Hi Heather! I just noticed your blog on the Colorado Christian Women's SparkTeam. Good for you for rededicating yourself to a lifestyle of health! You did great losing 101 pounds! I am sure it seems like a battle to you, to begin the loss again. Here on the team, we would love to offer you support, encouragement and prayer on your journey. Going to a full time job outside what your do for your family and home is certainly a challenge. Congrats on getting started again.

    Joy!
    Julia : )

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3568 days ago
  • SEWINGMAMACDS
    Welcome Back! I do agree about taking small steps. emoticon
    3568 days ago
  • PERKINSSISTERS
    You can do it. Take small steps and do just a little bit at a time so that it doesn't seem overwhelming. I'm so sorry for your struggles. Hope things will get better! emoticon
    3569 days ago
  • SCOUTHARPS
    Welcome back! We all hit those rough patches, and this time of year seems stacked against you if you are trying to eat healthy. But January is just around the corner, and there will be diet stuff all over....

    Would a virtual team ride be of interest to you? Across the country, the route of the Tour, or Giro or Italia? How can I help?
    3569 days ago
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