30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 31,717

Struggling is an understatement.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

About a month ago I logged back into Sparkpeople for the first time since March of this year. Several factors drew me back to Sparkpeople:

**A terrible embarrassing incident in mid September brought on one of the worse bingeing episodes I've experienced in the past ten years. I was beyond out of control till almost the end of November. I will detail this later...right now I don't want to cry before going to bed.
**My health has deteriorated terribly.
**I feel lost.

I thought back to myself in the recent past and remember one of the most stable and happy periods had included a serious commitment and involvement with the community and everything offered here in Sparkpeople.

I was drawn back...but when I logged in I saw what I used to weigh and was horrified at how much I had gained since March. So I logged out, completely freaked out.

About a month after this I decided to log back in, weigh in and re-set my goals. Still very very nervous.

A month has passed and here I am. A new gym has opened up literally down the road. I will take it as a positive sign, even better I have a membership. Tomorrow I want to dust off my gym bag, sort through my clothes and find my gym gear so that next week I will have no excuses.

I am scared though that once again I will give up.

Fear for some reason has become a second skin for me....

and I hate it.

**This picture is not mine, I do not take any credit for it.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post

    Be the First to Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by AMEENA5