Can't believe I'm 1/4 of the way there!
Friday, January 07, 2011
Last night I came across a post I'd made on a message board and noticed my progress bar. I hadn't thought about it in a while. First I noticed how pretty it was and thought how I'd made a nice choice when I set it up. Then I suddenly realized the little marker is 1/4 of the way across the bar! I really hadn't realized I'd made significant progress.
It's all the result of having so much less day-to-day stress in my life. It's so much easier to make time for exercise, and I'm so much more relaxed in my approach to my nutrition. For six months I've been calm and in control of what I eat.
For the first time in years I feel like I can trust myself to follow through on the commitments I make to myself, because I'm not being pulled all over the place by responsibilities that I hate.
This peace probably won't last forever, but I'm going to take full advantage of it to make as much progress as I can toward becoming healthy and to establish a healthy lifestyle that I can maintain in the future.
I've set specific weight goals tied to positive changes that will happen when those goals are reached. Some are things that will happen automatically, like fitting into certain sizes of clothing, or having parts of my body back the way I like them. Those things are in my plan to give me a mental picture of how things will be in the future. Some are things I plan to do when my fitness level is where it needs to be, like returning to dance classes.
It will take me about 13 months to reach a really major goal on my birthday in 2012. It's a goal I just reached a few years ago, then abandoned when I slid back into old habits and gained back the 70 pounds I'd lost. I was at a point where I could have treated myself to this special thing, but in my mind I was a few pounds too heavy. If I'd gone ahead and rewarded myself, I don't think I would have slipped back, because it is a reward that would make me commit to fitness like never before.
I am stronger now and more dedicated to taking care of myself for reasons that aren't rooted in a fantasy of magically becoming young again. Well, maybe that's still there a little bit, but I've got more realistic things to focus on so that it's not constantly in the back of my mind that no matter how I work, I can't get what I really want.
It helped that I saw a woman maybe 20 years older than me at the Y yesterday who just looked so fit. She had the figure of a shapely thirty year-old and was putting all this joyful energy into her class routine. I want to be just like her!
It was a little discouraging to run my new, just-be-happy-with-healthy-don
lure goal weight through the BMI calculator. It would be at the very top of the healthy range. I thought about it, and I decided to stick with that goal weight, because I need for something to be good enough and be achievable in a time frame that isn't discouraging. Considering I have spent most of my adult life at over 220 pounds, my goal weight of 148 pounds would be a huge improvement. It's also a weight I think I can maintain without perpetual calorie restriction.
Oh my. Ramble much? I don't blog for ages, then write a novel. So nice to have my thoughts organized in one place, though.