1-99 SparkPoints 6

5000 calorie binge yesterday, so I sat down and wrote my fat self some hate mail

Sunday, February 06, 2011

As recommended through a program that I am currently working on ( A course in Weight Loss) I sat down and wrote my FAT SELF a letter:

Dear FAT Tracie,
YOU have made my life miserable. I have been embarassed, tired and ashamed and overwhelmed by your sick addiction with food for well over 20 years. Why can't you just go away and let me live my life and be happy? I'm tired of seeing your face and fulfilling your obsession with food. I can't wear the clothes I want to and do the things I want to with you stuffing your face all the time and thinking about food all the time. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I've had it with this relationship and IT IS OVER!!!!! Don't call me, or email me, or write me, or come knocking on my door in the middle of the night because you are driving me crazy!

Also as recommended, My FAT self wrote me back:

Dear Tracie,

I have been here for so long putting up with your fears and worries in Life. It is OK to have people like you and men look at you. It's OK to have fun and love and be active and be a part of the world. You don't have to hide anymore because NO ONE will ever hurt you again. You are not stupid, you are not a failure, and you CAN accomplish anything anything you want to! DON"T be AFRAID of LIFE and LIVING. You are a warm, caring, beautiful human being with feelings other than FEAR and ANGER. YOU love your husband and he loves YOU but staying fat won't keep you isolated and true to only him, let your love of each other keep your hearts alive. He will not get angry or jealous if another man flirts with you or looks at you. In fact, he is very proud of you and all that you have accomplished already. Good GOD Tracie, you lost over 100 pounds in ONE YEAR!!!!!!! YOU have nothing to fear about losing this relationship because your marriage is rock solid and full of honesty. YOU have every right to be happy so QUIT sabotaging my diet! Be KIND to YOURSELF because I am not your biggest problem. Take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, " What part of me deserve this kind of treatment?"""" You will find the answer to be, " I deserve BETTER"
Now go out there and give yourself BETTER!

Amazing how being HONEST with yourself makes you wonder why you haven't been HONEST with YOURSELF all along.
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