Suddenly Realized That I'm No Longer The Fat Girl

Monday, February 14, 2011

No, this doesn't mean that I've gotten to my goal size. Or that my BMI is in the so-called "healthy" range. What it means is that I suddenly realized that I am the size of the "average American woman."

Saturday DH and I ran errands and made weekly purchases. At Costco I saw a coat that I really liked. Because I no longer have a spring coat that fits, I grabbed one and tried it on. The coat was too big. Slightly confused, I reached for a medium. Two ladies standing nearby spontaneously commented that the medium fit me much better. So I bought it. It's a sassy red trench coat and makes me feel like a million bucks.

While we continued shopping, etc., I looked around at the other women and realized that I'm pretty much dead median for size. And I realized that even at my heaviest I was not nearly as big as some of the women we saw. Body image distortion has been an issue for me since, oh, middle school, so being able to put things into proper perspective is hard for me.

Sunday afternoon I dragged two boxes of smaller clothes upstairs and tried them all one. 75% of them fit - including some 12s and even a size 10 blouse. My size 16 pants have all been retired, although a couple of sheath dresses that size remain. I continue to insist that they run small, lol. Gotta love the inconsistency of women's clothes... Anyway, my clothes are now mostly a mix of 14s and 12s, instead of 16s and 14s. The "average" American woman is 5'5" and a size 12. That's me! I'm now officially "average size!"

This is an absolute revelation. I'm used to thinking of myself as "big," "fat," "plus sized," etc. Learning to think of myself as "fit," "normal," or even - dare I say it? - "hot" is a giant adjustment. But one I will happily make! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Way to go girl!
    Such a good feeling when you can shop at "normal" stores because your body is finally "normal".
    You tell all that hard work you did who's boss!!!
    3736 days ago
    3736 days ago
  • MADDIE_82
    Good for you in coming to these realizations! I bet that sassy, red trench coat looks amazing on you!

    You should see my bedroom closet - there are several boxes in there...labelled 11&12, 9&10, 7&8, and 6 and below....I can't wait to give away the size 14's that I am currently wearing and open up the long lost 11&12 box of clothes! Just a few more weeks, I think!
    3737 days ago
    Awesome! I'm so happy for you! emoticon
    3738 days ago
    Aw...I'm so happy for you! You're such a wonderful person, it really saddens me that you felt so bad about your body image. We're always our worst critics and can be so hard on ourselves. I'm very happy for you that you're finding the happiness that you so deserve. And I'm happy for you that you found that "hot" red jacket to spark you to drag out that box of "smaller" clothes...THAT FIT YOU NOW!!!

    You need to take a moment with yourself in front of the mirror in your favorite new found "smaller" clothes, and say out loud..."I DID THAT"! Take credit for how good you look and feel on the inside and outside!!! You deserve this happiness!
    3738 days ago
  • LIMENADE2011
    woohoo!!! Rock that red coat!! so exciting to see some awesome results - youre hard work is paying off!
    3739 days ago
    Yay, way to go! That's exciting news!!
    3739 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2660038
    way to go, spark friend!!! emoticon
    3739 days ago
    Nice blog, I can't wait until I get to this point. emoticon
    3739 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5190246
    Woo Hoo for average! I'm sure I'm not the only one who would love to see a picture of you in that sassy red trench.
    3739 days ago
    WAHOO!!! I love this blog. I was recently having a similar realization in that I now fit into regular sized clothing as well. Every time I get on the bus I automatically "make more room" for myself because that's what I've always done. And when I pass Lane Bryant I look at it like it's the only store I can shop in. But then I realize that's not true anymore - and even though I still wear Size L & XL, so do A LOT of women. I then look around that bus and realize that I'm not so huge any more. Pretty awesome/weird/wonderful feeling!
    3739 days ago
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