Attitude and Results
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
What a difference a year makes in my attitude and the results of my total body transformation.
I was reading my journals from last year when I had just got started on the journey of a life time.
I was a obese women of 68 weighing 333 lbs. I was consuming on average 2300 calories a day. I am sure there were days that I had consumed more.
I had been at my present weight for about 3 months. I was maintaining. You see I had cut back so not to keep gaining.
The Doctor had cut my calories to about 1600 a day. Usually the rule is drop 500 calories from your daily plan at a time. 500 calories x 7 days is 3500 calories, equals one pound. Plus any exercises that you can do.
This was the starting plan. Sometimes one has to get into a plan in steps so as not to be too much a shock to the system.
Here's a entry from Sunday, Feb. 21st. 2010. Got up at 5:00 am, bathroom, back to sleep, Got up had glass of V-8 juice. Watched TV. back to sleep. sleep till 2:30.
Got up feeling real good, the aches and pains are taking a rest. I fixed one of my favorite club sandwiches . Avocado, pre cooked bacon, tomatoes , lettuce on three slices of Oat Nut bread. Out of mayo, used a little cesar dressing. It was so good. Missed the mayo. Should get used to no mayo. Had a diet coke, my one for the day.
Had a Jello mousse, 60 calories. Sandwich about 450 calories.
It's 6:30 on computer, plan on watching TV. I don't plan on eating any more but a yogurt.
It's 9:30 and I am hungry. Water is not doing it. Fix some tater tots and 2 chicken sausages. Share it with Titan. Also have a chicken hot pocket. One more Jello mousse . Stayed up till 12:00. That about 800 calories . Woke up at 2:30, had a plain low cal Jello, 10 calories, and water.
Food is still my enemy, still my master. I need to be free.
The above is exactly what I wrote.
Here the day before, Saturday, Feb. 20th, 2010.
Before I get up I think about what I want to do with my day. But usually my idea and thoughts are far from what my body is able to do.
The pain I feel upon standing and walking to the other room, has me grabbing for the extra strength pain pills . The pain in my back, the pain running down my shoulder, the cramps in the hand, it's so painful. I want to do my hair today but I can't hold my arms above my head long enough. Just writing in this journal is painful to my fingers and causing a cramp in my wrist. Might as well eat .
I will fix one of my favorite club sandwiches. Only have 2 slices of bread, have to cut back someplace. Avocado , tomato, bacon, lettuce with mayo . That's all the mayo, need to buy more. The Doctor would probably tell me not to.
Drink my one diet coke. Watch TV and a movie, The Glass House. Stayed up to see the Olympics. Had a late snack of a pear, crackers, and peanut butter at 10.15 Kept my calories under for today.
Went to sleep at 12:00.
Monday Feb. 22, 2010.
I got up went to the office with a glass of V8 juice. Later fix 2 fried eggs, some pre cooked turkey bacon . and toast.
Lunch another avocado , bacon, tomato sandwich. my diet coke for the day.
Cook a turkey roll for dinner, some spinach , but had a dish of cubed potatoes, onions with sour cream. Sampled the turkey when it came out of the oven.
I have not conquered the urge to eat at the wrong time, the wrong foods. Sometime I am so good. Then it's like my evil twin, the "fat " me takes over and eats and eats, Then I feel terrible and so guilty later. What's wrong with me????
Tuesday Feb. 23, 2010, Saw the Doctor today. Weighted in and since Jan 5th have lost 8 lbs. Another month at this level and my calories will be reduced.
""Bad Me"" I finished up at the doctors, but before I even leave the office I am thinking about rewarding myself with a dinner from Carl's Jr's. I am thinking should I or not. The should I won out.
I stopped and got a Famous Star hamburger, a med. fries and onion rings. I got home and added an avocado to the burger, I did not mess around I gobbled it down like it was my last meal. I feel so GUILTY. This is the last time, never again. I will reward myself with a pedicure or a new scarf. NO MORE FOOD> That might as well been my last meal. I am through playing Russian Roulette with my life.
I know I need a support system. Someone I can call or check in with, I can not do this alone. Soon I am going to be on less calories, how will I manage then??
This is exactly what I wrote.
Starting April 2010, my meal plans changed a lot.
I did go on less calories . I went to 800 to 900 calories a day. My BMI was 56. I had so much fat to lose, the Doctor wanted me to eat just enough that was necessary and force the body to start to burn fat for fuel. If I would have stayed at a higher calorie plan, I would have lost but not as efficiently. And sometimes the body accepts the reduced calories and just settles in . My Doctor believes in kick starting your weight loss. I will probably go to 1200 calories someday, but doubt I will ever eat much more than that. Unless I start to train for the Iron Man Race. . Or join the NFL. I firmly believe people consume too many calories..
When my calories were reduced I started dropping weight. I started to work out. I quit the club sandwiches. I never went to Carls again for 8 months. And when I did it was a burger, which I ate half of it. I gave the meat from the other half to Titan. No fries , no onion rings.
In fact that is the only time I have ever been to a fast food place in over a year.
It took me about 3 months , from January into March to get my act together. But when I did there was no looking back.
I eat on average 1000 calories a day. Three meals. I snack on grapes. Which is added into my plan. I hardly ever eat bread. I eat no white foods. That's rice, pasta, bread, sugar. If I have pasta, it's whole grain. I use a sugar substitute, or sometimes honey. Only for my tea. I limit my carbs. The carbs I do eat are the carbs I get from vegetables and fruits. I eat a lot of protein, Which I need to lose weight and to build muscle. Protein burns up faster than carbs. I store carbs and in turn the carbs are stored as fat. That's the starchy carbs. I love protein shakes so, that's my go to meal for breakfast. A thick fruit protein smoothie.
I believe in quality of foods. No canned or processed.
And I follow a very strict portion control.
When I first started out I weighted food on a small kitchen scale. And used a measuring cup.
I was surprised when I ate cereal, my guess at a cup was way off , more like 1 3/4 cup. The same for milk. Which I gave up in favor of almond milk.
I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is eating too much. Even on a controlled eating plan. When it says 3 or 4 oz of meat. That's like half a chicken breast. That's half a rib eye steak. When you are allowed spaghetti, it's 1/2 cup.
If you base your serving on Restaurant portions, you are eating for two.
Now when it comes to exercise I workout 7 days a week. 6 days at the gym. And on Sundays I work out at home. A reduced workout of about 90 minutes.
But during the week, I spend 3 hours or so a day. Burning from 800 to 1400 calories a day. I have put my muscles back in charge, they are the power , and in turn they are helping me rid my body of the lingering Fatso;s.
I am sculpting my body. I no longer have thunder thighs. I don't even have any saddle bags. My slacks hang like they should, . no pulling at the seams.
I have lost almost all fat in my back, no bra bludge. My legs have a space between them,. Thighs no longer rub together. I have a nice rounded booty, not flat and flabby. I am even losing the loose skin and fat under my arms.
Clothes that I though I would not be wearing for a month or so are fitting.
I never got to ware all the size 16 or 14 that I bought. I hate to buy 12's, I know it won't be long and I will be in 10's.
Too bad there is not a clothes exchange
When I was obese. I never looked at myself in a mirror. Once in a while at a store I would catch a glimpse of this hugh fat women staring back at me and I did not know her. I did not want to know her.
I had removed all my mirrors at home.
When I moved to my apartment, I never hung the mirrors ,but I had a large bathroom mirror. So I finally had to face myself.
I decided since I had to, I might as well talk to myself. I would get a craving and I would go to the mirror and ask myself why did I want more fat on my body by eating that food .
I also named my body fat. It was the Lardo's and the Fatso's.
I would grab rolls of the Lardo's and say , NO. I don't want any more of you . I told all of them that they were being evicted. I would yell at myself. if I felt weak , I would yell louder , I would really get on my case. You see no one else could do it. I had to be the one. I had caused the weight gain. The Lardo's and Fatso's were there because I thought food was more important than my own health,
I would hold a roll of fat and say " here is the pizza that I loved. This other big glob of fat is all the mac and cheese that I had to eat. And there are the cookies that I though were so good, I would call out all the food weakness that I had. And believe me, there many. I would dare them to challenge me again ..
I am sure the neighbors though I was crazy. But it has worked. I never slipped up and even now with all the weight I have lost I still stand in front of the mirror and remind my self and the few fatso's that are hiding out, laying low, trying to wait me out that I will never give in to food and their cravings .
I am in control. Food will never control me again..NEVER. NEVER.
I EAT TO LIVE . NOT LIVE TO EAT>.
You have to have attitude. It's not enough to have a positive attitude. You've got to have in your face attitude. The kind of attitude that says you will succeed. The self assured attitude. A determined attitude. A attitude that will stand up to any obstacles.
Get that attitude and you will see results.
Yell, hollar, scream, do what ever you need to to get that fighting attitude.
You are in a fight, you vs the bad habits, the Fatso's. Who is going to win?
You are !!!!! So get with it.
Remember we are the Champions.
Peace and Love.