Monday, April 04, 2011
I have been really down in the dumps lately. Just really moody and feeling yucky.
How can you be angry and sad at the same time? You pick yourself up but then find yourself blah again.
As a self prescribed therapy, I wrote a letter to someone who did not always have my best interests at heart. I let them know a thing or two and even then some. They missed of the best times that may have been possible. I wrote in there that I forgave them so that I could heal. I tore up the letter after reading it to myself again. The surprising thing is that I feel more at peace with myself.
Yesterday, I went to church. The church is actually in a movie theater. My butt did not want to fit. I sat but was uncomfortable and self conscious (I gained a few pounds, ugh). Last night, I watched the "Ruby" episode where she finds that she needs to be accountable to herself.
So today, I made me, myself, and I accountable. Believe it or not, I won the 500 goodie point spin today. I think the points helped to keep me motivated today. I stayed within my calorie range. I will try not to obsessive about the logging details. I found a song to get me moving again. Tomorrow, I am going to try and move some more. I will make some "me" time so I can rock more and then color myself a new lifestyle because I deserve "it".